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Presents - questions!

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

So I discussed here a while back how holidays will be changing gin our home based on who has SD that holiday. (Actually the idea came from other SMs here)

Pretty much, Santa visits house SD is at. Not both houses. Or all houses (if you include MIL's and my family's)
Same with Easter Bunny.

Ie: last year SD had Easter at BM's and we didn't get her until about a week after. SD kept asking what the Easter Bunny left for her. We said "nothing. Easter Bunny stopped at your mom's house".
sD then got upset and said NO, Easter Bunny stops at ALLLLLL her houses.
MIL, like a fool, went out scavenging for legit over Easter things at the stores and gave them to SD when we got her.

DH and I didn't like that and discussed that we would be changing the way holidays work in our home.

I asked you guys if we should inform BM of how we will do things in our home - even if she doesn't like it or wants to follow along.
Majority of you told me not to. To just do it the way we plan and leave BM to do it her way and if she doesn't like it or says something about it then to ignore her.

Now, of course WE wil still give her gifts on holidays. But it won't be a full on Santa Visit if she's not going to be at our home Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. (It alternates yearly).

Anyway. We wanted to discuss gifts however with BM. So we aren't buying doubles or getting shit SD doesn't want or need. We really don't care if SD brings our gifts back to BM's (depending on what they are).
SD's birthday is coming up so we asked BM about what she thought about discussing gifts in the future.
She was up for it. She sent a list of things SD mentioned she was going to ask Santa for.
She then said "I told SD that Santa will be splitting his gifts between homes and stopping at (her house) and (our house)"

Which, isn't how we want to do things. Santa isn't stopping here on years she's at BM's
So now I don't know if we should just leave it alone, or inform BM that that's not how we will do it. That we will still get some gifts, but it's not from Santa or a big Santa blow out.

Comments

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

Yeah I was about it to delete this blog and just let it go.
I did ask BM if she thought Santa should just be at the parent's house in whom she's with that year.
BM responded with "Santa will always visit our house".

So we're just going to let it go.
Soon SD will be out of the whole Santa phase.

BM did get ridiculous though. She was like "I already bought the 3DS but I can return it and you can buy since it was like $200"

Really? LoL!! The nerve.

I was just like "no that's okay. You already got it and we're a little tight in money right now so we will look into the other things you listed and let you know what we get so there aren't any double gifts".

Like really lady? She just thinks we have a tree that grows money.
She stopped working and CS went up $200. So her income is literally 100% child support.
She's asked for extra money once for dance class. And I'm just like, we can't afford to give her more money and if she can't afford it, then SD just can't do dance class then. Or BM is going to have to figure out extra ways to get more money instead of relying on DH's CS.

We will NEVER give her money on the side - FYI.
Especially if she didn't have a job. If she wants or needs extra money, she can get a job.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

If every other year Santa comes to your house. But every year Santa goes to BM's house how will you explain that.

I think if BM knew the every other year w Santa ~ she might be on board.

Santa is different for everyone as far as what food you leave but the premis is same.

Just curious as to how you explain it all ??

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Aswang ~ you crack me up !!!

I only have one gift from Santa n the rest is from me. Stocking from Santa. I got tired of the Fat Guy being the good guy Smile

DoubleUteeEFF's picture

We are just going to leave it as is. But like you said, Santa is different for everyone.
Our problem was really just SD demanding or feeling entitled to things.
Wasn't necessarily Santa but last year the Easter thing pissed us off how she insisted that the Easter Bunny left her candy and presens at our house even though she was at BM's for Easter.

Not the way we really want SD to grow up. Gifts aren't everything. What's important is family.

BM said she already explained to SD this year that Santa will be SPLITTING his gifts between houses. So not necessarily a bunch going to hers and a bunch going to ours.

We're just going to leave it like that. We have her this year for Christmas. We don't care if she takes gifts back to BM's.
Santa won't live long anyway since she's getting to that age.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

The splitting part is concerning ~ if you are trying to get away from it.

I think it's a great idea ~ just seems BM n surrounding people should b on board.

I usually do a donation in our families name to a cause that affects my family. Heart association, cancer Or MS
Maybe start to teacher her giving is better than receiving. Have her spend time at an animal shelter.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

To me it is honestly about giving ~ it feels so much better giving.

My kids ( daughters in particular ) make chocolate chip cookie an we made peanut butter balls that everyone raves over. We make them once a year but the list gets longer n longer ever year.