my SO has 3 addictions and PTSD
I am in my early 20s and my fiance is 10 yrs older than me. We run our own business together. We have a blended family his 3 and my 1 with one together on the way. We have rushed our whole relationship we've only been together a year and a few months. We have been very committed since day one and when he got custody of his kids our commitment strengthened. It's also put a lot more stress on him and since they have been here I've learned the man I wanted to marry is an addict. Him going out for a simple drink results into him being gone for 24hrs. When he drinks he takes molly which is another addiction and when he gets home he goes on the Internet for at least 8 hrs and watches specifically latina anal porn. Which I am not latina and we have never done anal. This has gone on for a total of 7 months. I get worried sick and wind up stating up all night waiting for him to come home because his phone always conveniently dies. In the last 3 months he has slowed down but now it occurs at least once every 2 weeks or once a week. No pregnant woman wants to sit at home wondering where her husband is. When he comes in I can smell the alcohol from feet away. And one time he thought I was sleep and was masturbating with the door open I walked in and he had the finishings all over his bare part. He only does this after the molly and only does the molly after the alcohol and after a long week of stress I guess his ptsd kicks in. I was going to give him an ultimatum today either we get him help or I will not be intimate with him. Idk what to do. Is that right? I'm young and never saw this for myself. I want to get him help because other than that he's the perfect man. What steps should I take he was gone for 24hrs last night. I usually get bashed on here but j keep coming back because some people are really genuine kn here and you guys actually take the time to read and respond.
I would reason that maybe you
I would reason that maybe you get "bashed" is because you are looking for others to tell you what you already know the answer to, BUT since you asked, yes, you should leave.
I feel sorry for your baby.
I feel sorry for your baby. A druggie for a Dad and a Mom that doesn't care enough to kick druggie Dad to the curb, or have the common sense not to get pregnant by druggie Dad to begin with.
Truth is harsh sometimes. You are young and you sound like you've made some horrible choices.
It's not too late to turn it around. Show your baby that you love him/her by making the right choice by NOT being with a drug-addict, mentally ill person.
Okay ill bite. ( If this is
Okay ill bite. ( If this is true) Im so sorry your in this position. Every one here can tell you to leave (and they will) but that is really up to you. If you dont want to leave them get his ass to rehab. As for your ultimatum to not be intiment it sounds like he does fine by himself so I dont think that will work. You need a better ultimatum. After reading your other post it sounds like your SO and SS seems to both have porn issues and bad behavior. Take a deep look at him his life and how he raises his kids and decide if you really want to raise a child with him like this.
her last post was talking
her last post was talking about her SS9 watching raunchy stuff on her 5 year olds tablet. now its her DH doing it with the door open.... ????
The only thing important to
The only thing important to an addict is that next high. Until he is ready for rehab, there is not much you can do except to take care of yourself and your baby.
You can give him an ultimatum (rehab or he's gone) but you must be ready to follow through with it. No amount of talking, logic, crying will make any difference if he's not ready to change.
Thanks @ snoopystep . And yes
Thanks @ snoopystep . And yes ladies Ive made a dumb ass decisions for the second time in my life, Im beating myself up for it and I know this stress is not good on my unborn.I do appreciate the politely put advice. I wont lie I am completely scared to be a single mom of 2. Scared out of mind. I never saw that for myself. Its crying over spilled milk though now. When he sobers up later I will tell him exactly whats on my mind and let him know if he does not seek rehab and counseling he gives me no choice but to take my kids to a stable environment.
Holy Mother F*#@@#$!! I call
Holy Mother F*#@@#$!! I call bulshit! bulshit! bulshit!!
There is NO WAY on God's green earth would you be staying with some perverted asswipe who is 10 years older than you, with 3 kids and is a drug addicted, alcoholic sexual pervert!! Are you for friggin' real???
If you're real - then wake the fuck up, get your shit together, protect your child and get the fuck out of this bulshit relationship!
However! I call TROLL 'cos I can't believe this shit is real.
No one is bashing you young
No one is bashing you young lady. We are all just trying to get through to you and get you to WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!!
So ......... why exactly did you choose to spawn with this POS? :? :jawdrop: :sick:
More importantly why do you tolerate this POS in your life knowing what you know? :O :O :O
Move out, have your child, nail this POS for tons of CS until your child finishes at least one Ph.D and protect yourself and both of your children from this asshole.
:sick: :sick: :sick:
As sick as this POS asshole is by putting him anywhere near your first child you are acting damned near as big a POS as he is.
Grow up and move on before you ruin your children's lives. If you do not wake up soon It may already be too late for you to salvage your own life but do not condemn your children to this bullshit. You know damned full well that even if you filter out the boozing, molly addicted, porn dog behavior that he is far from "the perfect man". He may be less of a POS if you ignore this crap but he is still a POS.
MOVE OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not wait.
Take care of yourself and your children ... PLEASE!!!!!