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worst kid I've ever seen!!!

sleepingaloneinTC's picture

I have a GF that I am living with for six months now she has three kids that have been living with us the whole time and a forth the problem child that recently moved in from his dad's about a month ago. I honestly don't know what to do with this kid and I don't think she does either let's get to the meat of this thing.
First off he's only five years old and he's still in pull ups full time doesn't use the toilet all day doesn't even try. Secondly he's huge and a bully to pretty much everything unfortunate enough to get in his way, like I said five years old weighs over 100 pounds. He eats all day long literally all day. I'm 30 and a pretty tall guy and he eats more than I ever could. He cries about everything all day long every ten seconds he's crying about something so she just gives in to him pretty much all the time.
Before we moved in together he was living with her but her housing situation changed and there became a lot less room so he lived with his father and an older son that does not live with us needless to say I don't think the father could handle him anymore no we're stuck with him. Anyway before I was in the picture and he was living with her they would sleep in bed together EVERY night. Now that I'm here I refuse to sleep in bed with someone else's children especially a gigantic five year old that's covered in shit all day. So now most nights actually pretty much every night around 1 or 2 when he starts crying like he always does she gets up and goes and lays with him until morning.
I don't believe anything she's doing to raise this kid is correct, I believe he has some serious attachment issues he can't be away from her for more that 2 seconds. If we ever want to do anything without him one of the other kids has to keep him busy while we try to sneak away or else he'll throw a huge fit and will still break things when he finds out she's gone. This kid is becoming the bane of my existence there is more but reliving these horror stories already has me contemplating suicide her other kids are nothing like this I just don't get it. Honestly worst kid I have ever seen.

Stepintime0111's picture

Is the kid just a brat or does he have any issues? Not being potty trained at 5 is odd for a typical child.

amber3902's picture

"I honestly don't know what to do with this kid and I don't think she does either"

BINGO.

Honestly, I'm sure you love your GF and think she's a great person, but it sounds like she does not have her life together.

She has four children, one of which had to go live with his dad because the mom's "housing situation". Not that there's anything wrong with having four children, but it sounds like she is not able to care for them properly if she is unable to house all of them, potty train and provide appropriate food so they're not 100 pounds over weight.

You don't mention how long the five year old was living with his dad, but a five year old doesn't become 100 pounds overweight overnight. And how long has mother had her son back now? Long enough to address these issues? If the boy has medical issues, mom needs to get these things checked out. But has mom done anything to help her son with his potty training and weight issues? What is mom doing about his attachment issues other than give in all the time?

"I don't believe anything she's doing to raise this kid is correct," and you would be right. There's no reason to consider suicide, I hope that was just frustration and you really aren't serious about that. But if you are feeling that horrible about the situation then maybe you need to rethink this relationship.

Indigo's picture

Find the door. Do not wait. I'll bet that you do love your GF, or rather you love the idea of your GF, you love the fantasy of the woman that you think GF is .... She's not a good choice IRL.

What? 5 kids? She is flatout not a decent Mom. She sucks. That boy needs to see a pediatrician 'cuz it sure sounds abusive to me (weight, eating disorder, lack of potty-training, etc)

Run. Never look back but imagine the freedom.

sleepingaloneinTC's picture

First I'd like to thank everyone for their comments and support. I guess I'd like to clarify a few things and answer some questions. The suicide thing was just me venting and expressing my level of frustration not something I'd actually do but I'm sure more than a few of us has been felt like we've been put in a corner or on the back burner ect.
Just to clarify the child is 109 lbs or so not 100 lbs over weight but that's still way to heavy for a child that age. As far as having any issues medically not feeling full I can't really answer too that I've never been to see his doctor with the mother but as far as I know he hasn't been diagnosed with any such condition. I really think all the eating is just like the sleeping situation and the diaper changing it's just another way for him to get all of mommies attention. And no there isn't anything wrong with him mentally he's just a brat and at this point I'm pretty sure on some level he knows what he's doing. I know it sounds ridiculous to have animosity towards a five year old and I really try not to but I swear sometimes it just seems so obvious that he knows what he's doing. Every five seconds it's just "mom" "mom" "mom". He's such a "handful" as she puts it that she even has panic attacks sometimes cause he's to much to deal with.
this past summer she had to move from one place to another unfortunately smaller place because the father is a peice of shit and doesn't provide any support whatsoever so the five year old stayed with him for about six months from june until about a month ago but it was really his parents and an older son (also no longer staying there) that watched hom since dad is an alcoholic/drug addict but thats a whole other can of worms.
really at this point I feel like my GF has just given up on this kid there is really not even any attempt at potty training any more and his behavoir otherwise is just disrespectful and utterly embarrassing.
I think getting out is definitely the right move for me but it's still not an easy thing to do since the other kids are nothing like this and I've taken an active role in their lives since we've been together also I really do love my GF and feel her frustrations with the youngest one but at some point I guess there's only so much a person can put up with especially when she's not even trying anymore with this one.
thank you everyone for your input very much appreciated.

onthefence2's picture

Is the child in day care? I'm guessing he hasn't started K yet, because the diaper would be a HUGE issue. I agree with others that you need to get out of this mess. You can be a shoulder to lean on from a distance if you so desire, but she needs to get him help. The fact that she hasn't is a HUGE warning flag to you. She might want to keep him dependent on her, which SHE needs to get help for. It sounds like she is infantilizing her "baby."

amber3902's picture

So dad/grandparents had the 5 year old all of six months. So it's quite obvious that the weight, potty training and other issues are because of your GF.

It's admirable that you have taken an active role in the other three kids' lives, however, do not feel you are obligated to "white knight" this one. Do not feel guilty about leaving them, you are no different than a teacher that is in a child's life for nine months and then gone. I'm sure the time that you have been in their lives was a good experience for them.

I also see a red flag that dad doesn't pay child support. Now, I am not going to assume that your GF is using you, but subconsciously she may be hoping that since she doesn't get any CS from her children's father that you will pick up the slack. Something else to think about.