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Will he ever get it?

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

DH is trying to talk me into going to HHB's color guard competition tommorow! It's 60 miles away, costs $10 PER PERSON to get in, and he thinks I want to waste my time and money on someone who has ZERO respect for me? How many times do I need to tell DH that I'm done with the girl? I don't want to see her, and I surely am not about to waste a good chunk of my day to go see her perform! I could care less if she gets mad at me for not going! Yes, she will have the nerve to be pissed at me if I don't go. Remember...EVERYONE has to stop and be at any and all of her performances...doesn't matter if she likes you or not!

And supposedly the girls from the color guard here posted a bunch of nasty comments on HHB's Instagram posts...at least that is what she is telling HHB. Really? DH really believes that those girls care enough to take the time to harass HHB on her social media? DH say HHBwas saying they were mad at her for leaving. She thinks she is that important? The team got third in state last year without her (as she was off the team for her tantrum where she quit for like 2 weeks)! As much drama as HHB was causing, I'm sure they were more than relieved that she was gone! If you ask me, I'm willing to bet that it was HHB who was trying to be all big shot that she is "so awesome" she made varsity guard at a big school, and they told her to shut up and go away!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Screw excuses! The girl moved out of my house after spending two years treating me like crap and causing problems between me and my husband! If he wants to go see her...go for it! The girl is nothing but trouble, and I gladly was my hands of her! Sooner DH grasps hold of that, the better!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I told him flat out I not going! Supposedly, she has a free weekend next weekend. I'm praying she finds another excuse to not come over! I hope HHB's girlfriend goes to the competition, and they totally irk DH with holding hands and being all cuddly!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

HHBis saying it is the girls from her old color guard talking crap on her social media...not the one she is currently on. That's why I say...I'm pretty sure those girls have better things to do than harass HHB on social media, and they were probably doing their happy dance when she left. HHB changed schools when she moved out of here. HHB was obviously the center of all the color guard drama at the school she went to while she lived with us...and she wants DH to believe they are still trying to bully her.

twoviewpoints's picture

Meh, there might be a few tossing some sticks and stones at SD. Who started it and who is egging it on is probably the real question. Your SD seems to find 'trouble' wherever she goes and whatever she does...guess she's just talented in the stirring shit department Biggrin

Poor Little Victim (very likely of her own causing)can always delete her account and report cyber bullying to her coach/school (unless of course it's she who stirred the shit). I'm not saying that type of bullying doesn't exist , because it does. However your SD is such a drama master that it's hard not to think of her as the little girl who cries wolf. I thought her BM/SF were not allowing her to participate in guard at her new school this season because they might be moving? Too bad BM didn't follow through with that, it might have been a much needed ego deflator.

You need to tell DH when he brings up these ideas of you attending SD events that you've really just had enough of all the SD drama for a while and it's a subject you won't entertain. You need time to let the past couple years detox from your mind and home.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh, I'm certain HHB is storing that pot!!! She tends to talk a lot of crap about people. I'm pretty sure there were jabs at the old squad...tge new squad is in a higher division, so I'm sure she is rubbing it in. She also gets to be on saber, which the old coach told her no...show I'm sure she is rubbing it in that she got her way!

Yeah, I was a bit disappointed that things worked out so that HHB could stay in guard! They haven't moved yet, but BM's friend has already stepped up and said see would take "educational guardianship" so that HHB could use her address for school, and stay on this new squad! Yeah, let's break more rules so HHB gets what she wants! Yes, it is breaking rules, because they are lying saying HHB lives with the friend when she will really be living out of district!

One of my friends posted something to their Facebook today I may just have to share on my page: "A child who is allowed to disrespect their parents will not have true respect for anyone!" Truth!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

We don't "want" to be around them! They get forced on us! And you can't always use the "you knew what you were getting into" line. When DH and I got involved, HHB wasn't even walking. My ex was hardly ever in the picture, and the way DH helped parent my bios, I expected the same when it came to HHB. Boy, I was wrong!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh...I know! But you know how it goes...had to ward off those "you knew what you were getting into" remarks. Wink

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh...I'm sure of it! Waiting for her to get busted for pot or something! That will be a grand day!

Was talking with one of my friends at church today. Before HHB moved out, this lady was one of the ones HHB would act all sweet and friendly with, and unload all of her drama on. This woman is a sweet lady...suffers from MS. She had given HHB her phone number, in case she ever "needed to talk". She was telling me today that a few weeks ago, she texted HHB just to tell her that she had missed her...that was it! My friend didn't know anything outside of HHB had moved back to BM's...she knew nothing of why or the trouble HHB has been in. My friend said that HHB didn't respond back to her right away, but when she finally did, she was rather snarky and rude! I then explained to my friend what was going on...not all the details, but that there was an episode...some trouble and a lie involved (again, kept it cryptic), and that DH had to lay down the law and I backed him. This resulted in HHB not liking our punishment, and deciding on her own to move back with her mother. My friend just said how sad that was, and that she was worried HHB would only get in more trouble at BM's. I just found myself thinking, "Your feeling is right...if you only knew the half of it!"

