Beside myself

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:jawdrop: In short, WE just found out that ss11 has been playing us for years! He has been lying to BM telling her that she is scared of DH and lying to us telling us that when he has visitation he barely sees her and has to BEG her to hang out with him. We have literally been to court 10 times since 2009. Dh and bm don't have a great relationship so when we would confront her she would of course say he was lying and he would cry in disbelief of how "mommy" was calling him a liar. Our last court case was a real doozy! We found out bm has pending abuse allegations with her other child, that she doesn't spend time with him, that they (bm and parents) are constantly arguing, that she is constantly talking about us horribly to him, etc. WELL, ss told us that the GAL didn't really speak to him, that his mom wasn't around for the visit, blah blah blah. Ss is really smart, too smart! His grades suck and he has become a pro at playing the victim all too well. Dh and I have put him in counseling for 5 years, talk to him, listen to him, and spend a ton of money trying to "protect" him. All of this only to find out he is a little BIG liar! The GAL said it was okay for him to visit his mom, as a matter of fact he suggested MORE time. We were appalled ! Our lawyer said she wouldn't fight the GAL, we were devastated! Then the truth came out and not only did as talk to GAL but he told him that he and his mother have a great relationship. Okay, fine! So, we settle. If you don't care than we don't care. Today I wanted to see if his grades stopped sucking since he has "supposedly" been attending tutoring. Nope, they suck. Bm called and they spoke. I asked him if he mentioned to her that his grades sucked. He did, but failed to mention that it is because he is not turning in most of his work! So we chatted, I have a hunch he has been doing this sort of thing more than we know. Come to find out as has been telling bm that she is scared of DH! Wtf?! And the truth shall set you free, the lies were revealed one by one and ss admitted to doing it! I am so disappointed in him. I have never seen dh so hurt. Bm left ss, true, BUT he has lied his way into the perfect life. He gets away with murder because dh is mean, bm is never around, and I am mean?! Well played... Can we bounce back? I honestly am hurt, angry, disgusted, and anything else you would like to insert. I thought I had found peace. Now I just want to disengage. I feel so deceived. I know that there is no possible way that he knows to what extent he has hurt everyone involved. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was telling hurtful lies. Lost.

Spell check sucks. Ss has

Spell check sucks. Ss has been telling bm that HE is scared of DH. Whatever kid.

This is probably going to

This is probably going to come across as cold, but I just don't see how this happens. I have seen it happen...I have watched two parents who can't get along to save their lives be manipulated by a child who knows how to play both sides because he knows his parents will NOT communicate about it. But I don't get it. NO kid should be trusted 100%, and when they have a reason to lie to benefit from it in some way, it's almost guaranteed. That should be a given, and then work backward from there.

That said, EVERY child of divorce has played this, and even children from intact families do it where possible. Don't feel like this is some insurmountable event that nobody has ever dealt with. Now that you both know the truth, he should be parented accordingly, like the BIG FAT LIAR that he is. No biggie.

I think it is more the "how

I think it is more the "how did we not see this coming"? Bm has a tendency to lie soooooooo. He has just cried so many tears... His big fat liar self gets no sympathy any more. I am just not that type of person so to think that he knowingly did it to the extreme is ridiculous to me. And bm sucks, sure, but now Ya have to wonder and that really pisses me off! Touché

First, YOUR attorney works

First, YOUR attorney works for YOU. The attorney does not get a say in whether or not YOU will go up against the GAL in front of a judge. Since your attorney has the relationship completely backwards and is obviously the usual idiot bottom 10%er of the legal profession that goes into family law fire her idiot ass and find a good attorney who knows full well that they work for you are will do what you instruct them to do. Attorneys advise, counsel, and represent YOU. They work for YOU. If your attorney loses touch with that reality then find a new one that is worth a shit.

Second, you and DH have let an idiot attorney and your fear of and intimidation by the system allow an 11yo to play and own your asses. WTF!!! :? :jawdrop: :sick:

Time to set SS-11 straight on who the adults are in the equation, smack the shit out fo BM until she crawls back under her slime covered rock in the shallow and polluted pond that is her gene pool, and take control rather than being the active victims in this tragic blended family novel.

^^YES!^^ I remember watching

^^YES!^^ I remember watching in amazement as ex-h believed the OBVIOUS lies his daughter told him, because he wanted to believe anything negative about bm.

