I finally left
I finally got up the courage to leave my wife and 2 ss yesterday. One is 11 and I swear he needs a skirt rather than jeans. Loooonnnggg story. The other is 12the other is 12 and is violent and his came at me four times. I have put up with this for over a year and I also have a two and a half year old son of my own that I get one week on one week off. I came to the realization with my wife that it was never going to change. She is such a negative angry person. Everything is always somebody else's fault my 12 year old step son stole over $3000 from his grandmothers credit cards and from my business card I told her either we pressed charges or I was leaving she decided to press charges only after that since then we've had syrupy for him at the house and Thursday night was the last straw he got up angry from the table and went to come at me. This is after I have spent out of my own pocket 500 on football equipment and going to his gains for him. He is a very emotionally angry manipulative lying person. I quit paying my child support to my two other children when we got together to catch the bills up I was supposed to start paying it 6 months ago again and yet have yet to pay my ex wife. I have two children with my ex wife has custody of their also 11 and 12 in another state. I wash custody when i join the army and she left me. I have been through a rough few years since coming home from the Army and got clean and sober a year and a half ago. It got to the point that I would cringe at the thought of coming home because I could not stand the voices of the two children knowing that they have lied the whole day and they basically get rewarded for it over the past month I kept deflecting it back to their mom for punishment or anything else. Now staying at my sisters with her roommate and their 3 kids and I am more relaxed than I have been in 6 months I get to go pick up my two and a half year old tonight and spend a whole week with him. My brave is told me on numerous occasions it was an inconvenience to pick him up from daycare when we had him.I finally hit it. After his last visit realizing that I refuse to let him grow up in a home where his step mom is so angry about everything all the time and literally Knitpicks every little thing he does. I'm not saying this to defend my son because kids will be kids and I am harder on him then I was on my own stepson.the funniest thing is is my wife asked my best friend of 20 years how I was with my two oldest children. I had custody for 6 months when I came home from the Army and we will made it together. We were like the gay couple without the sex with you kids laugh out loud. She was expecting to hear horror stories instead she got an earful of how wonderful my kids were how they were straight a students how they clean their rooms how they were up at 6 every morning brush her teeth and dressed by 630 in this was at seven and eight years old. I am not by any means saying I am perfect but after the last year and a half of my life I refuse to live an angry bitter life. I guess I could see I feel guilty for leaving considering I just got off the phone with her but it sounds crazy I don't. There are so many more issues with her kids it is it. That I am afraid to even have my two and a half year old there. I gota go for now to pick him up ill check back later.
Wait.... you have 2 kids you
Wait.... you have 2 kids you stopped paying child support on.... and you HAD another??? WTF, dude?
^^^THIS ^^^ and what does
^^^THIS ^^^
and what does this comment mean? "One is 11 and I swear he needs a skirt rather than jeans."
You can't make such a homophobic comment and not explain yourself.
It wasnt meant to be
It wasnt meant to be homophobic. My daughter didnt even cry thsy much. He does it for attention all the time so mom and grandma will get him what he wants. I told him I was going to get pull ups for him the othet night. He dosnt like it because thoses tricks dont work on me. Thats all. Was not meant by anymeans to be homophobic. I have tried and tried to calmly talk with him many times with no sucess. Its so frustrating.
So he wets the bed? Have you
So he wets the bed? Have you tried to find out why? There could be a medical problem. As the parent of a transgender person, I also found your comment rather offensive.
Dude, I'm trying to read
Dude, I'm trying to read through your post but can't figure out some of the words you're using. "she decided to press charges only after that since then we've had syrupy for him at the house and Thursday night was the last straw"
syrupy??
"I get to go pick up my two and a half year old tonight and spend a whole week with him. My brave is told me on numerous occasions it was an inconvenience to pick him up from daycare when we had him.I finally hit it."
Dude, are you saying it was inconvenient to go pick your son up? :O And what does "I finally hit it" mean?
