A room in your house for EOW skid
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I don't post a lot. Nor do I reply to posts.
My apologies... but reading certainly does help. And I thank you all. My rant for the day...
My SD13 went from being with us 90% of the time to 10%.
She had been going to school in the district where my DF lived for the past 6 years...
And then we moved and BM put up a big stink about it. So now shes going to school in BM's district (which SUCKS compared to ours).
Is it wrong of me to resent keeping a room for her? She's only there 2 days every other week. When she is there, it's a pigsty.
I wish I could turn it into an office and make her sleep on the couch... Anyone else have this?
That may be a good idea. I
That may be a good idea. I was being more facetious than anything.
It may be a better idea because she barely respects the space she has.
I like futons. You can make
I like futons. You can make an office/guest room with a futon in it. 90% of the time it is merely a couch.
We have a spare room (that I
We have a spare room (that I decorated as a spare room but cute for a girl) that we called SD's room, but we used it whenever we wanted when she was not there. It was not HER room in the sense that she could tack up posters on the walls nor did it have princess furniture or crap like that but it was hers when she was there (EOWE).
She knew it was to be cleaned before she left, to look like it was when she arrived.
If you made the room an office, is there room for a futon or something that she could sleep on when she's there?
My stepbrothers slept on the
My stepbrothers slept on the sofa bed in the family room when they came over. They certainly didn't have their own room.
You gotta love some of these
You gotta love some of these BMs! When DH and I first married, I had a 3-bedroom house. BM got all bent out of shape because SheSloth didn't have her own room when she came over...she had to share with my BD (I also have a BS). So, when we sold that house and got a new one, we had to get a 4-bedroom and set a room up specifically for her. At the time, SheSloth MAY have come to our house once a month...and like you, when she wasn't there her room was a sty.
Now, that she SheSloth has moved in with us full time, BM and her husband rented out SheSloth's old room to a friend of theirs who also serves as a live-in-babysitter for their kid. Where does SheSloth sleep when she goes over to BM's? The couch!!! Oh...NOW it is okay for the girl to not have her own room at BOTH parents' houses...not even have a bed! BUT, when we put a second bed in my BD's room for SheSloth to sleep on, that wasn't good enough for BM!
F that scenario. Your BM
F that scenario. Your BM sucks.
Add insult to injury? DH had
Add insult to injury? DH had to pay a hefty child support payment for years, on top of us having to maintain a room and clothes at our house for those once a month visits. Now that SheSloth lives with us? DH doesn't pay the support any longer, but BM doesn't pay a cent! And they are even getting extra money off of SheSloth not being their because they rented out her room!
These BMs and their double
These BMs and their double standards...... *shakes head*
Why does mom get the blame
Why does mom get the blame for dad's actions?. Sure, she bitched about the room, but dad is the one who did what she wanted instead of telling her to go jump in a lake
Dad is the one making the choice not to take her to court for CS.
On the room issue...when you
On the room issue...when you have a BM threatening to not allow you to see your kid unless you give the kid her own space...yeah, you kinda have to do what you have to do. The woman already blocked visitation as much as she could...claiming that there were birthday parties SheSloth just had to be at, that SheSloth was not feeling well and shouldn't come over, etc. ALL OF THE TIME!
On the child support issue? This state would NEVER make BM pay DH child support! The woman has chosen not to work...and is now to the point she can't work (has sat on her back side so long, she has gained a massive amount of weight and now has health related issues that are tied to her weight...as well as anxiety issues which make her unable to leave the house). When she was healthy, she manipulated everyone into taking care of her...her parents, guys, etc. She used the child support on herself and not the child...making it so that DH was always having to get things above and beyond the child support...stuff like OTC fever or cold meds that the child support should have covered whenever SheSloth got sick. She even used to send SheSloth to us in clothes that were obviously too small for her, and I swear instructed SheSloth to bring back to her house the clothing we bought for her to wear here, as we would always find stuff shoved in her bag from our house, and the clothing at our house kept disappearing.
When BM got to the point she created a "mini-me", she couldn't handle her any longer, and the girl was sent to us! BM still tries to manipulate things! SheSloth knows that if she doesn't get her way, she can tell BM and BM will call DH to cuss him out. Even worse, SheSloth will call BM FIRST and tell her what it is that she wants or wants to do, and then has BM call and tell DH and try to strong-arm him into allowing it! Like if SheSloth wants to go to a dance at school...she lives at our house, but she will call BM and tells her she wants to go, and them BM calls DH and demands he allow SheSloth to go to the dance...because princess gets what princess wants! Now, it doesn't work that way here! DH has said no to many things even after a huge blow up with BM, but she still does it.
And why hasn't your DH nailed
And why hasn't your DH nailed BM's deadbeat breeding ass to the wall for CS now that he has custody? :? :? :?
