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Update to ss14 took a swing at dh

step off already's picture

So I posted previously regarding ss14's freak out last night (including his attempt to punch dh, his elbow check to me - while holding dd1- and his attempt to call BM to ask if he could live with her).

Surprise!!!!

BM tried to put me and dh down. Didn't work as SS knew he was in the wrong. SS asks, if bm comes here to get me will you call the police (as we have a restraining order against her). We let SS know we will take him and his belonging straight to his mom's home (knowing full well that this will never happen).

Dh told bm about what went down. Vm asks to speak with me (first time ever after hVe extended the ilive branch several time). I told dh that I was happy to speak with her.

I explains what happend from morn till Eve from
My perspective. I told her that I would absolutely NOT let a child live in MY house that disrespected me this way live in my house. That SS WANTED to participate in scouts and the fact that dh took his money to pay for enrollment feed and uniform was the one and inky way we could prove a point to the kid.

She was shocked that he said he likes scouts and didn't know he went on/ loved his first camp out. I told her his next camp out was in her weekend and he would live for her to attnd. She tried to throw a "dh never communicates " excuse out.

I told her that was not what we were speaking g about and if she's actually intwrest d in her son's life, she should ask him.

I mentioned, "I'm sure you've seen his report card, he's doing great".

Nope.
I encouraged her to intreduce herself to the school

She tri d to turn iti to a conversation about how dh does not communicate. I quickly resurrected that and told her we were discussing SS and I would like her to take care of him moving forward as his disrespect and violence will not be allowed in my house.

She asked to speak with him.

Low and behold... She bitched him out about respect and told him todo what I / dh say and knock off the attitude.

She does not want the kid.

Comments

step off already's picture

Ss woo not do well at bm's. It's actually an empty threat but we know she won't take him.

Last night dh was ready to drop him there. She didn't want him and talked circles around it - to me, dh and SS.

SS seened to think that now that bm lives in her own apartment (as opposed to living with her gf and parents) that she would now LOVE to have him full time.

She gives him crap all the time. None of it is actually real but it always sounds good to tell your son (I assume) that life wound be better with you (her) though she skipped out when he was 5.

step off already's picture

Yes. That's currently My situation. SS tried to apologize this morning and I let him know that some times the things you say and do aren't fixed with an apology.

I told DH this afternoon that I would be letting as know that if that EVER happens again, that I will personally deliver him to his mother'so house. There will be no call. There will be no asking. We will just get in the car and he will be gone. Dh understood.

I don't want the kid to go to his mom's - she doesn't want him and he'll be even more screwed up than he is now. But he needs to straighten the eff up.

I spent the afternoon. Leading out his drawers, his closet, his shelves,... Everything is gime from his room.

kathc's picture

That's got to suck to realize your mother doesn't want you. I do feel a little bad for him there. But the behavior and attitude needs to stop. Have you tried sending him to speak with a counselor?

step off already's picture

In counseling already with an awesome counselor. Last visit, they both stated, was a break through session.

Jsmom's picture

My BS did something similar when he was younger. He thought his grandparents would take him and he would be happy there. I told my MIL and she set him straight. Never came up again. Maybe BM would do something similar. Sounds like she is trying.

thinkthrice's picture

How I miss the good ol' days. Had a kid took a swing at their father back when I was a kid, the dad would level him. And no CPS would be called. The kid would have learned his lesson and know to "straighten up and fly right."

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

My DS called me a C U Next Tuesday once....my DH (his biodad) slapped him across the mouth and the kid wanted to call the cops. We gave him the phone, cops came, and told him that since he was 16/17, and could call his Mom a nasty name, he could be slapped in the mouth lol.

step off already's picture

Yea dh actually wrestled the kid down to the ground and made him sit in the corner on the floor. ss was funny and said "oh, you're tough with your little son". I couldn't help but laugh. Sure kid. You're tough one minute and are taking swings at your dad because you think you're tough then the next minut you're playing the poor me card.

Dh handed him the phone to call his mom while he sat in the floor in a corner "like a butch" (as dh would say).

step off already's picture

That's pretty much how it went down at my house last night. Dh wrestled SS down to the ground and made him sit in the corner. SS tried to fight but... Dad won.

SS called BM while sitting in the corner between the couch and the cofer table.