You are here

Welp, I'm gonna do it..

Miss T's picture

Tomorrow I'm off to the lawyer to have him write up a pre-nuptial agreement. My house remains mine and will go to my bios along with all my money and my goodies when I check out. I adore my fiance but his son is a dick. The feeling is mutual, and no doubt the kid would describe me as a certain part of the female anatomy.

We've mostly recovered from the fallout of skid's horrendous 3-month stay this past summer, although I'll forever be on my guard and my sweetheart also has learned a hard lesson or two. Christmas break is negotiated to my satisfaction, and I've decided to skip the trip out of state for skid's graduation in May, so won't suffer through rubber chicken dinners and endless speeches and will instead enjoy a couple of days to myself. Skid's lined up a job several hundred miles away, hooray! He's an Aspie, so marriage and grandskids are years away, if ever.

It's evil to be relieved. I don't care. I'm an evil stepmother. And I'm going to marry the hapless, innocent father.

Wish me luck.

Anon2009's picture

Hopefully you're just joking when you say the dad is innocent.

Your SS is an aspie. I am an aspie. Do you think a lot of the tension between you two could be related to his aspie symptoms/behaviors/tendencies? Aspergers is hard to deal with, but can be managed with good help and treatment if the aspie chooses to seek it.

Miss T's picture

Yes, I'm joking. Actually skid isn't diagnosed except informally by me and my oldest daughter, who's a nurse. I talked to DH2B about the Aspie behavior, which is pervasive and obvious, and the stimming, which my daughter and I have observed numerous times. His Dad explained it all away and told skid to stop the stimming. Now he does it only where Dad can't see, e.g, puts his hands behind chairs and stims away, leaves the room to stim, etc. For some reason he doesn't seem to mind that I can see it.

I haven't mentioned it again to DH2B. It's not my hill to die on. Undoubtedly his Aspberger's contributes to the troubles between me and skid, but I've read enough here to know if it weren't that, it would be something else. And his Dad is actually pretty good at making him behave civilly toward me, so there's that.

Rags's picture

Because we had nothing but my newly minted engineering degree, my 8yo truck,two apartments full of college furniture, and my share of the condo that my brother and I purchased together while we were in college a prenup was not necessary.

No prenup for us. Everything we have the bride and I have built together. We have no BKs so ultimately everything will go to the Skid. We met when he was 15mos old an married a week before he turned 2yo. So, he is my spawn as much as my brides excluding biology of course.

Our Wills name each other as the sole recipient of our respective estates (there is only one estate, ours) and in the event of our joint demise it all goes into trust for the Skid until he either reaches age 40 or graduates with a Bachelor's degree from an accredited institution. Kind of our way of parenting from beyond the grave. }:)

Our Will locked our estate tight to keep the Sperm Clan from benefiting from it in any way but since the Skid has aged out from under the CO once he reaches 40 or graduates it is his to do with as he wishes. Until he meets the requirements it is in trust executed jointly by my brother and/or my dad. The instructions are clear. No negotiable medium support of the skid that can be given to the Sperm Clan. Until he meets the terms of control of the estate it can only pay his rent/mortgate, insurance, utility bills. No cash, no credit card payments, nothing that can easily be used to benefit the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. No worries though, he is a sharp kid and would not allow the Sperm Clan to manipulate him nor would he give them his hard earned resources whether he earns them himself or we earned them through our hard work. They periodically try to guilt him in to sending money so support his three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas. Nope, he does not sent them a penny. Interestingly when they start bugging him about how long it has been since he visited he makes them buy his plane ticket. We pay for his flights to visit us so he expects them to do the same. Young USAF Airmen don't make enough money to be buying expensive plane tickets on a regular basis.

thinkthrice's picture

Also not married and no prenup.

I have a secret will that Chef would NOT be ok with. My house and assets get divided among my grown bios.

He has nothing. Not a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. No savings, no retirement, no health insurance, no life insurance, no assets, no property, nothing. Almost all of his money now goes to the BM via CS and will continue to do so for the next at least 10 years.

The youngest is 11 (CS goes to 21 here-Chef's CO has CS going on basically until eternity) Social security survivors benefits stop at 18. Hmmmm. So even the FEDERALES think that a child is no longer legally a "child" at age 18.

Should Chef drop dead seven years from now, OH the gnashing of teeth and wailing over at the BM's house would be great indeed! Not over Chef of course, but the missed out survivor's benefits and 3+ more years of CS for YSS.

Miss T's picture

Haha, neither a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of. That pretty much describes my DH2B, too. Even if not for that, I'd be leery, because last time didn't work out so well for me. So why am I doing this, you ask.

Well, not entirely for romantic reasons. There are practical considerations, and you know, people married for practical reasons long before romance as we know it came into the picture. Nowadays, courts in some states consider that an unmarried couple who contribute equally to the upkeep of a household are for all intents and purposes married and unless they've contracted otherwise their assets are distributed accordingly if they split or one dies. Unmarried couples who don't want that should check with a lawyer to see if that's the case where they live. And there are insurance and Social Security survivor's benefits, and all sorts of miscellaneous items. I figure it's better to weigh these, and then to spell things out formally, whether married or not. For us, marrying makes more sense.

Plus I love the guy.

Rags's picture

My GM did just this with her Will during her second marriage. She remarried a year after my Grandad passed, interestingly she remarried on her 70th birthday. She married the guy she was engaged to in HS when she met my Granddad. She broke off that engagement to marry Granddad.

My SGF's wife had passed 4 years before. So they married when GM was 70 and SGF was 76. They lived in the house that GM built after my Granddad passed that is across the street from the Church that my GGFs donated the land for a built the first building for. SGFs family is also prominent in the community and the cemetery is loaded with both sides of my mom’s family and with SGFs family. Their Wills were clear. His assets went to his daughter from his first marriage and my GM's assets went to my mom and aunt with the exception of my Granddad's retirement account which was split between her 5 grandsons.

My GM passed a month to the day after her 90th B-day/20th anniversary party. SGF passed 5mos later just shy of his 97th birthday. Her Will allowed him to remain in the home for the remainder of his life. When SGF passed the house was sold and the proceeds went to my mom and aunt.

I think that my GM and SGF did it right. Their marriage was priority, they were each provided for in their Wills but their assets went to their children respectively.