Not wishing happy bday/fathers day
What do you all think about this:
SS12, I mean Cesspool did not call on Father's day to wish DH a happy father's day, when on Mother's day we dropped him off in the morning so he could go to brunch with BM and her mom and spend the day with them. We also bought him a card to give to her from him. (This was on DH's time)
Cesspool also did not call DH on his birthday that just passed, even though I told him that weekend that DH's bday was the next day. He still didn't call.
We have suspicions that BM is brainwashing Cesspool to not care for DH as much (there is a lot more story to that theory); this is so hurtful to DH ...which I am sure is why BM doesn't remind Cesspool to even call on Fathers Day.
I just feel bad for DH, I mean I could give a rats ass about Cesspool but DH sits in 6 hours of traffic for that shit on Friday's and pays for all his sports, braces, whatever. You can't even give your dad a call?
We won't be doing in favors this Mother's Day in 2015, that's for damn sure. BM posted all over facebook about her birthday so I am sure Cesspool wasn't able to forget about her birthday in the span of one day like he did with dad's.
If this bothers dh he should
If this bothers dh he should tell SS how hurt he feels.
But then you let a 12 year
But then you let a 12 year old know that he "hurt your feelings" so then he can just run home to mom and tell her that her plan was a success? Obviously this makes complete sense to just communicate that SS was thoughtless when he was even reminded, but I don't think it is that easy. I do wish it was though!
SS12 has done this 2 years on
SS12 has done this 2 years on the trot now. The first time he "forgot" Father's Day he said BM forbade him to contact DH, which although plausible I still find difficult to believe SS went along with unwillingly as this kid is glued to his iPad and constantly talking to / messaging his friends. So if he wanted to send DH a message I believe he could have. BM also use to spend all of Mother's Day with SS even if it fell on our wkends if she said she wanted to, 1 year she was away with her DH over that wkend but SS still phoned her and wished her. So this year DH's birthday comes and goes with no phone call and Father's Day passes the same way - again. I asked DH if SS had wished him and he says no but probably BM didn't let him contact DH. I laughed and asked DH for how many years does he intend to use that excuse??Don't get me wrong BM is a nutter but SS is forever on his iPad so I find it a pretty lame excuse that he couldn't have messaged DH. I said to DH it's unfortunate that as SS gets older BM's genetics ( being a selfish liar) are shining through more and more but that's what happens when you breed with crazy.DH did call SS out on his lack of communication after the second Father's Day fiasco to which SS said he "forgot" to wish DH. Amazing he never "forgets" when it comes to the Golden Uterus.
The lack of communication is
The lack of communication is outstanding with all the technology thrown at these kids and teenagers these days. There is just no excuse. Yes, BM is bat shit crazy and won't communicate with DH, and SS12 is the same damn way now. It's last minute everything, and by last minute it's DH in the car to get SS when he's calling dad to say ohhhhhhh.......yea........mmm......I have practice till 10pm tonight.....yea....
I did forget to mention that SS did call on father's day, to make sure it was okay for that weekend he could go to a baseball game, I dunno it was either the A's or Giants....but no happy fathers day comment... so rude. I think DH should take some wire cutters and take those braces off his teeth that he's paying for.
Glad to know we aren't alone. He's messy and a slob, but he isn't thoughtless .....I think BM is behind it unfortunately. But who knows, maybe he does have a thoughtless streak in him!
SS was born when DH and BM
SS was born when DH and BM separated, SS has never known a family life like that. So we can't really say that.
For fathers day, SS did not have a cellphone (he just got his second one last week) , but they have a house phone and he does have DH's phone number memorized. Not to mention BM did not offer to let him spend time with DH, SS called to go to a baseball game and did not mention fathers day.
Who knows if BM is behind it or not, obviously she's being a dick for not making sure he wishes his father happy fathers day .....the birthday, whatever. I reminded him of that and he didn't care to remember. We are taking the high road and make sure he's there for her on mothers day, but I think 2015 will be different if he's with us that weekend. Oh what??? it's mothers day???? REALLY?? wow.....
We only assume BM is behind it because she's seriously a high conflict son of a bitch. Anything to make life more miserable is like winning a fucking trophy to her. I seriously hope her boyfriend proposes to her so she can have 5 step kids and then she can live my hell x5. It's just really damn disrespectful. I think I'll say something next weekend and save DH the trouble and ask why SS can't dial the phone. He's almost 13, not 3.
I agree! It's just nice to
I agree! It's just nice to hear that we aren't the only ones out here with these issues, and other issues as well. It's very appreciated. I just couldn't imagine having a child that doesn't wish me a happy mothers day or wish a happy birthday. DH hasn't expressed fully how he feels about it, but I know it couldn't feel good. DH is one of those tough guy cops who can poker face you like no other, but deep down he's super soft ....I know this year hurt him. I tried to recover from fathers day by telling SS that DH's bday was the next day when he was at his moms. I TRIED!!!!
I think DH should ask SS when his bday comes around, "So what do you expect for your birthday since you forgot about mine because it's not important??"
I'm sure once he grows up a
I'm sure once he grows up a bit he'll make up for it. My brother for the past few years has been selfish and forgetting me, but I still have been the better person and giving him a gift, even if it's two silly tshirts from target and a card. I just want to be the better person. Since he's in the police department now though he really has been showing me up with gifts to our parents. I am still in college and DH let me quit my part time job to just focus on school. He gave my parents over 100$ worth of gifts each when I only spent 50$ each on them. Oh well, I am glad he is spoiling mom with coach purses and wallets, she's never had them before.
Poor DH probably wishes I want fancy purses and wallets, when what I ask for is 1200$ parrots and parrot toys and cages or play stands, way more expensive than coach purses lol!
I feel the same way, when SS
I feel the same way, when SS is here it's like sports bonding central, everything seems great! Then he goes back to BM for the week and it's like DH doesn't even have a kid. Then the next weekend comes, full of drama since no communication happens and it's hell. I wish it was better for DH but I can't do anything for him but sit and listen and give support.
Yikes....do we have the same
Yikes....do we have the same SS ??? Sounds like our SS will be the same as yours. LOL@ radio silence. perfect! not a better description available.
Back when my SDs were little,
Back when my SDs were little, luckily their horse of a BM did let them call their dad or buy a card..but then they got older, more materialistic and snobby and only like their BM and step-dad because of fat bank accounts..so now that they're 17 and 20, and should be able to think for themselves, they only wish their mom and step dad happy birthday and mother/father's day. It really irks me that they can think of their step dad and not their real dad who has always been an active part of their lives. it's bull crap...i don't care if they acknowledge me..i don't want their attention. I just want them to realize how great it is to have a dad that cares. But it doesn't bother my husband (or if it does he doesn't act like it) so, I just come here, gripe about it, and go my merry way...skids can be real a-holes if you ask me!