My wife said it wad an
My wife said it wad an inconvenience for her to pick him up. I pick my son and one of hers up everday.wow I just reread the syrup part lol sorry. We have therapy at the house for the 12 year old.I finaly hit the point of frustration and lack of empathy. Im up at 430am every morning getting my son up at 5 to take him to daycare the get the oldest skid up and then leave. I pick 2 of the three kids up after work. 1 hers and 1 mine. Then i make dinner everynight. Sorry about any confusion.
R u drunk ???
R u drunk ???
Sorry about the confusion.
Sorry about the confusion. Im learning to use my voice command on my phone and I was pressed for time. To clarify my x wife got pregnant by a former employee of mine when I joined the army. I lost everything. One year later I was able to get a hardship discharge. I came back to the only place I had family in michigan homless. I bust ass for a couple months hire 2 lawyers with money I saved. 1 for MI and 1 in IN. I got custody and had it for 6 months whole battling her in court. I ran outa money and became homeless. Thats the condensec version. After they went back to there moms I recived news a good friend whosecompany I was in was deployed and killed. I hit what a crosd roads in my life and turned to the bottle for the next two years. I met my sons mom and she got pregnant by accident a month later. I tried to sober up to no avail for the next year and a half. I finaly had enough only after putting a hose from my exhaust in my mouth inside my van. I went to get help for my problems and my sons mom moved s guy in two hours latet and turned to craigslist and prostitution. Hollywood cant write this stuff. I get out stay clean and sober and while proving he was my son in the court sysyem (dna yest) she looses him to fostet care. I met my now wife at the begining of sll this after getting sober. I either was blind or didnt want to see the situation I was in when we got serious and got.married.what I mean by her son needs a skirt is the fact he is a good kid but cries aboit EEVERYTHING. And thats only the begining of it. The answer as to why I stoped my support is that my wife who is a type 1 diabetic lost her health insurance for a couple of months due to a corporate take over at the property she runs. Also when I went to get help I lost everything again. Home, car, cloths everything. So ive been over the past few years playing catchup and now I bring it up to my now wife
thatI have to start paying it again and she goes nuts on me. All the while im helping pay for two boys who constantly lie,Manipulate wont even do the simplest chore. Thats only the small stuff. We have to lock the cubbords due to the 12 yr old eating for comfort. The beging of this post is not a pity party or poor me by anymeans. Just a history. Through all of this I had a heart attack and at 34 have had rheumatoid arthritis set in in my fingers, wrists, and ankles. Ugggh lol. Not one time have I felt sorry for myself or blamed anyone elsr for my problems. Im generally a very happy optimistic person. The glass is always full. 1/2 full of air and 1/2 full of water. My now wife and her boys have sucked almost all happiness out of me. I have been insulted verbally and physically by the 12 year old and am constantly put down by my wife. The charges were only pressed one the 12 year old aft er I threatened to leave. It has been hell since. Friday i finaly gave up. The 12year old lied aboit detention and getting kicked outa math class. The principal called me at work. Im so fed up. I build houses and I love what I do even if im in severe pain everyday. I took both of them to work with me this summer and I had err to defend yhete laziness to the guys. Omg was thsy embarrassing. I keep getting scaytered brained here because I havnt had a soul to talk to except those 3. My wife even keeps tract ok my texts and calls online. She has the parent phonrle on the contract. Ive been accusef of cheatong so many times only to prove it was a supplier or a coworker I called. Ive been asked why I called my mom on lumch. The list goes on and on. I would rather go through anothdt 15 weeks at FT Benning again than this. Im laying here with my 2 1/2 year old right now at my sisters houselooking for places for him and I. Im looking forward to my xwife getting money for my kids again. I mean for fk sakes is it y hat hard to be happy. Life is way to short to bitch and be angry at everyone my whole life. Sorry for the scattered brained post. I had to get it out. There is so much more about why I lefy but ths ts the jist. I hope I clarified a few things.