Like I said...because it
Like I said...because it would be a butt load in court costs, and he would never see a dime! Our state is one that is known for making dads pay, and being easy on moms. Because BM has not worked in 16 years (and at that, the last job she had was a part-time job scooping poop at a vet clinic just for extra spending money...she was still living with mom and dad at the time), and can now claim physical and mental disability (again...self-inflicted), no court in the land will make her even try to work. No work, no support! Truth is, if DH took it to court, he could actually end up having to still pay her for the weekends she is scheduled to have SheSloth...not that she would actually have the girl, but she would still gladly take the money. It isn't right, but there are many cases where the custodial parent was in a better situation than the non-custodial, and ended up having to pay the non-custodial child support.
If it were some 8 years ago, DH would have had a chance. But since the birth of her son, BM has basically locked herself up in the house, sitting in front of the TV eating junk food all day. This has resulted in her being grossly overweight...which now the doctors have been testing her for diabetes, and she has most recently had to be tested for colon cancer (which can be cased by being morbidly obese and eating nothing but junk food). Also, in the last year, BM has claimed to be too paranoid to leave the house. She can go to her mom's house...and that is about it. Any place where there are people outside of her close family and friends, she claims to freak out and can't handle it. She didn't even make it to her brother's wedding...got all dressed up, got about a mile from the house, and made her ride turn around and take her home because she just couldn't do it! Hard to believe that just 8 years ago, this woman was always out at the clubs and stuff! Ever since her sister died...
My husband will consider me
My husband will consider me to be the most horrible, evil SM if I ever suggest that SD doesn't need a room in our house (she only comes EOWE as well). In our current house, we have the space so it's fine. We'll be moving soon and I don't know what kind of bedroom set up our new house will have. We might have another baby and we also want to hire a live-in nanny at some point. If anyone will be bumped from a room down the road, it'll have to be the one person who only comes 4 days every month. I just know it'll be a fight with my husband if the time comes.
I hope your husband isn't like mine. He often forget that SD already has a perfectly good room at her home.
I WISH BM would take us back
I WISH BM would take us back more custody. If skids went to EOW I would be on the redecoration of both skids rooms in a heartbeat. I really could use an office!
Office with a trundle/day bed
Office with a trundle/day bed or a futon. Or ... an inflatable aerobed where ever you feel like putting it.
Spawn or not a periodic visitor gets what will work for the permanent residents of the home.
we have a spare room that
we have a spare room that SD14 uses and so does anyone else who comes to visit. she has a closet and bureau that are exclusively hers, but she rarely leaves anything, and she is supposed to sleep over one night EOW but that rarely happens.
i always make sure MY guests have clean sheets and told fiance if he wants SD to have clean sheets he needs to wash adn change them before her visit, as i do for my company. he never does. but SD rarely washes her PJ's, so sleeping in a bed that my mom slept in one or two nights with dirty PJ's is no big deal.
and yet again Calypso, we are
and yet again Calypso, we are twins.
Just now, I'm doing laundry for our upcoming Xmas guests in what I call the 'guest room'. Have no clue when they were last done... probably last time my gf came. She lives far and we drink too much wine, so she always sleeps here.
I won't do laundry for SD either. She has a drawer should she choose to use it, and some toiletries in the guest bath.
I can relate! We recently
I can relate! We recently moved and the plan was for SD13 to live with us most of the time due to a better school district! Well she lashed out and BM is letting her go to the crappy high school and she hasn't spent a night at our house in over 2 months! This is after I just $1500 on new furniture, mattress, bedding etc for her room! Now it just sits there unused! I told my husband if it doesn't change soon I"m turning it into a guest room/office. THat way she has a place to sleep, etc but its not HER room!
i hit send too soon... It is
i hit send too soon...
It is decorated the exact way I would have done it had it only been used by guests. It is clean when she leaves, but have on occasion seen DH making the bed after she has gone.
The bathroom is the same way, her stuff is under the counter and out of sight.
She has only slept here 2x this WHOLE year.
in true ass kissing fashion
in true ass kissing fashion the 3 time she has slept over this entire year have been since september. because September to December is "gift season" with xmas and birthday.
my fiance does make her pick up and he cleans the bathroom after she's been there. thank goodness he's a neat freak like me (probably moreso!).
LOL! November is bday
LOL!
November is bday here...Last time we saw her, never mind sleep over. Took her present, and "poof!"
Great for me, sad for him. He excuses it, "I knew this would happen when she became a teen. She wants to spend time with her friends."
OK dude, just reward her for disrespectful behaviour. Now for Xmas the gift is also extravagant... but cultural, so you see, 'good for her." :sick: I have not spent a dime.