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BM's boyfriend at skid exchange

Somuchdrama's picture

BM likes to bring her boyfriend to the skid exchange (when he is in town). I don't know why, I guess she thinks it will make DH jealous?

I don't attend because I'd rather not see the troll. So I know it's not because DH brings his wife.

It just makes her look pathetic. Last year the same boyfriend dumped her for a younger woman. Guess things didn't work out!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Personally, as long as the boyfriend isn't trying to start crap, I don't see a problem with it. If it were a different guy every other exchange or something like that...yeah, then I would have a problem. DH and I have been together 14 years...married 12 of those. There were many times that I would be with DH when he went to go drop off or pick up SheSloth...and when my ex was still in the picture, he would be with me when I did pick ups (of course, in my case, I didn't want to do it alone with my ex being a lose cannon, and his history of abuse with me). In the same token, there were many times that BM's guy of the time was there when pickups or drop offs happened.

These days, BM finally settled down to one guy and remarried...and he is usually at home. The pickups and drop offs usually happen with DH and the stepdad barely saying a word to each other (that is, whenever SheSloth gets around to going to BM's). I prefer not to go to dropoffs and pickups, but that is usually because I sit out in the car (I can't stand BM and her whiny voice...almost as bad as SheSloth's singing...and I get stressed watching their son running around the house beating up the dog and destroying things) and it usually seems to take forever for the exchange to happen! Either DH goes in to tell BM one little thing, and she starts unloading her life problems on him, or SheSloth isn't ready, and since she simply can't go out of the house without makeup and such on, we sit there waiting for her to slowly gather her things (though she was called an hour before we got there and was told we were on our way), take a shower, put on makeup...just to go home! So yeah...just leave me sitting at home! At least then I can watch something that has been DVR'd that only I want to watch or something like that!

Somuchdrama's picture

It's high conflict and the same guy is also the affair partner. Maybe I read to much into it, but she was always trying to tell DH that she had also "moved on" when we got married.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Would have to agree with tog. The guy SheSloth's BM is married to now is the same guy she cheated on DH with. They dated in high school. DH met BM after high school, they started dating, she ended up pregnant, he tried to do the right thing and married her. A few months after the baby was born, BM had reconnected with her old high school flame, and they were getting it on! Within weeks of kicking DH to the curb, she moved her high school flame into her parents' house with her and SheSloth. Over the years, she cheated on him, too. She was quite the partier in those days. After BM's sister died, she went into a state of depression, finally married her high school flame, and they had a kid. BM is now as big as a house and does nothing to care for herself. Dude really thought that he was getting himself a prize, and she more than let herself go!

My ex also cheated on me, and after we separated, he went straight to the woman he cheated on me with. Yeah, he would often bring her around to exchanges as if to rub it in my face. I just looked at her with pitty, because I knew the creep she was with, and knew he wasn't any real prize. Your DH may be looking at BM's boyfriend the same way...LOL.

Disneyfan's picture

It may be the boyfriend who insists on going to the exchanges because he's insecure about dad.

Rags's picture

I don't have an issue with this. BM's partner is accompanying her for pick up and drop off. No issue.

You and DH have a prime opportunity to step up your game however. Go with DH on pick up and drop off. Look good, be happy, and rub BM's nose in it. Living well and being happy is the best revenge against a toxic X.

My XW is on DH #3 with 3 all out of wedlock spawn and a $multi million fraud settlement against her and her family. My promotions are published in her hometown newspaper as was the announcement of the 20th anniversary vow renewal celebration of my bride and I including an amazing picture of my bride. }:)

MissElphaba's picture

I don't care... the seahag has new boyfriends all the time - one of the great lessons she's teaching miniseahag is that it's ok to be with whomever you want, whenever you want - regardless of commitment/marriage etc...

I don't go to exchanges since SH decided she had the right to barge into my home AFTER the exchange was already completed...while MSH and SO were in the living room and I was giving my newborn a bath. She was instructed to stay off our property and that exchanges would now have to be in public. I don't go because I don't really want to see her, SO doesn't care if she has some guy in the car...for a while she was under the impression that SO would want to intimidate the person she was dating, but that seems to have passed. Who knows.

Disneyfan's picture

If you are truly over a person, you don't give a damn what they think about you. You don't give a rat's ass about their relationships, their careers. ...

If you take extra care to look good when you know the ex will be around or you want to make sure that person knows how great your life is, then you must value that person's opinion. If you want an ex (or your SO's ex)tobe jealous/envious of you or your lifestyle, then you are way too invested in that person.

hereiam's picture

Unless the boyfriend is trying to "throw down" with your DH during the exchange, who cares?

I never wanted anything to do with BM and did not go with DH during pick ups or drops offs for the first several years because BM was so high conflict.

But eventually, if we had things to do before or after, I went with him, stayed in the car, and minded my own business. No big deal.

There is the possibility that she has told her boyfriend horror stories about your DH and he thinks he is protecting her. That's what BM over here did.