I think I have to walk away
The whole story is long but I'll try to make it short. I met someone that was in the process of divorce, I didn't know that although after a few months he told me. After about six months he told me there were two kids. He was married at 18 because she planned it and his parents told him to be a grown up. He didn't want to marry her, and they didn't like her. But hey, be a grown up! It lasted 4 years.
When I found out about the babies I broke it off and encouraged counseling for them to save the family. Ok times goes by and I hear from him again, counseling tried and failed. She threw him out, burned his clothes, told their kids he left because of them, attacked with a knife AND was planning her next marriage. In the meantime he was living in his car. Well a used car because she had the new one. He eventually moved back in with his parents while living pay check to pay check to pay the bills from the marriage.
He's a hard working great guy and but I just should have walked away. But stupid me I didnt. I thought it was just a bump in the road. Boy was I wrong. He loves his kids and so do I. BIG MISTAKE! I guess I should hate them. They're told everything about me and to hate me not only from their mother, who is married again the day she got divorce papers, but HIS mother.
He's in college again, which we're paying for. Not his mother. Yet she said we better remember them and put money away now to pay for them. Umm. She told them, mind you they're now 4 and 2, that it's our responsiblity to get them a car and pay their car insurance. Their mother tells them things like we can't afford this or that because your father doesn't care enough and doesn't give us enough money. I pay the child support because he can't afford it with her other bills.
Ok skipping passed so many things they've both said and done. The older one told me that he wanted me to see his room. Now in my mind, if I had kids and someone loved my kids and my kids loved them it's great. But because of so many things said to me and them I said I'd love to, ask your mommy first ok because I wouldn't want unexpected visitors. He told me that she said I couldn't see his room or he would never see her or his brother again. WTH?
He also has a slight stutter, at four, very common. He was told, and I was told, by bf mother that I caused the stutter.
He lied to you about being
He lied to you about being married and about having kids? What more do you need to know? You are wrong, you don't need to walk away - you need to run away - now.
No guy is worth this crap AND
No guy is worth this crap AND paying for all his obligations as well? Sounds like he was looking for a sugar mama.
I think you're right really,
I think you're right really, absolutely. I think really I need to follow my own advice and think about me, I think maybe Im too wrapped up in protecting the underdog, if that makes sense. And I think I needed to know I'm not being selfish in that.
The lies to me are bad enough and I should know that. Then I see how much he loves his kids and I get sucked in to that, but at what cost? It would take pages to say what I've been through.
Why the hell are you paying
Why the hell are you paying CS. Huge red flag...
There is so much I swear it
There is so much I swear it sounds made up. before we met his parents never had anything to do with him and never met his kids. He told me that and I thought, no way. I never had a family but it's really important to me, it's everthing. I didn't understand and my fault really that I pushed him to have a relationship with his parents. He told me that were horrible. Then I met his parents and said something about the kids and they confirmed they never saw them. The only thing his mother hated more was me.
I'm NOT playing the race or bigot card here I'm really not.
I'm Italian, she's not. I've been told by her Im greasy, dont lean on my furniture, I know you only like lasagne, your people, I can't believe my son brought one home, You name it I've heard it. In the meantime he's growing a relationship with his father that he never had before. I get that, I do, and it's great. But what about me ? He kept saying oh just ignore her, she's horrible ,really?
This is how far it's gone to blame me, and only one example in less than a year. The four year old got in the car, unmonitored by the mother, put it in gear and rolled backwards into a neighbors fence, she wanted called and wanted him to pay the damage because it was somehow my fault. His own mother also blamed me! I went ballistic and said take me to court. It didn't get there, and she paid for the fence, but wth?
Right? Don't mistake my
Right? Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. Thankfully no one was hurt, it was just a fence with a car not running. Yes a child was behind the wheel and unattended, but before I was blamed, omg, I thought ok not great but mom with two little ones. Shit happens.
Next thing I knew it was somehow my fault. Seriously?
Sometimes normal people meet
Sometimes normal people meet crazy people and don't recognize the crazy. Gradually the crazy gets bigger and bigger and the normal person doesn't notice because it's gradual.
But you noticed now from writing your summary. It's nuts. The crazy people are making you crazy too.
