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They never called him

Newimprvmodel's picture

Well dh has been calling his estranged daughters for the past several weeks. Today he told me that he had intended to call them the day before thanksgiving, but did not. I asked why not call them today......he said it was too much competition....lots people around them. I took it to mean it would be awkward somehow.
So he wanted to call but did not. Sadly not one of his daughters reached out to him. But he told me that will not stop his phone calls. I said at some point they need to act like decent human beings and not entitled so and so's.
I do find it odd that dh felt funny calling them on a holiday, as if he were disturbing them somehow. Maybe they might just once ask about him?
Anyway, it was a great day. Spent the later afternoon snoozing. Hope you all gad a good day as well.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Yes, it started years ago with their mother, who had not an ounce of respect for their father. Then when the divorce happened, he was still the guy who did everything. Do you know she left him, and instead of hiring movers, HE moved her and the daughters to their new house? Until I came on the scene and you know what happened next. That was over 7 years ago......
I don't understand why some parents get such delight over this stuff. Turning their kids against the other. It has a profound effect on the children. And it is not a positive effect. How could it be?

Newimprvmodel's picture

I think the reason our two similar scenarios work out the way they do is because our dh's Kids have the same nasty selfish bug, er gene, that their superstar parents have.......a personality disorder, or in laymans terms....the belief that the entire world revolves around them.
I recognize toxicity enough to know that I am not changing these mean chicks. Best to let hubby do their dance, and it is the same one shared with their mother. I know of countless stupid acts that only entrenched the behavior. Like paying their mother's college tuition the same time she was at school, and DATING others. How insane is that to signal, pick me, I will pay forever!

SugarSpice's picture

i am sure that if he spent money on them that they would be buttering him up and calling him every day.

peacemaker's picture

Every time he pursues them...and they reject him...It feeds their false pride...(merry go round to nowhere)...

Newimprvmodel's picture

So what does he do? On our drive home the day after thanksgiving, he texts both of them photos of the snow here, in the morning. They are on the west coast visiting their she devil of a mother. So in the late afternoon, they each text pics of them relaxing in the sun, and dh writes back, then nothing.
So superficial. So disinterested, right?
And when I raised this point, and how they both ran to his parents for dinner last year to collect their nice little trust fund monies, and neither has contacted them since......dh told me that his parents would approve of him reaching out to them. I kept my mouth shut, but thought they are the reason he is like this.
Not my doing, not my UNDOING ....

Newimprvmodel's picture

So dh has decided to pay daughter's college loan that he had cosigned years ago. It is small, only about 5 k, and payment had only come due on it the past few months. Dh was tickled silly to see that she had actually made the payments, and on time. He was so pleased he called to congratulate her. I wish you could see my eyes rolling at this stuff because it negates all the court crap he had gone through with these pieces of work.
So, why he has chosen to do this now is simple. He has decided that he wants to cultivate a relationship with his offspring who have literally beat the living crap out of him these past years.
Big sigh...........

Newimprvmodel's picture

Oh boy......so now I find out that SHE did NOT pay the first month payment of the loan on time and that is why he has now decided to pay the whole loan! He did fess up today........he told me he thought she had paid. Bullcrap. I guess it is the right thing to do for his credit.