You are here

What's the right age?

Evil stepmonster's picture

My youngest is 9, he still believes in Santa. I was thinking that after this Christmas I would tell him that Santa is really me but I'm also torn. I believed in Santa I think until I was 11 or 12 but it was much simpler back when I was that age. My OBS found out when he was 11 by setting an alarm to catch a glimps at Santa..and found me there, beardless with pj's on, he imediately told BS14 then 8 and I wouldn't let them say anything to the baby. All three still get Santa...hell I still get Santa. It's not like the gifts would change just the gifter but then again in an age when youth is gone much to fast is it ok to keep somethings innocent and child like? Or am I keeping him a baby far longer than I should?

Willow2010's picture

Boy are you going to get some responses on this.

A lot of the stepmoms here think that skids should be told that Santa is not real, around the age of 5. But think nothing of letting their own bios believe much longer.

I would wait a little while longer. Why rush it? I think around 11 at the latest. And usually they find out on their own way before that but they milk it anyway. lol

zerostepdrama's picture

LOL- so true the skid/bio double standard by the SM.

When its the SM double standard- that is the only time the double standard is allowed.

z3girl's picture

I agree. I don't remember believing in Santa for that long. I didn't talk to my parents about it, so we let it all slide.

I remember finding it amusing that the package labels all had my mother's handwriting. It was obvious to me who "Santa" was. I make sure I have labels printed so my boys don't figure it out too soon. (they are 2 and 3).

As for the OP's question, I would let kids pretend Santa is real for as long as possible. It's harmless, and part of what makes Christmas so special for kids.

Sports Fan's picture

My son didn't want to admit he didn't believe because he thought he would get less presents. I think in today's world kids probably find out a lot sooner than in the past.

I agree that if a child is questioning, it's time to tell them.

zerostepdrama's picture

Just see what your BS says this year.

My BS stopped believing last year when he was 8 but started to wonder about Santa the year before.

My co workers son is older then my BS and still believes. I think he is 11?

I definetly think by about age 11/12, the kid should have caught on by then.

zerostepdrama's picture

BS asked me. And I was like "well what do you believe?" and he kept laughing and saying "I just want to know the truth." LOL. So I told him the truth but then he seemed a little dissapointed. Honestly, I remember at the time thinking I should have just lied for one more year to enjoy it Smile

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Why ruin that time in their life ~ don't ruin the innocense of it.

My mom did it until she passed ~ love Santa. Lol good times.

AllySkoo's picture

"DH and I, the first year we were together, went and got our pic taken with santa clause... he did not look pleased about the two of us adults sitting on either knee"

Oh my god, I LOVE this! Lol I wonder if I could talk my DH into it....

I'm nowhere near telling my BS5, and I likely won't. I remember asking my parents when I was a kid if Santa (or the Easter Bunny, toothfairy, etc) were real and all they'd ever say was, "Well, what do you think?" They still haven't admitted anything! Smile

Calypso1977's picture

i learned around age 7 or 8.

my SD and her cousin both knew for YEARS before they let on to their parents. when asked why they didnt let on that they knew, they selfishly replied that they wanted more gifts.

honestly, if i had a child i wouldnt even do Santa.

Evil stepmonster's picture

He hasn't questioned it yet. But I'd like to be the one who tells him instead of a school mate or any skids...neither mom ever let them believe in Santa. He's already made a list for him this year, I think that's why I couldn't tell him yet.

PokaDotty's picture

My SD11 (9 at the time of this event) found out about santa after our cat was curious about her "Santa Gift".

SD asked for a fish for Christmas (a red one) and I found the prettiest Betta fish and did massive amounts of research (I'm a total nerd) on how to make sure the betta fish was happy, healthy, etc. I bought an aquarium, plants, food, a "fish hammok" and kept the little fishy hidden in my closet for about 10 days. I felt bad for the little fishy being hidden away so I would sit on a stool in the closet and chat with him.

Christmas Eve I wrote a letter to SD from Santa about how to care for "Mr. Twinklepuff" and put the fish in a cute little fish bowl covered with red plastic wrap (with holes for air) and a beauitful bow.

6 a.m. Christmas monring - DH and I are startled straight out of a deep sleep to awake to cries of "Cleo ate the fish!!"

