Being new to this disengagement thing, I often find myself in situations that I'm not sure how to respond to. One that keeps coming up is dealing with correcting SS14.

For example, during every single visit this summer and fall he has come into the living room when I'm hanging out in there, sat in an office type chair and played with it riding up and down and up and down like he's on a carnival ride. At some point I can't take it any more and I tell him "That's not a toy. Please stop playing with the chair." Every time he gets up and mopes out of the room like I've kicked him in the side. I get that this is very much purposeful on his part.

When I first disengaged, I would have just gotten up and quietly gone to another room. Then I started feeling like I was being controlled by the skids so I stopped and started nonchalantly correcting the behavior. The chair thing is one of many examples. Now its become a game for them to see how much I can take before I'll speak up and I don't want to play anymore.

Should I tell DH is front of them when its happening? Should I send him to his room? Isn't that the opposite of disengagement? I wouldn't let the neighbor's kid come here and do that without saying anything so it seems odd to let SS do it.