SD competing with me for attention
Im 23 boyfriend is 33. Bd 5. Sd 5,sd 8, ss 9. We have been together a lil over a yr i am 7 weeks pregnant. I went from a single mom to a live in girlfriend with my bd to a sm of 4 overnight. Im so overwhelmed. I am a stay at home mom. My boyf has an at home business. My sole responsibility is to care for the kids. Homework cook clean do 3 heads of hair everything. Its only been about 2 months we are still adjusting and learning each other. My oldest sd8 is i guess going through a clingy stage with her father. If he goes outside to smoke a cigarette shes following heading to the bathroom shes trying to follow. She almost followed him into the male restroom at a restaurant i had to stop her. Shes begging him to sit next to her. We went winter wardrobe shopping for hum which is usually our thing and she bombarded the fitting room with things because she did not want him to see any of my choices. I cooked a huge Sunday dinner and they snuck and ate at a Mexican restaurant while i was cooking. We have always called each other babe now hes calling them babe. Im pregnant maybe over emotional lol but still. He came to me a few days ago saying he can tell my disgust in my eyes he can tell i dont like his kids. I denied it but this is awful. I dont think i dislike his kids i think i just dislike being a stepmom. Plus being 5th place to the man i love. Maybe if there was only one stepchild. Idk. This is so selfish and bratlike of me.ughh wat to do?
Well what should i fo just go
Well what should i fo just go to a shelter?? Obviously i do love thus man his kids were not with us at 1st. He just got custody 2 months ago and he has alwsys loved and accepted my daughter so in return i felt it was my place to do the same. Stepparenting is not as easy as it looks.
You're unemployed, have one
You're unemployed, have one kid and another on the way. You have bigger issues than SKs. How are you going to support yourselfnand two kids if this relationship doesn't work out?
Wow. Thanks for the advice
Wow. Thanks for the advice ladies.
Skip this scenario. You
Skip this scenario. You probably wont because it's "safe" or "my child should know his daddy". Silliness.
Move into an apt and get a roommate. Education is good and more affordable than you think. BTW, "Mr. Wet-Jeans" appears again more often than you think.
I agree with MizFoxie. Get
I agree with MizFoxie. Get an abortion.
I know, you'll always be thinking "what if I had just stayed and made it work". So here's what you do.
Get an abortion, but stay with him. See if he changes.
After another year or so, you'll finally realize that he is not going to change, that his kids are not going to change and that you need to leave.
But at least when you come to that realization, you won't be attached to this guy with a baby.
how do i get an abortion when
how do i get an abortion when im still in the relationship? that will be hard to pull off with an active mate excitd about appts n the baby
You have got to be kidding.
You have got to be kidding. :jawdrop:
How are you going to support THREE people when this relationship ends????
Took the words right out of
Took the words right out of my mouth Gold. In reading the replies, you'd think this forum was filled with a bunch of perfect people (and perfect birth control).
Wow, you defied science
Wow, you defied science (and/or aren't very fertile and/or didn't have much sex). Great for you! Would you like a trophy with that self righteous smugness?
OH FFS!!! If a SM came here
OH FFS!!!
If a SM came here and posted this same stuff about her 23 year old SD(unwed mom,two kids, two baby daddies and no job), that SD would be BLASTED. Just because the person making the poor choices is a SM, doesn't mean the responses should be any different.
Popping out kids you can't afford to take of is wrong. It doesn't matter if the popper is a BM, SD or SM.
"Popping out kids you can't
"Popping out kids you can't afford to take of is wrong. It doesn't matter if the popper is a BM, SD or SM."
I get that. I'm not saying OP didn't make bad choices. I just know that I've made some big bad choices in my life too so I try not to get all "holier than thou". The last thing an abuse victim needs is berating. This only drives them back to the abuser.
