I never anticipated that having adult stepchildren could be such an issue. However, two years into my marriage, my husband and I found out that his 27-year-old son was an alcoholic. He always had troubles with anxiety and did binge drinking in college, from what I knew. The problem became obvious after he had a break-up this past summer. His drinking got out of control to the point that this young man lost his job, was evicted from his apartment, got two DWI's, smashed the car his mother and stepfather co-signed for him. He was literally homeless for a few weeks.
His father and stepfather paid for the first month's rent for a new apartment and my stepson got another girlfriend and went off the wagon after having a fight on Christmas Eve. Come to find out, he has only been going to court-mandated classes and not AA meetings or any type of counselor. My husband keeps making excuses for his son, saying that it's depression and that his son is sick.
I know I have thought too harshly about him and have come to understand to alcoholism is a disease that affects the brain and one's reasoning ability. My frustration is that both fathers, try to rescue him. His mother won't talk to him and I have little contact with him.
I have told my husband that I don't know if I can take a life sentence of dealing with his alcoholic child. I keep asking myself--Do I stay? Or do I go? I understand that my husband can't do much to help his son unless his son wants the help. But it was awful to have to watch my stepson's life go down the tubes this summer and I'm afraid that he's going to self-destruct after another unhealthy relationship goes bust. When that happens, my husband is raked through the coals and our marriage suffers.