X wife is pissed as is
X wife is pissed as is understandable. I dont qualify for benifits as I didnot complete my full term of service. I can handle health issues. Heck my wife was in the hospital with a severe double kudney infection for 2 weeks then they accidentally overdosed her on her insulin and had to rush her to the ICU for 3 day. The whole time I balanced the 2 skids and slept on the hospital room floor next to her bed. The more I think this theough I am more affarid that the 12 yr old will harm my 2 yr old or will lie saying ive done something. He already lies for sympathy the the social worker atc school and has beat his little to a pulp more than once. I cannot nor will I risk it.
Its funny you bring up cps.
Its funny you bring up cps. My 2 year year olds mom lost him to fostet care. I just got 50/50 legal and physical custody of him after a year long fight. I had to jump through so many hoops itsnot even funny. Trust me when I say I never want to go through that again. I appreciate any and all advice I can get. Thsts most of my wifes problem. She is so bitter and angry all the time that she gives up on gettingher sons help or herself at the first sign of defeat. I know what defeat os and I refuse to be beaten down anymore. U can only take so many goose eggs from beating your head on the wall before you knock yourself out .
Nope not drunk by anymeans. I
Nope not drunk by anymeans. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. The posts are over a year of frustration coming out thats all. I have so many things I keep running through my head. Things that I am realizing now but didnt see when we met. If anybody is confused about my post pleae just ask. Its my first night away from the chaos and drama. Im so relaxed and sooooo enjoyed the evening with my son. Life is what u make it. Im going to make mine good. Ive just came to the point that if you want to be negative and bring me down I dont need it.
The worst part is I was
The worst part is I was discharged 1 weeks to yhe day before my unit left for Afghanistan. I was in the infantry and live fire trained up to the point of leaving. They didnt know if my discharge was going to go through. I was stTioned in germany. The hard part is I have to neet with her tonight. Were going to talk. Ugggggg whiskey tango foxtrot. Its not sinking into her head any of the reasons I left at all. I calmly explained them for over four hours on two seperate occasions. Im just going to make it simple and short tonight. A night full of guilt trip texts was enough for me. I do know one thing. After I got help and cleaned up over a year ago I am thankful for yhe mindset the infantry gave me mentaly and physically. I have tried to explain to her my concerns about the 12 year old and all I het is " you know he had issues". That part is true but what I didnt know and wont accept is that he is a very evil manipulative young man. I felt so horrible and guilty when I told her about that part of why im leaving and have tried to refrain from bringing it up again. I dont want to hurt her feeling as a mothet but omg wake the fk up. I feel so cold hearted but im just done. I will not risk my future or my son.
Fedupskiddad- you've been
Fedupskiddad- you've been through some hell and come out on the other side. Hope things keep improving for you.
Applause for taking the
Applause for taking the responsible action to protect your young child and get back to paying your CS on your eldest two. Sometimes a new spouse proves to not be the person we thought they were.
My XW was one of those choices that I am very glad I have put far behind me. I thought I was marrying a dynamic, energetic, brilliant, and beautiful life partner. What I ended up waking up with after our wedding night was a psychotic adulterous whore skank who was far from the woman she had presented herself to be during our dating and engagement years. My entire family was enamored with her while we dated and when we first married. It did not take long for reality to set in for me and for the rest of my family.
Fortunately that marriage only lasted 2.5 years and we had no children together. Though she was pregnant at the time she filed for divorce. With the child of her geriatric Fortune 500 Executive sugar/baby grandpa daddy. She lost that spawn but quickly wombed up to spawn 2 more out of wedlock children with Granpa Sugar/Baby Daddy. Eventually he married her but that did not last long. Then she got pregnant in an adulterous relationship and had her 3rd out of wedlock spawn. She and the rest of her family were targeted in a federal fraud investigation for embezzling $millions from my XMIL's employer and she is still paying back $millions in a civil settlement that the business owner won when he sued the whole family to get his money back. Fortunately I was 19 years past that marriage when my XMIL went to federal prison and the family got nailed with a high 7 figure civil award to repay.
Sometimes the hardest and best decision is to put the toxic bullshit behind you and move on.
Take care of yourself and your children.
Good luck.
