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Ex's fiancée has been arrested and Ex denies why

StressedOutChicky's picture

Soooo, my husbands ex moved to Florida in the summer with their 2 kids. The man she moved there with (he's from Florida) always struck me as shady. From the first time I met him, I knew he wasn't straight up. Over the past couple of years, we've come to find out that he's had 2 - possibly 3- ex wives, 2 bankruptcies, 2 home foreclosures and a multitude of driving infractions for speeding and non compliance as well as a DUI.

My husbands ex was apparently very difficult for him to cut loose - she called his family members daily begging them to get him to go back to her... My husband's family tells me that she is a very needy person who border lines on unstable when upset. She has a terrible problem with admitting that anything is less than perfect... She insists on creating a facade perfection with her family. Even though she's been caught in numerous occasions to be lying to my husband and his siblings & parents - they stay in touch with because of the kids.

Most recently, the ex wife's fiance was arrested. (We monitor the local county website to watch for his antics...) As we read on, it turns out he was arrested for Domestic Violence - literally weeks after moving there! My husband contacted her and she cried at first and said she was stressed out and asked how he found out... Then decided she was going to "explain" the story. She claims the fight was between the fiance and his brother--- she was not involved. The police report reads otherwise.

Does anyone have a clue where to start with mentally enduring this crazy ridiculousness? I'm so furious that we haven't taken the kids back yet & that his family has not called her out on the insanity! they're actually going and visiting soon. Is it me??? Or does this sound Fd up to anyone else too???

StressedOutChicky's picture

It's unbelievable to me. The daughter even admitted that she was there, saw him push her down and get taken away in cuffs. Then he was back 1 week later and her mother made the kids promise not to tell us. The entire family should be on her like white on rice!

Oh then she has the balls to ask for money for school supplies... The bill was for $1100.00 - no receipts. Sounds like bail money to me.

Disneyfan's picture

Husband's family staying in touch with her and visiting is a good thing. Hopefully she will find tbe strength to walk away from the jerk.

StressedOutChicky's picture

Very interesting. The two responses I received were about her finding strength. Does anyone think this woman is a liar, who is teaching her children that the behavior of violence is okay? Letting him back in the house and alone with her kids??? Wow. This woman needs therapy and to stop lying about everything! That is exactly the Poor Her attitude that has her where she is today.

furkidsforme's picture

I agree. And if I were a parent, I would not want my child in a home with domestic violence. It's already proven that boys raised in that environment grow up to abuse, and girls grow up to choose abusers.

It might be grounds to increase your DH's custody, or minimally to require family counseling. The good part of that, is he sounds like the type of douche that would leave her rather than go to counseling.

But hey, at least she called police. Some don't even do that.

StressedOutChicky's picture

Thank you. At least someone can see my point. You are absolutely right; it is a statical fact that kids who see and endure violence are doomed to repeat it, one way or another. To be truthful, I'm so upset with my husband that he didn't push the issue further. The kids are due to be here for the summer (mid June to Aug 1st) and I'm hopeful that his ex doesn't throw a wrench in that... Because will be our opportunity to discuss with them whether or not things have changed with their mother's relationship.
But thank you so much for validating that it's not right.

ChiefGrownup's picture

According to op she has a history of lying that long precedes her relationship with this violent man. I'm with you, op. If those were my kids I would be on the next plane with a regiment of lawyers getting them out of there.

Rags's picture

Time for DH to get his kids and purge this toxic victim from their lives. If they were my kids I would do everything legal and necessary to make that happen.

StressedOutChicky's picture

I just wish this arrest had happened before the attorney battle we fought for her not to go to Florida! The picture painted of that man was a great guy, with a good job, expensive car and loves kids. No issues occurred that we were aware of while they were still in jersey other than the foreclosures, that were actuin Pa.

The ex-wife has been a royal pain in the ass complaining and bad mouthing my husband to his family, sending me text messages saying my husband is selfish and doesn't respect women... It's unbelievable. Everything she complains about - she's actually hiding on her own end. She receives from my husband: $1200.00 per month in child support, all healthcare paid for and 50% of before & aftercare. My husband & I used to buy the kids pretty much whatever they wanted when they were here with us every other wkend. Plus haircuts, clothes, :sneakers - whatever. She never acknowledged any of the over and above... Now that she's down in Florida and not getting the extras, she complains to his family that he doesn't pay anything for his kids. She even telks the kids that she gets nothing. That was confirmed during a holiday visit... The oldest told her aunt that her mother never mentioned receiving child support - ever.

I understand what some of you are saying about an abused woman... But she's got a lot of guts when it comes to standing up for herself and making unjust accusations toward her ex husband - while her current man is the epitome of a loser. And apparently can't provide anything but BS. Im discussing getting them out with my husband. But he thinks we should wait till they come in the summer otherwise she may change her mind about the summer vacation if she thinks we are planning a legal change.