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Hopes and dreams dashed

surfchica's picture

Married almost two years. SD is 11. Sweet girl and we have a good relationship I think but wife says I bully her. SD has some bad habits that wife won't stay consistent in correcting. SD won't pick up after herself so when I ask her to please do it wife says I am bullying her. If I ask her to take her dishes to the sink I am also a bully. If I tell her she left the shower on and to please turn it off I am a bully. If I ask her to please get a Kleenex when she sneezes into her hand I am a bully. Basically I am deemed a bully for any type of correction of typical kid behavior. And I only say something to the kid when I just can't take it anymore because wife lets her slide on everything. I heard wife telling SD that it doesn't matter what I say. Total disrespect of me I think.we are on a lovely vacation right now and wife yelled at me in front of SD that she doesn't want to married to me any longer. SD likes me and doesn't think I bully her. Wife is calling a lawyer in the hotel room while I watch kids by pool. What a ruined trip to say the least.
And yes. We have tried counseling. Wife thinks it makes things worse and won't go. I am a good provider. Pay for it all. And I love her dearly but her lack of respect for me is unbearable.

Rags's picture

Time to put this toxic woman in your rear view mirror.

Who would you tolerate being treated like this by your spouse? You shouldn't tolerate this crap for one more second.

While your STBXW is on with her divorce attorney call a locksmith and schedule to have the locksmith waiting when you get home in an hour or so, rekey the locks and put this toxic individual in your rear view mirror. You should have a partner that considers you than as more as her support bitch. As soon as you get off the phone with the locksmith book your ticket home and make an appointment with your own attorney and file first.

Even in single income marriages there must be an equity partnership. The spouses must contribute positively to the marriage. That does not necessarily mean financially. One thing is for sure. Telling children in the marital home that she no longer wants to be married to you, regardless of the biology of the children involved, is not indicative of her being your equity life partner while you work to support the family.

Nope, buh-bye to the toxic bitch and good riddance IMHO.

Take care of yourself and good luck.

dood's picture

Wow. So sorry you're going through this. All the advice here is good advice. Just get yourself out of there soonest.

Best of luck. Things will be better for you once you've distanced yourself from this negative horrible person.

ctnmom's picture

Sometimes, there are groups of people or certain people who just don't jell together, for whatever reason. Sounds like you, your wife and SD are that. Did your wife have a previous partner who was hard on SD or mean to her, and maybe she's projecting that on to you? I can feel how your heart is broken in your post, but for now some distance may be for the best. So unfortunate that she won't unpack all this in counseling.