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What game are you playing

momof4plus2's picture

My SS13 never acknowledges my 10 month baby like doesn't say hi or ask to hold him will walk right by like he isn't even there. ok whatever. When is dad is around or he is all over my LO like in his face can I hold him. Its really weird makes me nervous like get off my baby. I've mentioned it to my SO but of course he doesn't see it. Like why would I lie about it.

Glenda's picture

That doesnt surprize me. He wants to seem like the perfect child, a loving child, a considerate child, to his father. In the eyes of his father, he is just that. He really doesnt care about the baby. You are the only one who sees it. Have you ever thought of asking the SS13 why his behavior changes? Or maybe it is good just to monitor SS's behavior when around your child anyway.

I want to have a child, but my mother warned me that if I do, not to get too comfortable with the idea that the baby is safe around my SS, especially when you feel the Ss13 is putting on an act. That is shameful, but SS13 is no longer #1 in the kid dept. Who wants to share the love from dad?

He is still young, so maybe he will grow to see his sibling as someone he can be proud of and protect. Encourage him to see the child as someone who will look up to him, someone who has a blood connection to him. Tell him the baby is fortunate to have a sibling who will share experiences blah blah blah. Just a positive spin on it, because after all, a baby is a positive thing.

I would be so frustrated, and a pinch fearful about how he is around the baby. He is seeing the baby as a tool to manipulate his father into thinking he is the best son in the world! "Oh look, how sweet is my 13yr old boy. He is caring, and not at all jealous like we feared. You know why? Because he is such a good kid"

You dont want it to turn out that he will cause injury to the baby because his father will see it as an "accident".

Disneyfan's picture

Maybe he feels more comfortable interacting with the baby when his dad is around.

momof4plus2's picture

Glena that is exactly how I see it. I was very worried when I was pg that my bio kids would be jealous or dislike the baby but it has turned out opposite they are so protective and adore him. it worries me with SS because I see the way he treats his 7yr old bother my other SS and its not very nice. usually when his dad isn't around. I thought it could be he is more comfortable with his dad around but it doesn't matter if im in the room or not. Its just a sneaky manipulative feeling I get like he feels like he is getting something over on me.