You need NONE of these people cluttering up your life, taking your time and money, leeching away your future.
You can leave and when you look back in a year or two, it'll just seem like a really trippy dream you had one time.
I did need to get it off my
I did need to get it off my chest because of what I went through. I thought maybe my experience might help someone, I see now that no one wants to read anymore, thanks.
Wow. You were seeing this guy
Wow. You were seeing this guy for six months before he told you he has kids? You don't really need us to tell you this relationship can't go on, do you?
It's not like he forgot to mention that he doesn't really like big dogs or pistachio ice cream. HE DIDN'T TELL YOU HE'S GOT KIDS! This may be the worst thing I've ever read on this site.
Ok that was funny. Doesn't
Ok that was funny. Doesn't like big dogs or pistachio ice cream. There's humor to be seen everywhere if you look to find it, laughing is better than crying.
Oh I don't refuse to believe
Oh I don't refuse to believe someone when they show me who they are. Why do others is the question
Ok . I vent where it should
Ok . I vent where it should be safe and I'm still insulted. Got it.
Huh? Who insulted you? There
Huh? Who insulted you?
There might be some strident responses here but nobody is insulting you. They are providing the advice you asked for. Maybe not what you wanted to hear?
Really? No one wants to hear
Really? No one wants to hear anymore, crazier than both put together. How is that advice? Or even listening? And please, how is no one wants to hear anymore or crazier the advice I asked for? I wasn't even asking for advise, I was venting. Please tell me where someone else was venting and told, no one wants to hear anymore, or youre crazier than..
Yeah I get he's an ahole, but being able to vent about it without being told no one wants to hear it, or I'm crazy, or now you would have been Appreciated.
Not all kindness and light,
Not all kindness and light, but all ignorance and anger then yes please go elsewhere.
I see that you haven't though. Or any of you. No replies in a sd thread?
And you've changed your
And you've changed your poster name a couple of times now, but you always show as, the girlfriend.
If you want to argue so be it, it's not what I was looking for.
Now I'm offended! Actually,
Now I'm offended!
Actually, I'm very confused.
Lol, I don't think you're
Lol, I don't think you're drunk, but I may be a little bit. I definitely would be after two margaritas though! They sound very yummy!
Love this reply.
Ignorance? You're paying a
Ignorance?
You're paying a man's child support. A man who lied to you about being a dad and having a wife. Instead of running, you stay and allow him to treat you like a walking ATM that he gets to have sex with. Ignorance
No are you? This is a support
No are you? This is a support forum, not an attack forum.
I'm not looking for advise,
I'm not looking for advise, just telling my story thanks. And I apreciated all the replies. I didn't however appreciate, no one wants to hear anymore, I'm crazy, I'm drunk.
No one has been unkind to me? Read again. Then see if those people, or you, replied to anyone else. This must be the biggest thread.
Not a bored frustrated how
Not a bored frustrated how like obliviously you all are.
Good luck to those wanting to vent and talk. This isn't the place.
Have fun together.
DECAF?!?!?!
DECAF?!?!?! ~thud~
Whwha...wha...what happened? Did I pass out?? Everything's blurry... OMG, dtzyblnd drinks DECAF!! ~thud~
I saw it on the national
I saw it on the national news. They said 3 to 5 cups a day might help prevent heart attacks.
In their bodies?
In their bodies?
I started drinking Chai Latte
I started drinking Chai Latte this week. With milk. Moo. But I still start with coffee, Splenda and milk.
Did I miss something? I am up too late.... "Whoops Boo!!" LMAO
~ Moon
Re-read your original post.
Re-read your original post. Not through the tint of your own experience but as a non-involved observer would see it.
Now, can you see how so many people could be baffled by why you tolerate your situation? :? :jawdrop: :sick:
You are paying the CS obligation for a lying, manipulative, POS "man". I use quotes because this POS is no man. A "man" who tolerates his own mother as well as his XW belittling you, and tolerates his own children acting as agents for his toxic X.
A "hard working great guy" does not need you to pay his CS obligation and for sure does not tolerate anyone treating his mate with anything but respect.
Move on and save yourself a life of unnecessary drama. Find a man who adds as much to your life as you do to his without the drama and who does not treat you like a fuck buddy who will pay for his children.
Take care of yourself.