Does anyone else deal with no set schedule?? Been 4 years have expressed great dismay on the subject. Bm is around just gets SD whenever suits her or SD. Can never make plans and hubby
dismisses my concerns.
If BM, hubby, and SD are fine with this arrangement then not much can be done. It sucks but that's what works for them. Until either BM or your hubby find it bothersome my only advice would be to make plans knowing they could change at the last minute. You can try to talk to your hubby about how you hate changing plans at the last minute but they've already gotten use to this. How old is your SD?
She is 13 now. Lives here primarily basically makes HER schedule and we revolve around. Does not even know where she will be tonight till she gets home from school and talks to her mom or grandmaw or even better no show and got to track her down. My DH lets this happen daily. About done with this shipwreck
Key word works for them. Not me. Bm goes to rehab a lot. Needs a schedule with supervision but my DH is paralyzed with doing nothing never wants to stir the pot. No rules no consequences is crazy
I am a BM in a situation where my ex does not follow any schedule, picks up the boys without any regard to their plans or our plans as a family. It works well for him and his NPD wife, my sons' SM, who dump them unceremoniously if something better comes along, and does not work at all for me and my DH. We have been left to pick up the pieces way too many times.
The best thing is, we have come to the conclusion that we are living our lives as if my ex did not exist. Since we are not afforded the courtesy of consultation, we do not extend it either. We make our own plans and go ahead with them; if we want to take the kids out of town, we buy tickets and go. If we celebrate a holiday he wants them for, we pretty much tell him to f***off. Being taken advantage of is tiring, and
since we have custody we call the shots. My older son has just turned 18, and all of this nonsense will soon be in the past. Can hardly wait.
I feel for you, your frustration is very real and completely valid. Do not count on the other parent at all. Live your life would be my advice.
If BM, hubby, and SD are fine
If BM, hubby, and SD are fine with this arrangement then not much can be done. It sucks but that's what works for them. Until either BM or your hubby find it bothersome my only advice would be to make plans knowing they could change at the last minute. You can try to talk to your hubby about how you hate changing plans at the last minute but they've already gotten use to this. How old is your SD?
She is 13 now. Lives here
She is 13 now. Lives here primarily basically makes HER schedule and we revolve around. Does not even know where she will be tonight till she gets home from school and talks to her mom or grandmaw or even better no show and got to track her down. My DH lets this happen daily. About done with this shipwreck
Key word works for them. Not
Key word works for them. Not me. Bm goes to rehab a lot. Needs a schedule with supervision but my DH is paralyzed with doing nothing never wants to stir the pot. No rules no consequences is crazy
I am a BM in a situation
I am a BM in a situation where my ex does not follow any schedule, picks up the boys without any regard to their plans or our plans as a family. It works well for him and his NPD wife, my sons' SM, who dump them unceremoniously if something better comes along, and does not work at all for me and my DH. We have been left to pick up the pieces way too many times.
The best thing is, we have come to the conclusion that we are living our lives as if my ex did not exist. Since we are not afforded the courtesy of consultation, we do not extend it either. We make our own plans and go ahead with them; if we want to take the kids out of town, we buy tickets and go. If we celebrate a holiday he wants them for, we pretty much tell him to f***off. Being taken advantage of is tiring, and
since we have custody we call the shots. My older son has just turned 18, and all of this nonsense will soon be in the past. Can hardly wait.
I feel for you, your frustration is very real and completely valid. Do not count on the other parent at all. Live your life would be my advice.