txcuti133's picture

Well, I hope at some point she learns that she will not always be number one. Plus, being a leader does not always entail you being in control of a whole group of people. At some point soon, the new guard will get sick of her always prancing around acting like a know it all. How was she able to try out for Winterguard without being enrolled? Does this new school actually check the progress reports and or report cards to ensure that she would be eligible to participate in the season? I know at my old high school if you were not passing anything you lost your spot in the show until you brought it back up, or someone else got it for the remainder of the season.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I don't know why they let her try out befor she was actually enrolled. Probably they figured she "just moved" to the district, and the school office wasn't open for 2 more days (winter break), so let her try out, and if she didn't follow through with enrollment, move up the next person from JV. HHB managed to barely pass last semester, so when they got her grades, she was good.

If she makes it until officer tryouts, I can easily see her making enemies...quick! She is so full of herself, she is determined to be squad captain! That means she starts rumors about contenders, and plays victim that they bully her or are out to get her! Drama has always followed her, so it is just a matter of time before there is drama with this new squad!

One thing...DH had some pictures of Saturday's competition sent to him by BM's friend. Oh my...HHB appears to be past her eating disorders! Girl has gained some weight in the last month! But, BM is known for having tons of junk food in the house, and we know how HHB loves her junk food! I'm pretty sure dinner is fast food most nights (at BM's request), and there is plenty of access to sodas, cookies, chips...all the stuff I don't buy because we are about clean eating in this house!!! Just tonight, DH and I enjoyed some nice grilled bison steaks with organic veggies! Would have never fixed that with HHB around! At $10/lb for the meat? Yeah, no way...she would have thrown $5 worth of bison in the trash! We had lots of chicken when she lived here...even organic, it is still cheaper than organic beef or bison.

Rags's picture

Absolutely true.

I went to two different schools in 8th grad, two different schools in 9th grade, and two different schools for the rest of HS. Each change I reinvented myself socially, academically, athletically, etc….. I went from middle of the pack at the first school in 8th grade to the pinnacle social at the second school in 8th grade. In the 9th grade change in schools my status was lateral though the second school was much larger. I stayed in the pinnacle group but not at the core of it. My first HS was amazing and I was able to start in the popular group but the change to my last HS locked me in to the peak social, academic, athletic, etc… group.

Change can be a very good thing. It always has been for me.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I guess I was one of those different kids. I was into the punk/new wave scene, and I didn't change for anyone! I spent from 6th grade to 10th in a backwoods hick school (trucks, roper boots, half the guys dippin'). I stayed just who I was! I didn't care to be popular, but I guess I'm strange like that. I'm a bit of an introvert, so it didn't bother me. I was part of a small group, and we called ourselves the school misfits. Why? Because we were nothing like each other, but we didn't fit in anywhere else. The 8 of us got along great! My heart nearly stopped with a new guy started, and he was also punk/new wave! We quickly took him into our group, and I finally had someone to share music interests with...LOL.

My parents moved and I went to a school in the city for 11th and 12th. This was amazing for me, but mainly because at this new school, there was a group I actually fit into...there were more like me! We still were not the popular kids, but we didn't care. We had our common interests, and we were fine with that.

HHB was in the middle of all kinds of drama that she started when she was in 8th grade before she moved in with us. She moved in with us, and rode the coat-tails of BS20, who WAS actually one of the popular kids. He was popular because, well, he was one of the stars on the football team AND he is just a genuinely nice guy. Most of the kids at the school here are what you call "kickers"...we are out in the country, so you can guess what they are into (boots, country music, trucks). BS20 is definitely "countrified". HHB tried to reinvent herself from "scene kid" to "countrified" and use being BS20's little sister as a mean to win friends and influence people. It kinda worked for 9th grade, though the drama was already brewing in color guard because HHB treats people like crap! And that is just it...she treated everyone so badly, that after BS20 graduated, no one felt the need to be nice to her anymore. We are in a small town...that is the way they are...they weren't going to turn on BS20 because they genuinely liked him, and they pretty much put up with HHB as long as he was around not wanting to offend him by shunning his sister. But once he was gone, she tried to be all high and mighty (still trying to use that "I'm _____'s little sister" thing to her advantage), and people turned on her! I KNEW that would happen when he graduated! Yes, she is at a new school now, and things are great and amazing! She has a new girlfriend (which goes to a different school, so I'm sure she hasn't revealed to anyone she is bisexual). She has a new color guard squad. New teachers. She is back to being a "scene kid", and has dumped the country music and all that she was into here to try to make everyone like her. She hasn't learned how to treat people, however. So, it is just a matter of time before people start to turn on her. She is more concerned about being "top of the food chain" and not really concerned about being a good human being!

Rags's picture

Oh, I did not change I just stepped up my game. I became a leader rather than a go with the flow person. Fundamentally I made no changes I just chose to perform to my potential rather than to my comfort level. My increasing success was based on being a good person and not climbing over, on, or running through anyone else.

People like HHB get theirs eventually and when it happens it will be extremely unpleasant for her.