From the very limited info you give I think you're a gold digger.

Ok, maybe you're not. But right now I'm going with the info I have and it's not looking good, I can see already why your future sd isn't welcoming.

Hold up..SD is YOUR AGE?? W.T.H. is your future hubby thinking?? OMG..this is..just..disturbing!!

Was he a disney parent to her?? Is she a mini-wife?

Expect fireworks - LOTS AND LOTS of it if you stay in this.

Gold digger bells are going off for me as well.

Some single moms will hunt for financially secure men to support them and their children. Just as it's wrong for adult SKs to expect their parents' money to go to them, I think it's wrong for a single mom to expect her new husband to be financially responsible for her children.

So if part of the reason fueling the fireworks between you and SD is your quitting work why not work?

Your child is five. About kindergarten age. Why quit a job just as the child is finally starting school and being gone all day? Regardless of your self ability or lack of to support yourself and your son independently, why would you now want to be a SAHM? I'd think you'd have a desire to show your son what a strong independent woman his mother has the ability to be. If it's a lack of higher education that perhaps had you in a low paying job that you feel isn't worth your time for the money , then going back to school during your newly found free time might be something to consider.

So what's the plan now? How do you plan to spend your totally open days (besides fighting with your same age SD)?

You didn't write much but this line hit me.

>Obviously, she doesn't like me and thinks I have alteriior motives.<

Far be it from me to judge, because my father hails from a country where the practice of arranged marriages is still quite common (my grandmother married a man who was 25 years older than her), but reading that one sentence makes me think that you knew this was coming. Did you or your future husband make any attempt to bridge the gap that you admitedly knew was coming?

You have a 5 year old son. He is YOUR responsibility. Don't expect someone else to take care of him. Don't expect someone else to provide for him. Don't expect someone else to support him.

Your son needs to see his mother & father doing these things for him. Not some other guy.

I'm certain the fact that you & your STB SD are the same age is creating issues, & I guarantee you, it will continue to.

Given that & the fact that you're now relying on her dad to support you & your son...yeah, common sense says "GOLD DIGGER".

Regardless of your STB SD, you need to get a job & support your own son. As a mother you owe him that.

Agree with others. The age difference isn't that big a deal - heck, my SIL married a guy and wound up with stepsons that are OLDER than she is! (SS's think it's pretty funny, actually.) But SIL didn't quit her job - in fact she's the major breadwinner.

I also agree that "mutual decision" or not, you should keep your job. Not for the "perception" of others, so you don't look like a gold digger. But YOU (not your DH - YOU) should be financially responsible for your son, as far as you're able. You need to save for his college education, for his first car if you want to help him get one, for all the fees and equipment for him to play sports, even if your DH is willing to foot all the household bills. You need to have some independence. This is not the 1950's, where the little woman has to ask her husband for permission to buy new shoes - go out, make your own damn money, and don't put yourself in the position of having to ask permission from anyone. Being totally dependent on a man is a recipe for disaster.

...typical

I'm not going to cast judgement on whether you're a gold digger or not. Not my problem.

But I will suggest that you try to get your job back or find a similar one. That way you have a safety net to fall back on in case of an emergency.

Try to steer clear of ss as much as possible. Don't be her Facebook friend. Keep your interaction with her minimal.

It's quite possible that the OP had a horrible job that was sucking the life out of her, and she is actively looking for another one. I have quit without another job lined up at various times in my life. Sometimes it is what you need to do for your own sanity. Plus you have more time to fill out applications, etc. That becomes your full time job for a while.

OP, did you quit to find another job, or are you going to be a stay-at-home wife and mother? I would seriously consider working at least part time, just to keep your skills up to date. You never know when you may have to support yourself again.

As for the stepdaughter, I doubt she will ever be friendly to you. The only hope you have is that maybe over time she will just leave you alone.

Perhaps your asking the wrong question..."How do I stay in the marriage and shed the gold dogger label"...If your heart is true...then,,,you can't control what other people think about you...

I learned you have to not care what other people think so much, unless you are going to let what other people think define you. People are screwed up and don't really know anything....we only deal with a perceived reality and make many ill informed premature judgments based on our own understanding...Unless you can spiritually assess your situation correctly...it is all just speculation. One small fact can change the entire meaning....
Everyone has issues and filters that skew reality...that is the world we live in...I think the question you need to ask yourself is "Why am I giving other peoples opinion of my motive so much weight?" They are not the ones you need to impress in this life.

(One day I just woke up and realized...I am tired of spending money that I don't have to buy things that I don't need to impress people I don't like),,,

"How do I stay in the marriage and shed the gold digger label"
_________________________________________________________________

You can't have your cake & eat it too.

You chose to quit your job & have your fiance support you & your kid "to make up for lost time". Like Echo said, you can't make up for lost time. Time passes & it's gone.

I don't think it's unreasonable for his grown daughter to be concerned about your motives. I think your choices are:

1) Continue living off your fiance's money & accept that the gold digger stigma will likely be yours to keep
2) Set a good example for your child & show him how to be independent & how to take care of one's own responsibilities.

Put yourself in his daughter's shoes & look at this from her POV.