The Skids are moving out!! Yipeeeeeeee....
Haven't posted for a while but thought I'd bring you up to date with how things are going. I've finally found a solution to my SOs kids. I endured them living in my house every other weekend for 2 years but finally had to admit I'd never get used to it. I've always suffered sleep issues and stress in the days building up to them coming round and the weekends they stay only vodka gets me through it 
It's never gone away, I got to the point where I was about to end the relationship for the sake of my sanity.
So SO and I have come up with a solution, he wants a property to invest in. I own the house we live in. He's going to buy a small fixer upper property which he can have a lodger paying the majority of the mortgage. And then he will live at that house every other weekend when he has his kids!! So result!!!! I never have to have his kids in my beautiful house ever again. SO is happy because he's getting a property he can invest in for very little cost and he's happy that I'm happy. The skids will be happy because they get their dad all to themselves to manipulate and play their little tricks on.
This seems such a simple solution which has so many benefits for both of us I can't believe we didn't think of it before. It means I also get to have Saturday nights with the ladies every other weekend when SO is at the other house. My friends are all thrilled with this idea.
Has anyone else ever thought of this solution? I cant tell you what a weight has been lifted from me knowing I can step back from the mess.
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Great plan but I'm a little
Great plan but I'm a little confused. He's going to rent the other property out? But stay there with the kids every other weekend? Maybe it's just me but no way would I pay to rent a house only to be invaded by my landlord and his kids on the weekends. How is that going to work?
He's getting a lodger.
He's getting a lodger. Someone who will pay to rent part of the house. So the lodger will pay very low rent to get a 4 bed house all to themselves for the majority of the month. To rent a 1 bed apartment in this area it costs a minimum of $850 a month. This lodger would pay approximately $550 a month and get a whole house to use when the kids aren't there every other weekend.
People do house shares a lot
People do house shares a lot around here. The mortgage would only be $700 a month and SO can easily afford that if the house is empty. There are lots of foreclosures going for next to nothing so that's the most the mortgage would be, it could be even less.
It would be like having a
It would be like having a roommate that was only around a couple of days a month and brought his kids. I can totally see someone being into this.
Are you ok with him renting to a woman?
Great for you! Bad for the
Great for you! Bad for the lodger.
I can't fathom paying someone to rent a home and then having the landlord and his derelict kids invading my space EOWE. Yuck, yuck, yuck!!
Ah I did think about him
Ah I did think about him renting to a woman....lol. So I've actually found him a lodger who's a friend of mine. He's an IT geek and he likes the idea. He's all about saving money and he quite likes the skids so he's not bothered about them being there.
I keep walking past the skids rooms in my house and fantasizing about the new furniture and colour schemes I'm going to paint them. They're never stepping over my doorstep again!! HEAVENLY!!
Well, if you have found
Well, if you have found someone willing to do it and it will work, great!
I don't get these men, though, who refuse to handle their kids. I would be so embarrassed that my kids were such assholes that I had to buy a whole other house for them to stay EOWE.
It's not *quite* like
It's not *quite* like step-hell. I doubt Daddy is going to accuse the lodger of "not loving" his kids, or assume that the lodger will babysit if he has to work one day!
Especially if the lodger already knows the kids, this could work! I hope your IT friend goes through with this!!
He may not be your "friend"
He may not be your "friend" for long when he finds out all the racket and nastiness associated with the hellions!!
A counselor I went to a
A counselor I went to a loooong time ago suggested this during the height of Chef's Disney Dad days with Prince Hygiene. I hope this solution works out for you.
It didn't for me specifically because Chef couldn't afford to live in a cardboard box let alone buy ANOTHER place to live in after CS was done sodomizing him (he was uber overpaying on purpose to meliorate his GUILT over the breakup).
And I was completely strapped after paying all the bills and the ones his brats ran up after their EVERY weekend entitlement training sessions, errr I mean VISITATION.
I think the lodger will be
I think the lodger will be too busy gaming in his room to care about the kids. They are very early teens so they are not too badly behaved yet. Plus it's up to SO to keep the kids in line so he gets the lodger to help with the mortgage.