Wow and I thought loosing
Wow and I thought loosing everything twice wss bad. I know i have to stand my ground and stay gone this time. It sounds weird but I dont want to hurt my wife mostly because of the hurt and pain ive been througj but I cannot risk what is at stake this time. Stories like yours give me hope and a lottle courage to know im doing the right thing. Thank you
There really can be a great
There really can be a great do over marriage story. My amazing bride and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary. We both were able to put toxic past relationships behind us and make an amazing life together while raising a young man of character to viable adulthood (my SS-22).
Take care of yourself and your kids. When you are fully reconnected with the man you like being you will find your happily ever after.
I did.
Update Well went to my
Update
Well went to my sisters for a week.the wife and I t as lked the whole week and met with our pastor. We discused many issues we had including my major points of concern. During that werk my 2 1/2 year old bio mom called and asked me to keep him another week due to het having to finda place to live WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT. You have a place to live. She cannot at 29 deal with her parents rules and so now has relapsedn thays ok because my wife and I have woeked out our issues. We now our prayers and bible devotionals everynight togethet. And I had to let go a little and let her be a mom and not be so protective over my son. We movef out of our rental last weeked and in with my MIL who is a very amazing woman. We also discussed my problem with my ss12 and concerns and o told her flat out that look if im there dad and am going to adopt them then i need to be able to act and be backed as therr dad. Well that was tested yesterday when on the way (aftet working outside in the cold rain all day) to my ss12 probation appointment I get a call from his vice principal saying he had been suspended until next Tuesday for threating to choke and bomb a kid and tellin him " I know where u live". Well hea going to find out how cold it is writimg and doing homework in a cold truck for toses days on yhe jobsite is. I have come to the conclusion that come hell or high water he will sink or swim. He is a very good kid thst was just never taught boundaries. I had to bluntly ask my wife infront of him last weekend while moving if she was married to him or me. He kept trying to make decisions about the move and butting in on our conversation aboit what to pay off first on the credit report ( moved in with MIL to pay off some debt to get a RD mortage) and he started to get a tude and she bluntly told him l" look your 12 . You dont pay for anything you dont have a say in any of this please butt the hell out.) Yes momma stood up to him. I about fell off the porch I wad so suprised. I know the road is going to be tough but I do love my wife. We filed for an emergency hearing to get full custody of my 2 year old and on top of that I talked to my xwife and have startef making support payments and am waiting on a response to an email I sent my to oldest. I know it is going to be a long road but aftet everything I have been through this is a cake walk.i have to admit that 1 1/2 years ago when I xhecked myself in for 3 weeks to get help and walked away from my old friends and life that lifevwould be this interesting but its been an amazing journey. Sorry about skipping around it wad 430 am when I startec to weite this. I get up everymorning at 430 am for a half hour of peace and quiet lol. On a side note my ss11 has almost quit tearing up and crying to get his way after I started taking his cloths and bagging them up and told him we were going dresd and diaper shoping. Lol he is now tsking a deep breath and rezlizing he cannot manipulate a situation with tears. Guess whst kid ypur 11 not 3 so get over it. My 2 yr old dosnt cry thst much. I got so fed up with it I asked him if his mangina hurt. He looked at me and laughed and said no lmao. I love the boy so much. I find myself getting so angry at there bio daf for what he did to these to young men. For all intensive purposes s they are good boys thst just need some guidance. Btw on a side note why in the hell does it cost almost 500 dollars for just the paperwork to get filed .for the adoption. Like I said sorry about skiping around so much. Its now 515 am and I gta get a 12 year ild up and get a 2 yeat old in the shower before daycare. Oh oh almost forgot. 2 yr olds bio moms parents are totaly on my side this time in court. Ill updatr this werkend about the judges decesion. Sorry about the spelling and grammer. Im doing this on my android and type with my thumb. Dosnt sound bad till u realize shreks thumbs arnt this big and im also limited on time. Lol
Oh btw its now 520 am and
Oh btw its now 520 am and ss12 is SO NOT happy lmfao. Hope your cold day in my truck gets your tude straightened out. Lmao.