Add insult to injury, I had wrapped the aquarium from Cleo....

QueenBeau's picture

I found out Santa wasn't real when I was about 9 I think. I just woke up one day & realized how silly the whole idea was lol. My sister, however, believed at least a little until she was like 13.

Let them believe as long as they want. You're only young once. At least that's how I feel.

However, when SD makes a christmas list we usually put 7 things on it, & 'santa' will get her most of the smaller things. The big ticket items, we put our name on. I know it probably sounds silly, but I think it's weird for kids to think that some random stranger is dropping off $200 gifts on Christmast every year. lol. Last year most of her things were from 'Santa' except her doll house. This year she may get an ipad, if she does it'll be from us. It isn't even on her list so it works out.

Jsmom's picture

My house... you don't believe you don't receive and Santa is a nice guy here. Kids have such a short time to believe this, why ruin it for them? The kids on the playground will do that. My kids don't discuss it with me if they do, they get nothing.

jumanji's picture

I think a lot of parents make too big a deal of telling their kids "the truth" about Santa. When my oldest came to me ~9, I sat him down and explained that of course there wasn't some guy coming to every house on the 24th. BUT, that is not really what Santa is about. Santa is about believing in something magical, and giving from the heart. The spirit of the season. Being a little bit nicer, a bit more thoughtful and thinking about things that would make the people you love (and who love you) feel special. Not about "stuff", but making people feel good. And I asked him not to ruin that for his little sister by telling her "the truth". He took that to heart and started leaving her little treats., and gave her the gift of his time.

In *my* home when my kids were young, Santa always brought the one thing they really, really wanted, but I refused to buy - too loud, too expensive, useless. I'd say no, but Santa would bring it. They know now that I would save all year to make that magic happen. And they carry that with them - *I* get Santa gifts from them, now.

Don't ruin it for your kid - share the magic.

MEL1297's picture

My thing is if they are at an age where they would look ridiculous in a Santa pic at the mall, it's time to tell them. SS age 8 still believes in Santa but doesn't want to pose in a pic with him...I would say it's time, but thats not my decision!

ThirdsACharm's picture

BM never played Santa for my 2 SD's. Sad actually. She wanted the credit for getting them gifts instead of letting "Santa" have credit. Idiot.

Glassslipper's picture

My kids are 15,14,13 and 9...they all know Sad
But we don't speak of it...
Yes, my kids will be getting gifts well into their 50's from Santa if I'm still alive, in our family its more fun that way.

My favorite part is when they open it and I'm all
"OH MY! let me see that, wow, that is SO neat" and they are looking at me like I'm the worst actress in the world because they know I picked it out...
LMAO
Happy Holidays no matter what you believe

proudstepmommy's picture

SD11 still claims to believe in Santa... And last year she even asked to have her picture taken with him, so I obliged. Personally I think she knows, but doesn't want to admit it to her father or I. I say what's the harm.

What's great is to see her with her much younger cousins and helping to spread the magic of the (hectic) season

redtiger74's picture

I think the right age is when the child starts to ask questions. I was 5 or 6 when I discovered that Santa wasn't real. I don't have my own kids yet, just the 6-year-old SS. He'll probably believe in Santa until he's 26, and we'll all have to pretend that Santa exists because the BM tells us to. But what's worse is the stupid f'ing Elf on a Shelf. The thing is just so hideously evil looking, like an anorexic Chucky wearing a Santa suit and of course the BM calls or text DH to remind him to put out the stupid thing when the skid is at our house. And the skid chortles and jumps up and down everytime he sees it like he doesn't realize it's just this stupid-looking doll.

I have no problem counting down the days until Xmas with something like an Advent calendar, but I find the Elf on the Shelf just ridiculous. I'd get rid of the piece of junk, but I'd probably wake up to find it wrapping it's creepy plastic hands around my throat one night or my brainwashed DH would just go and shell out $30 for another one.

What I resent the most is that the BM thought she could impose that ridiculous nonsense on my household. I'm 4 months pregnant with my first child and I don't want anything like that in the house for my child's holidays. So I've put down my foot this year and said no way. It's up to my DH to explain to the skid that the Elf on the Shelf decided to stay at BM's house baking cookies or some such crap when the skid is staying with us in December.