For some children, I think the 7 day on/off may work, giving them time to settle in a household. If rules, expectations, activities are similar between households I think that it would be easier. Yes, your privacy and current sense of your home will change because you will be constantly gearing up or occupied or winding down. You are not being selfish to try to foresee situations.

Well, someone in your household will have to now take over daily parenting. Someone has to shuttle kids to school, Scouts, soccer, ballet. Someone has to cook every day. Someone has to organize play-dates, volunteer at school, help with homework.

You need to speak with your DH because he has nominated --- perhaps unwittingly --- you for another part-time job. I'm sure that he does not realize that all those extra hours of parenting/care-giving must be paid for by someone. Someone will have that % less time to do whatever they would like to do ... Hate to guess, but you most likely will be the one to inherit the 24/7 unpaid, part-time job.

" Am i now stuck to rush home at a certain hour when my husband cant be there? Is being a step mom to 2 preteens that arnt mine going to change things?"

You're a SM now, even if only having the kids 30% of the time. As to if being one 7dys twice a month verses only 30%, that's up to you. You asked if you need to rush home if DH can't be there on time. No. But you do need to inform your DH what you are willing and unwilling to do and you need to do it before BM//DH get to heavy into the little plans of switching they're lining up.

If he wants to take on his children 50% of the time with 7 on and 7 off, he needs to have his schedule in place to be able to do that on his own. Whether that means afterschool daycare or programs or a neighbor babysitter or perhaps even you...the key is make it plain it will not be YOU on a Monday through Friday. Maybe you're willing to assist by doing it one evening during the school week. Then he needs to figure out his plan for the other early evenings. Maybe you have exercise/gym three evenings a week. You're not to be expected to change that.

He's asking for his children more of the time. If he's serious about it now he will sit down and plan how it will work. Who is going to make the meals every evening those 7 nights? Who is going to wash all those clothes for 7 days? Who is going to be home and there for the kids x amount of time and on what days. If he wants to be a fulltime Daddy than part of that means he must figure out how he is going to work it without thinking he will just dump all that 'mom stuff' off on you.

You won't be telling him he can't go to 50/50 with 7 on and 7 off, but you will be being very upfront about what he can expect of you and what you will not be changing for yourself just because his schedule with the children changes. If you like getting off on say Tuesday afternoon, doing some shopping, then having carry out and coming home to a hot bath and laying down to read for the evening, well then that's what you plain on still doing on Tuesday evenings whether he has his children or not.

You'll also want to set ground household rules and expectations. Seven days there means messy bedrooms that the children will be expected to keep clean. It will mean seven days where the children will be assigned some chores as a means of learning responsibility blah blah blah.

It's not this board you need to tell your concerns to, it's your husband. You need to talk to him now so he knows the extra responsibility of 7 on is on him. If he can not or will not be able to take on the extra days , then he shouldn't be negotiating with BM about changing the schedule.

We do 50/50. SO pays for enough stuff that BM agreed not to file for CS when they divorced, so that's not a factor for us. I'm disengaged, so I don't worry about making SD10 dinner, doing homework, or all those other things that happen during the week. I'll leave it to the other posters to discuss whether and how you should be consulted about this change, and leave it to you to decide whether you want to be disengaged or not. I am chiming in to say this: see if you can get a mid-week break. SD10 gets dropped at school Monday morning by Parent A and picked up Monday afternoon by Parent B, who has her all week until they drop her at school again the following Monday morning. But on Thursday nights, whoever SD is not with for the week, they get her from school Thursday and have her until 9pm that night (so they have dinner together and do homework or whatever). On weeks we have her, that free Thursday night means the WORLD to me. (It does suck on our off-weeks, of course, to have her back Thursday night--I wish I could ever get more than a few days without seeing her.) Anyway--consider lobbying for a mid-week visit if you feel like you'll want a little break.

I personally would not rush home to take care of kids that aren't mine, but that is just me. Maybe there is an after-school program they can be involved in? As others have said, make sure your DH knows just how much you are willing to do. But he is the parent, so he should be taking primary care of *his* kids.

I personally would not rush home to take care of kids that aren't mine, but that is just me. Maybe there is an after-school program they can be involved in? As others have said, make sure your DH knows just how much you are willing to do. But he is the parent, so he should be taking primary care of *his* kids.

Okay so during the school year me and DH have 5/2 and during the summer its 50/50 which is 7 days a week. Im just going to say that 7 days a week is A WHOLE LOT HARDER than 5/2. We hate the summer. I know some may say that 7 days gives the kid more days to settle in but kids don't really settle in. If they are slobs and hard to deal with for the 30% of the time they are over now then it will you'll just be dealing with the same behavior at 50/50. The only reason you should agree to the 50/50 change is if you and your DH are both okay with dedicating more time to their care, if there is a custody modification, and if you aren't getting dumped to take care of the kids especially if they don't like you. A lot of people have posted that just because you change custody, it doesn't mean that there will be a change in the amount you pay her monthly. BM might just be looking for a free babysitter while keeping her monthly paycheck.