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On my way to disengagement and healing from the jerks!

stepmomdavis's picture

So I am still recuperating from my surgery I have a condition called Bradychardia that causes my heart rate to be dangerously low. They don't know why yet.

My DH insists that each week his children come over for dinner. Whether I am sick or not. The idea is called Grandma night and it is to "get them together with their grandmother". Who has really advanced Alzheimers and does not recognize any of us. She also seems to be very stressed when she is here, but this is another sad issue.

When I am well, and before I started disengaging, I would buy all the food. clean the house and cook it for everyone. The week after my surgery I made them all go to Grandma's house. This week, I had bought regular groceries as one of my few trips out of the house while healing. I bought burrito fixings. My DH said he would cook and I had to drive my biological son to the train. Which I enjoy as it gives us time to chat. I told them goodbye. I would be right back for dinner.

I was gone for about 30 minutes. When I came in the house i saw all the empty bowls on the table and even the pecan pie for dessert was almost gone! They had eaten all of the food and left me nothing but lettuce and some tomatoes! I was outraged. I leave for 30 minutes and you eat all of the food with no consideration for me. What the hell? I was pissed. I let my DH have it. I usually wait until his rotten kids are out of the room but I couldn't take it anymore. I told them how I could not believe they would eat all of the dinner which I had bought. I let it fly. I said fine. I will take myself out to dinner and stormed out.

My DH followed me. He kept babbling about how he wasn't sure I was coming back. Right, I have barely left the house in 2 weeks but I did not want to eat! I call BS. What a jerk. I told him I was leaving and going out and he flipped me off! So I took myself out to this great mexican restaurant. ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and ordered a killer margarita which I can now have as I am off my medication from surgery.

Jerks, all of them. But I had a lovely time and came home more than 2 hours later. He acted like nothing had happened. I went upstairs and looked for work on my computer.

Evil stepmonster's picture

Maybe their grandma night can be your margarita night. Invite some friends to come, make it a weekly thing. The relaxation of it could possibly help in your recovery. Good for you for standing up for yourself. They, mainly your DH should be ashamed of themselves.

weekendwidow's picture

^^^GREAT idea. Use that night for a mental health break for yourself.

How unbelievably inconsiderate of your DH and what a piss poor message he sent to your skids; that you aren't important. B.S. I'm so sorry that they hurt you like that. Hugs.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I would be livid!!!!! Esp if I was only two weeks out from surgery. OMG what a poor example to set for the kids!

~ Moon

sandye21's picture

It was bad enough that the lot of them were so 'piggish' that they could not leave you anything to eat, and left the dishes for you to clean. But your DH's response to all of this was terrible. The day my DH flips me off, he will require surgery to remove his finger from his rear end.

Do not do anything else for this lot. I agree with the others - invite friends over and have margaritas while DH is entertaining his 'scumbreds'.

IslandGal's picture

Your DH is an inconsiderate jerk of an asshat and he is showing his kids how to be exactly that - way to go, DH!

I agree with posters recommending you make it a "margarita night" - you deserve it so go and enjoy it!

stepmomdavis's picture

I had a heart monitor in my chest. They took it out. I will probably have to have a pacemaker.

stepmomdavis's picture

Hi Cat. He owns the house. It is not in my name. When I ask him to add me he says he wants his kids to have it. I am looking for work. Don'y you worry. I have one foot out the door.