SO has seen how much I've struggled /stressed about his kids for the past two years so he understands I gave it a damn good try. I can see when the dust settles that I'd see the kids for special occasions. I think I could handle that, I get on ok with the SD. It's SS that I hate......God it feels GOOD to admit that! :). I can't wait to change that brats room in my house. He's BMs spy and I've come close to telling him what I think of his lies and manipulating so many times.
Interesting thought .....is there a psychological term for SO alienation? Where the stepmom alienates the father against his own kids. Would it be called Child Alienation Syndrome. I might be guilt of that by pointing out all the manipulation/lies and games his kids play on him. And once fathers start to see all the games their little darlings play they can get pretty pissed off with the little cherubs.
tausha, be careful with this
tausha, be careful with this plan! Tax issues galore (for me, anyway!)
I still have a place in
I still have a place in Burnaby.
You get charged a flat 25% tax on (rental) income. You can get an exemption if it is estimated that your expenses outweigh your income, which it probably would do for you in early years because you can claim mortgage interest and upgrades. That way you don't have to ask for the withheld taxes back every year. BUT keep in mind that any loss does NOT carry-over to future years.
And the 25% off the top will apply to your RRSP too.
Oh, and you may only be able to get a conventional mortgage, so 20-25% down. Or possibly have to qualify as a non-resident, not sure on that as I just renewed with the same bank as I wouldn't have qualified without my husband's income.... but I was already sole owner before I met him. And wouldn't have moved overseas to earn diddly without meeting him either
What may be a bigger issue is this - US citizens are required to pay taxes on worldwide income. So I'm not sure if you would have to add your rental income from Canada to your US tax return. And if you DO move back to Canada, you'd definitely have to pay income tax to the US for your Canadian income. I'm not sure how they work it out though, because there are tax treaties to try to avoid double-taxation.
My biggest drama was that I called 500 times and looked at the website 1 million times, but I missed the part where I had to write on yet another special form what my address was when I emigrated (in part because when I left I had no intention to emigrate, that was later decided but applied - taxwise - retroactively). So five years later I got a bill for $3K. (Seriously, a piece of paper with my address. That also appeared on almost every page of my returns. Whatevs.) Fortunately, that one won't apply to you.
ETA: I read the part about you using your parents address. Be careful. Like I said, for me, I intended to be overseas one year only, but then never went back (or at least not yet). If you don't have any tax liability in Canada, they're cool. But CRA is mad-harsh and inflexible. Everyone who works there seems to be pretty nice, but the tax system is fundamentally inaccessible, especially for non-mainstream situations. (Unlike the Netherlands, omg, people here bitch about taxes and I just think - yeah, but it takes 10 minutes and is free and you do it online and the gov't software searches the best way to calculate so you pay as little as possible, and if you make a mistake you can just correct it without huge fines and penalties, and then your tax dollars actually get used to DO stuff to help society as a whole... so stop yer bitchin'!)
This is awesome! Keep us
This is awesome! Keep us posted on how it goes for you!!!
Yes, we've thought of doing this... but we thought of buying a duplex and having SO's parents (who currently live in an apartment), rent one half of the home and SO could keep the other half of the home open for skid visits. The skids have moved out of state however, if they come back, this is what we're doing. I'm no longer okay with having them visit my home and/or come in and out of my life at their mother's discretion. I'd PAY for a monthly rental if that meant that I never had to have the dysfunction in my peaceful home again.
Every other weekend "parenting" is the stupidest idea ever.
It's so great to hear other
It's so great to hear other people have thought about doing this. I really think this is a good solution, SO is excited about buying an investment property. He was worried about buying a place to rent and having it badly treated by renters. But with a house share and SO coming and going he can keep an eye on the house.
The idea of another weekend father renting and having his kids there on alternative weekends would be ideal but might be hard to find. We will only rent to people who work for one of the large corporate companies in our area. Because there is a corporate code of conduct all the employees have to follow and they wouldn't be able to trash the property without damaging their jobs.
As for renting to a woman, she'd have to either old or seriously ugly for me to agree
My husband and I own two
My husband and I own two rental properties already and I'm hoping that we can use one of them for this same purpose one day. Right now we like having the rental income to pay down the mortgages on both of them though.