BM trashing and lying about us on social media.
SD12 has a facbook page now. DH and I check it occasionally to make sure she isn't talking to anyone she shouldn't be. I personally think she is too young for Facebook but it was a decision on BM and DHs part. She left it open to post her mother put on there and I know I shouldn't have but I looked at BMs facebook page. That woman spends 70 percent of her time on their badmouthing my DH, his family and me. I've never said anything mean to this woman! Not to mention all of the things she posted were highly exaggerated or flat out lies. One post was how she was that I had been taking the kids on adventures in the summer and how the kids were exhausted and how I needed to learn to let them rest more. I took them to the beach and zoo, I would have thought that was a good thing. Another one was about how my mother in law and I took them school shopping, she claimed she had to return every thing because it didn't fit. I was there and it fit fine! And she also said we put all the younger one's clothes back because she misbehaved. Not true, we only found 3 things that fit. She consistently calls my husband a looser and other choice names, which SD will see. The worst post was about a thing I had said once as a joke. My DH worked full time and attended law school full time 2 years ago so I did my best to try to help him out. I joked to SD saying that I have 3 kids not 2. BM posted that she felt bad for me that I was a slave to him and how her husband does everything to her. I want to respond to all this stuff so badly. She's not giving me chance to explain or defend myself in front of total strangers. What do I do?
You stop looking at her
You stop looking at her facebook page for starters.
Then your DH can have his attorney print off a few of her gems and file contempt on her in court for degrading the other parent "in front of" the child.
And you stay the hell OFF her page.
Think of it this way.
BM is an incurable STD.
It's true.
They become a BM due to having unprotected/careless sex...
And the only way you/ your DH are getting rid of her is if the bitch dies.
Do not leave yourself open to catching her disease... do not be around her.. that includes being around her 'virtually' where her germs (venom... lies... manipulations) can infect your brain/life.
You cant control other people
You cant control other people or their FB pages.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that YOU know the truth. I know my SDs and BM spread lies about me, but I KNOW what is the truth and what I am really about. That is all that matters.
Honestly she sounds really pathetic and desperate and I'm sure a lot of her FB "friend" probably see that too.
Just dont look at her page from now on.
"BM is an incurable STD"
"BM is an incurable STD" buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahhahaha yes yes she is!!! This happened to me a few months back...it made my blood boil! but there is not much you can do! our BM is so so obsessive she asks her friends to check our pages (even tho we block her and she blocked us back lol) I came across her pinterest account once too (common followers) scary!!!!
Thanks all, I only looked at
Thanks all, I only looked at the page once and I was furious for days about it, I haven't looked at it since. I hope karma will bite back at some point.
She's not giving me chance to
She's not giving me chance to explain or defend myself in front of total strangers.
What everyone else said...PLUS...why do you care what total strangers think of you? Why would you have to defend yourself if you haven't done anything wrong? Her FB "friends" would never side with you anyway. Even if they thought you were telling the truth, people would rather believe a convenient lie.
Would you care if Charles Manson says crap about you? Why not? Because he is horrible and mentally disturbed? Why is BM any different?
BM is dog poop on the sidewalk. You can either go around her or you can step in it and complain.
This is how I would
This is how I would handle....
Actually have DH handle. He needs to tell SD that he was alerted to some stuff that her mother posted on FB about him and that it was very disturbing and not true. He needs to tell her that he would never put stuff like that on FB about her mother and he does not know why BM does it, but he wanted to make her aware that her knows what BM is posting and he is sorry that SD may see some of the lies and such.
It wouldn't matter if you had
It wouldn't matter if you had the chance to explain/defend yourself. Most BM's are psychotic bitches who are going to think or say whatever they want anyways. This is why I had to excuse myself from facebook for a while. I was tired of seeing the drama that the three stooges (BM and my two SD's) were causing.
Best thing to do would be to
Best thing to do would be to ignore the post or laugh at them.
I would not bother trying to
I would not bother trying to defend myself in this arena. It's Facebook.
Let BM make an idiot of herself.
Yes seriously, don't respond
Yes seriously, don't respond online, litigate. Print it out, take it to a lawyer, and say "I want her to see her kids less, she is out of control". I guarantee you can make it happen if you have self control and say nothing in response.
From the examples you have
From the examples you have given, you don't need to defend yourself. Her complaints about you taking them on adventures….okay what should you be doing with them instead? Let them watch tv all day? Rightttttt; as for the one about you joking about taking care of your DH while he was in law school…big whoop BM, you supported your DHs dream and helped him achieve a goal he wanted. She's jealous. Big fat bitterness and jealousy. I used to fight back on social media when BM would make a post about me, but thats what they want. They enjoy the fight, they want to bring you to their level and prove to everyone watching (there are other peers watching y'all fight too believe it!) that you are just as bad if not worse than she it. Ive taken the high road (ignored her) for the first year, fought back via social media the second year and at the end of the day ignore her ate her alive a lot more than fighting her back every did. You just ignore that whore! If anything you can start taking the wind out of her sails and make sickeningly happy post about all the wonderful places you take your skids, or that you're so proud that your DH achieved his dream of becoming a lawyer and all because of your help.
Ignore the Whore was the best advice I have ever received from this site, its now my mantra and I have to say it everyday BM inserts herself in our life. This is how peace is achieved, this is how you beat her at her own game.
PERFECT. screen cap it. Holy
PERFECT. screen cap it. Holy shit they are dumb to badmouth you in public, and in a way you can easily record.
People have lost custody of their kids for calling them "assholes" on social media before. This will be such such good leverage to get whatever arrangement you want custody wise.
Its a bummer skid sees the
Its a bummer skid sees the post, but there is very little that can be done.
And by the way, BM not only speaks ill of you and your DH on Facebook, bit she does it in person with her friends. Don't ever worry about defending yourself with her group of people. No point. And frankly, who cares.
The good news is that your DH
The good news is that your DH is a lawyer and you won't need to hire an attorney when you sue her for defamation. }:)
What do you do? Let her hang
What do you do? Let her hang herself with her own rope. Those people who whine and post nasty things about other people may get public sympathy but are secretly disliked and not trusted by most of their "friends." I've blocked BM just because I don't need to see that SDIL "likes" BM's new profile pic or status update etc.. I just don't care and am not interested in her life at all. If you are seeking custody then this is a great opportunity, if not block her and move on.