My stepson is ruining my marriage
I have been married to my husband for 11 years we have custody of my stepson since was 4 he is now 14. He is African American, adopted and in a white family, we do let him be in touch with his culture. I have treated him like my own his adoptive mother has not been in the picture at all so I have been the Mother figure. He is so disrespectful and to me and any other female (family and teachers) when he was 12 he got into some trouble at school with pot and almost got expelled! He has bitten me, kicked me, punched me and has called me numerous names even when I have not even done or said anything to him! I just caught him smoking weed in our bathroom and talking about getting a gun to his buddy on the phone, I am getting scared to even sleep with our door unlocked. We have sent him to a weekend boot camp that did nothing we have taken away all electronics and hanging out with his friends and now he is being destructive to our home (walls and etc) his Father is trying everything and nothing is working. My husband is even ready to send him somewhere but cant afford the military schools out there. I do not know what to do I am so sick of being hurt by this child everyday I love his father so much and not sure if I should just go my separate way to get away from him, should I really give up my future for a little punk?
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Call.the.cops. Tell them you
Call.the.cops.
Tell them you caught him smoking weed in the bathroom, give them permission to search the house AND the kid. Advise them you overheard him talking about buying/obtaining a gun with another juvenile, point out the holes in the wall and utter the infamous words: I am in fear for my life.
Juvie Hall.
Not just for a weekend.
And call your insurance company. Most will cover inpatient therapy for "drug addiction" get the kid admitted to the facility as he is discharged/released from Juvie... the hospital will figure out the kid has FAR more wrong with him than a little pot and point you and dad in the right direction for ongoing therapy.
THIS^^^ all.of.this. His
THIS^^^ all.of.this. His actions are not just annoying, they are CRIMINAL. do you have other children in the house??
That is one thing I want to
That is one thing I want to do but then my marriage will definitely be over
If your husband will leave
If your husband will leave because you call the police on a young man that's is physically assaulting you then your marriage isn't worth keeping.
He also steals I find clothes
He also steals I find clothes with tags that he did not buy because we do not give him money. I had to buy a lock for my bedroom and closet and a safe for my jewelry and money. He always tries to tell his Dad that I am a liar that I just want him to get in trouble (when I find the evidence and show his father). Sometimes his Dad believes him which is unbelievable.
He does have those issues we
He does have those issues we have tried therapy he will not participate and is very rude to them.
Sunshine, most kids are like
Sunshine, most kids are like that.
Until they are admitted IN PATIENT in a lock down facility ... and are advised by the staff there: your release date depends on your participation. Your insurance will pay for you to remain here until the age of 21 (yes, that is a LIE, but the kids don't know that). If the kid thinks he is going to spend eight years locked up, no friends, no phone, no life, with a gaggle of shrinks for company... he will find his tongue.
He is the youngest the only
He is the youngest the only other child is my daughter which graduates next school year he steers clear of her.
I went through this
I went through this rebellious phase as a child too. If I can offer any advice it would be to change what you are currently doing and do whatever it takes to wake him up. I was placed on the back burner and made excuses for as a child so I got into a world of mess. Eventually it got so out of control it consumed my entire teen years and landed me in a coma for three weeks due to head trauma. If my parents would have placed my butt in some sort of program, camp, or jail, I would not have lost out on so much of my life. No matter how hard it might be, you have to throw up your hands and say "It isn't within my ability to control, so I am handing it over to someone who can fix it". Imagine how thankful he will be if you took the hard road and saved him for it? Everyone on here is right, call the police or have him admitted somewhere. He needs help and is crying out for it.