Well, for starters it didn't

Well, for starters it didn't start out like this. Bm moved away and lied about coming back. We had an agreement. She lied about her second child, she lied about visitation, she lied about cs, she lied about working, she LIES. The child is a bi product of seeing that you can blame your problems on the world and get sympathy. So tho' I think it was somewhat truthful in the beginning (being hurt by his mother being a ha urial liar) he has sense become one. The issue at hand is we know who we are dealing with when it comes to BM, BUT for ss to make up stories about us when we have done everything we could to protect him pisses me off. Spend more time up there and hate every bit of it. Don't care. Maybe it's better this way. Now I don't have to feel bad about enjoying my days while ss is with his lying a** mother. And the fact that this makes me question if sometimes her dumb self is really not lying ticks me off!!!

Of course I do t like her but

Of course I do t like her but I am an adult helping raise her child. She is a child herself. We have seen her lies firsthand. THAT is why we went to court. To find out that ss has been lying to her about us sucks! And sure it's prob for more attention and sure ithere prob truth to his stories but now I don't believe him. Let's not forget I mentioned that she has a pending abuse allegation. She also has supervised visits with 2 nd child. She lives either parents, pays for nothing and is a great victim. And now her son is learning from the best. I totally get how everyone has been snowed by her! Perhaps he should just go live with her and they can be miserable little liars together? That would be too easy tho and he would eventually become a burden on society as his mother is. My whole point is. We tried and it sucks!

AMEN!

What would you do if bm was a

What would you do if bm was a ha usual liar and skid would tell you and therapist stories?! How do you know who's is lying? Bm has a history of being your normal twist everything to make it work for her , awful person. Why would we EVER think that a child that cries his eyes out because of her lies would now use that to his advantage?! Seriously. It appears that some think it is niavete. Bm and DH do speak, kind of. She sucks tho and lies and is immature and and and. We are doing our best and ss is taking advantage. Bm used to stay the night out when he was ther for visits, we had to put it in the court order to make her be home the one weekend a month he was there. Of course we believed his stories... Shame on is I guess. Just hurtful and I need to vent. We are not perfect and obviously made mistakes.

Oh he has no trust. We have

Oh he has no trust. We have told him that if we can't trust him when we are not around to watch then we will watch EVERTHING! No closed doors to br, everything is double checked. Thank you for offering help!

Truth! Thank you. I never

Truth! Thank you. I never meant for her to come across as Mother of the Year Scout with multiple badges in communication. Hard to get your point across and not write a novel. I totally agree. And it makes its so much harder because we know that she is not a good parent and now he is following her horrible lead. One day this too shall pass.

I just broke up with a LTR

I just broke up with a LTR recently and this was one of the issues, word for word. Pretty early on I told Dad that he couldn't believe EVERYTHING that his son told him. It's classic. He has conditioned him not only to lie/embellish stories, but also to treat his mom like crap because he views her even worse than she actually is. She is batty, but why make matters worse?

I am certain my SD6 is going

I am certain my SD6 is going down the same path as your SS. She is already playing both of her parents in the same manner that he is, and they are both falling for it and basically encouraging it. So unfortunately I don't have any advice for you.

When I first came into DF's

When I first came into DF's life ~ I could see the writing on the wall a mile away. Tinkerdouche plays victim ~ it's so hard being a single Mom n having to work full time. ( sorry dumbass I worked for 16 years w 3 kids ~ to/fro n it was like I was single cause I did everything myself ~ without complaining.) Shove your complaining up your ass Tinkerdouche ~ you aren't the only single parent in the whole world.

I watched first hand how Tinker would try to communicate w DF n he would let her calls go to vm ~ no need to talk to her. His issue was Tinker is/was the almighty spin dr. , she would ask DF what his thoughts were on an idea ~ he would verbalized his opinion she didn't like his opinion would hound him to change ~ he would say No ~ hound again n then he would say I don't know why u r asking me cause you are ultimately going to do what you want to do. AND THIS IS THE CYCLE.

SD ( Veruca) learned to lie to BM very quickly. N BM would never check up ~ n vica versa. I was on to SD's manipulation.

One time ~ DF n I were dating but BM didn't know about me yet. We went away for a weekend ~ SD made arrangement to stay at friends for the weekend. SD really stayed at a boys house overnight. ( one of SD's friends told BM n BM called DF n blasted him. ) BM said while you are out with your whore de'jour ~ your daughter slept over some boys house. SD told DF that her friend had lied to BM cause the girl was angry w SD. And there my friend is what I refer to as " cranium erectus" ~ DF had his head up his ass !!!! I wholeheartedly knew SD did in fact sleep over said boys house n so did BM.

So the question remains ~ after this incident ~ how come your two idiot parents can't communicate about SD ?? I could careless about how much you hate each other ~ communicate through text.

You allowed her to continue to play you both. Dumbass !!!
K.I.S.S. ~ keep it simple stupid !!! Always double check ~ I guess that is another reason she hates me. I am onto your sociopath ways.

Not in my house !!!