Thank you!!! I am completely
Thank you!!! I am completely overwhelmed and got into a huge blowout argument with him which ended in "saying we were broken up" and him telling me he didnt care if I got an abortion. Then reality set in and I have nowhere to go. I texted my dad secretly filling him in a little who lives in about 10 states over I have ot been able to call him. When I leave i do not want to be out cold on top of his house being almost fully furnished with all of my things from the apt I had before meeting him.The whole living room set, the entire kitchen and 2nd eat in kitchen , the 3 girls have a huge bedroom filled with my daughters furniture besides two beds in the room and in total my daughter and I have 3 closets of shoes and clothing yes this is material items but i is ALL i have I know I was stupid dumb retarded I didnt come to be judged. I let him convince me to sell my car and he told me within a month he would buy me a newer safer vehicle. my car sold for 3000 and i dont have a car months later. When i met him i was working in a club...judge me idc. I was fairly new and was not in any prostitution I did meet him at the club, we fell in love I quit that job started working as a paralegal again he lost his license and my salary was not enough to provide so i quit to assist him with his thriving business. I have lost all of my firneds and alienated myslef over this ma you guys have no idea how on the nail you are with abuser. In a manipulative way not physical, but just feel stuck. Im such an idiot. I had a great routine with my life my best friend and I were modeling and even did a commercial together we were paid for appearances, I even lost her as a friend. My life is in shambles because i was such a dumb ass.
Thank u marie!
Thank u marie!
You are far from a dumb ass.
You are far from a dumb ass. You are a beautiful young 23yo woman with a profession you can fall back on. When I was 23 I was recently married to a toxic slut whore from hell who made my life a living hell for 2.5 years. She eventually was prosecuted along with the rest of her family for embezzlement and is now in the process of paying her $2mil share of the civil suit that the victim won against my XMIL and all of the family. Fortunately I was 19 years out of that marriage when my XMIL went to prison and my XW got nailed for the $2mil. Even more fortunate is that we did not spawn.
You have a shot to get out of your situation baggage free and can move on much more quickly than I could. When we divorced I sold my business and went back to school full time to finish my degree. 4 years later I finally graduated. As a paralegal you have the ability to support yourself and your daughter and to fund more school if you choose. Model too if you wish. But, that won't last forever so having a profession to fall back on is a good idea. Enough parenting from me but keep all of your options in mind.
As a man I cringe and am disgusted by how big of POS your sperm donor is. I concur with the advice that you need to end any connection with this man. See if your dad will catch a plane, help you rent a U-Haul, load up your stuff and move the 10states away. Go see planned parenthood ASAP and reset your life until you find a man worthy of you and who will be an equity life partner rather than a controlling, isolating, manipulator.
My college GF chose to terminate her pregnancy or I would have a 31yo child and would have spent countless dollars on CS. Fortunately I did not spawn with my XW or I would have spent a couple of decades paying CS for a child or several with that toxic woman.
My amazing bride and I just celebrate our 20th anniversary. We met when her son was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. My wife went on to complete her dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is now a CPA. We are a team, equity life partners and we raised her son together. As an equity life partner I was also an equity parent to the Skid. Within a marriage the partners should be not only equity partners but also equity parents to the children in the home regardless of their biology.
I mention our situation only because you are young and have the opportunity of an amazing life ahead of you. There is no reason for you to condemn yourself and your daughter and any future children to a tragic life with a controlling manipulative asshole. My bride was a young single teen mom who put the toxic Sperm Idiot far behind her and moved on to an amazing life. She was 18 when we married and I am proud to have supported her goals as she has mine. We were unable to have more children but we raised an amazing young man together. Our son (my SS) is now 22 and doing great. Both my bride and our kid have put the toxic Sperm Idiot far behind them. Our age difference is very similar to the one you have with your hopefully STBX. She just turned 39 and I am 50. An older guy does not have to be an abusive, manipulative, asshole.
Just make sure the next partner you choose is a man of character and preferably with no baggage from previous relationships. I have no BKs and have never considered my SS to be baggage. I knew when I asked his mom to marry me that I was also committing to be his dad. I have been his dad ever since. Find a guy who will commit to you and your daughter and together have an amazing life.
You have a profession to fall back on once you are free. Being a paralegal gives you options that someone without that qualification would not have in your situation. Do not lament your mistake with this man. Learn from it and move on. Terminating your pregnancy is a decision that only you can make regardless of what this asshole thinks. Do not let him intimidate you into a lifetime of being his victim and brood mare.
When you have reset and are back in touch with the ims0marilyn you like being the right partner will enter your life. A partner who will be your equity life partner, an equity parent to your child and to any children you will have together, a partner who will support your goals and who will contribute as much to your life as you do to his.
If you choose to go back to work in the entertainment industry make sure to use your legal background to do a background check on any future partners you meet while working before you take a step of permanency with them. Both you are your daughter deserve you diligence in making sure the next guy is a good man of character to share a future with.
I apologize for my long rambling but your situation is one that resonates with me as it is in many ways very similar to what my bride went through before we met.
Good luck.
Take care of yourself.