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Not sure OH has got it right this time e SD7..

stressedstep's picture

(dated Wednesday 22/10/2014)This isnt a moan as such, but......

First off, SD7 came back on Sunday gone, and was back at school Monday.....late as per....OH is at her parents evening tonight with MIL so we will see how well she is managing to keep up. Im assuming to be honest thats he has fell behind again after all our hard work, as her lateness lately has been hitting nearly 45 minutes at its worst.

Also, dont know if its outside influences, but last night I did snap at SD7, she told my BD7 AGAIN that the baby is SD7s proper brother but its only BD7s step.....I made it clear again that the baby was BOTH their brothers in equal measure...not sure why she keeps forgetting these things...its a little worrying, as she seems to do it so so so much....

But my main reason for blogging.....obviously at 6 months gone, a lot of things are being bought to cater for baby....baskets, wardrobes, drawers etc....so slowly SD7 has been helping to pack and sort her things out of her room....again, she still OK about things....I asked OH last night to start taking some of her things home with her, as I needed to move things into what will be babys room due to lack of space anywhere else......now remember SD7 has already packed some of her stuff, and is aware of whats going home with her and what she can keep at mine.....I thought doing it bit by bit would be LESS of a blow for her, hence why I had initiated it the way I have.........however, OH said no.....he wants to take EVERYTHING in one go this weekend.......now, Im not sure thats a good idea, as the room will be VERY empty until she is moved into BD7s room (we are waiting on the bunk bed delivery)...what do you all think?? Im just concerned its too much in go, or is a good thing, to get it over and done with so she has more time to adapt to it!??

Comments

SecondGeneration's picture

I can see both sides, your partner doesnt want the fuss and hassle of multiple extra trips of stuff to BMs and I can see your concern that the room will feel empty.
Depending on how much time there will be before the bunk beds arrive you can do a few camp nights with both girls sharing their new room together.

Ultimately you are probably going to have a fair amount of drama out of them over the change around. No doubt both your SD and DD will complain at various points that they dont want to share, etc,etc.

stressedstep's picture

TBF, both have been pretty ok about the sharing.....

SD7 has tried to "take over" BD7s room and make her own decisions, so had to inform (harshly which was wrong so I do it calmly and softly now) that her room is at her moms and she can do as she pleases there, but here the room is BD7s so she will do as she pleases...sadly SD7 had been given that expectation that when she is at mine she is allowed and has the right to do as she wishes and states......but otherwise they have not flared at all......

Im just worried its a lot all at once....

stressedstep's picture

They both had signs anyway for their respective bedrooms, but SD7 is taking all her signs and such home with her for "her own room at home" (her words), BD7s will just remain in place.....I have made slight changes regarding BD7s bedroom and SD7s sleeping arrangements, as when things were being packed up, SD7 was busy packing books and everything, so Ive decided to adapt some space by the top bunk (just a shelf, or small shelf unit given space) that she can still keep some of her books and such to hand, as her toys will be stored under the bunk beds....

Im not sure how much she will act out...she seems to have accepted the change and they both looking forward to bunk beds! lol I just worried about suddenly emptying everything out whilst still waiting for the bunk bed....

twoviewpoints's picture

Just curious, but has OH told BM that all this stuff is coming to her house?

I will assume that yes, he has. That BM is willing to accept all you're sending and has room herself for it. Given that you are basically loading BM up with things you no longer want nor have room for at your house, OH may have to work with BM as to when BM is ready for the items. She may have to do some cleaning out and making room for the items. It just seems natural that BM would get some say as to when delivery and how is made as it is involving her home as well.

stressedstep's picture

Hi All, Thanks for your replies Smile

I dont know if BM knows, as far as im aware SD7 doesnt have much at her own home, BM was constantly moving house to avoid debt so left most of SD7s stuff behind. I think she knows that there is some stuff coming, as OH asked her if she needed or wanted SD7s draws and such.....

Im not worried "worried"...just concerned in advance maybe! lol I was just concerned that maybe its too much in one go, and whether it would cause a bad reaction from SD7, but your probably right, Im worrying too much....

I have encouraged SD7 to feel baby kick, she feels awkward...OH was originally concerned that she was feeling left out...had to explain that its natural for BD7 to touch or pat my bump, Im her mom....its not natural for SD7 as Im not her mom.....its not an instinctive thing for SD7....so he gets it now and we encourage SD7 as much as we can...

Im doing my best with SD7, I do have annoyance issues with SD7, but then I did before pregnancy due to other issues that were occurring....but I tell myself that my hormones are making me a bit nuts!! lol....so I only ask to make sure really, keep my sanity!! lol Smile