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But I'm so cute and awesome!!! (NOT)

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

So SD13 had her iPod Touch taken away by DH almost two weeks ago when I asked about a dinky F on a class assignment. Since then the bad grades have snowballed, and DH has stepped up. He askes SD13 to check her grades and report to him, to show him the individual assignment grades. Last week DH yelled bloody murder at ME when there was an F in SD13's art class. She forgot to hand in her project. As well as an English essay.

So, last night SD13 is hovering around DH like a fly on shit as soon as he walks in the door from work. The man is trying to get a bite to eat and unwind from an hour commute. SD13 asked when she would have her privileges back, because he has banned her from the computer, too. DH told her, "I'll let you know....." Oh SD13 didn't like that. I'm just sitting there, listening, as I have learned from my ST friends to just watch the show. It was hard not to giggle because SD13 was just being ridiculous. She sat down with us and a few minutes later DH tells her if nothing new comes up this week, then she can have her iPod Touch back on Saturday. You know, because SD13 says she "needs" it for her classwork at school. Why bother, if you don't even turn the work in? She is a moron, doing the work and forgetting to hand it in, or even put her name on it a lot of times lol.

As of last night, there was an F on a science test and no grade posted yet on a 3-part history test, which will be half of her overall grade. I kept my mouth shut and let DH enjoy his evening. As of this morning, the F in science has been updated from 50% (which means not handed in/no name on paper) to a whopping 58%, which still equals, help me out here people, an F! The 3-part history exam was graded as well with a whopping grade of 65%. DH and I have commented to ourselves recently that we NEVER see SD13 studying. I added that she is always playing or loafing around, I have never even seen her do homework this year, and DH has only seen it maybe 2x, because he's asked. She is in 8th grade now, and this is nothing compared to what high school will bring in the future.

DH said not to say anything to SD13, that he will ask her HIMSELF to check her grades online on Friday. Any Ds or Fs are not good in our house -- no excuses. SD13's overall grades are easy As and low Bs in the other classes which will fall even lower, I'm sure. They used to be all As, but the tests are taking their toll. You can't just get good grades on classwork, bomb the tests and skate by. Oh no!

Grea job SD13 for not letting DH down with your new handful of Fs every week. I haven't even mentioned the stupid blue wig that I was supposed to order for Halloween, DH probably thinks I have ordered it, but I see no reason to yet.

"I forgot."

~ Moon

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

I can just smile Smile

I am smiling for you and your well deserved gloating and smirking and wishing it was me Smile

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I am SO smirking over here. I didn't even have to be patient for very long. I told SD13 over the last two years when I helped her with schoolwork that her ass would get handed to her soon.

Badda-F'n-BING! Blum 3

FrackturedBradyBunch's picture

bwaaahahahahahaha

You have given me the best laugh I've had for ages! Biggrin

I love it when I don't have to do a thing and they bury themselves....alas, it doesn't happen much because I have adoring Dad who can see no wrong even when he is punched in the face with it...

So again, I am enjoying your TRIUMPH!

Rags's picture

Lol. Biggrin If it is any comfort, I would not consider it a comfort by the way and neither would my own parents, I was your son at his age. A very high performing intuitive student who did great academically but had zero self motivation. National Honor Society, Society of Distinguished American High School Students, Presidential Classroom for Young Americans, Hugh Obrien Youth Foundation Leadership Seminar, etc, etc, etc.... Valedictorian and Outstanding Graduating Senior of my HS class. Early acceptance to Princeton. I went to a school that was 7th grade through JC-2. Since it was a Military Boarding School the motivation was provided. I took at least one college class each semester from my sophomore year of HS and mostly college classes my Sr. year of high school.

Then I went off to university following high school graduation. There was no external structure. Not a pretty picture for my first two years. I flunked every class my first semester then made straight As the second semester retaking all of the same classes. My parents nearly killed me. The only thing that saved my cumulative GPA during my first two years of college was the nearly 30 semester hours of college credit I had from my HS studies.

After my second year of college I was on my own. Mom and dad would not pay for any of my college studies after I partied and skirted through their money for the first two years.

I was on the 11 year plan for my undergrad. And yes, I was in class every semester for 11 years. I was 20hrs from a BA in economics when I changed to engineering and finally buckled down to graduate. I walked across the stage with my degree 2wks after my 30th birthday. While in college I played college sports (football, track, swimming.)when I was academically eligible. I worked for all but 3 years of my 11 year plan. I matured, I learned, and I finished. Slower than most who finish but I did finish.

I started a business which I ran for 5 years until I sold out to my investment partners and used that money to pay for engineering school. After I put my life savings into my first two years of engineering school mom and dad decided I was serious and helped with my last two years.

If you can keep from strangling him as he matures and finds his own motivation don't sweat too much of his antics. He is will figure it out. He has good parents in his corner who will nudge him in the right direction we he needs it.

That is what got me through.

over step's picture

Last school year SD 14 was well on her way to failing the 8th grade until DH finally stepped up in the last quarter and stayed on SD. Now this year, BM has moved and found out after signing the lease that it is out the current school district. The new district is well known for drug activity so now SD will be taking online class instead of going to school. This will never work as SD has a history of waiting until the last moment to do her homework or just choosing to not turn it in. This situation will only strengthen those attributes.

It's like I'm surrounded by idiots trying to raise a child who is being set up for failure. Then these idiots can't seem to understand why SD is the way she is and clueless(or spineless) to change it.

Rags's picture

It took one consequence to get SS over his "I forgot" stage when he would do his work and not turn it in. One evening at dinner his mom cooked dinner for just she and I. We sat down to eat and SS then 14 asked "Where is mine?". His mom shrugged, made an appropriate face to him and said "I forgot." then immediately sent him to his room to finish his homework. The next AM she informed him that if he forgot anymore assignments that far more than his dinner would be forgotten.

Jsmom's picture

SS was like this, DH rode his ass and took things away. Now he is A's and B's. What worked for DH was making the teachers sign his agenda everyday by the homework written down. That made everyone accountable. Now at 16 he is talking college and taking the PSAT this weekend. Honestly, I am surprised after how bad he was doing in middle school and Freshman year.

kathc's picture

Your DH needs to start telling his kid "Sit at the table and study your history work", "Sit there and study your math" etc. Repeat. Until the grades improve. Does he think she's going to magically decide to start studying on her own? And it's not your job to make her do it, it's his.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

My kids ask me when they can get their things back I just look at them n say ~ do yourself a favor n don't ask me ~ you ask again it is an automatic week longer. So I am sorry ~ what did you want to ask me darling ??

I was at a BBQ n sd was harassing me about when they would be ungrounded ~ told her the same shit. Shut her the f up ~ DF bought tickets for upcoming concert girls were all excited ~ concert day was approaching n girls were punished told DF my dd isn't going cause she is grounded ~ sorry concerts are a want not a need. Needless to say ~ neither girl went n apparently DF said the concert was amazing. Bottom line ~ don't F with me !

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I did great in HS, graduated 6th in my class. I also had the fear of God in me and only wanted to please my mom and stepdad, so I aimed high. I think some of us are born with it, and I thank my granddad for that! With SD13 I did everything a "mom" should do for the second half of 6th grade and all of 7th grade with SD13's academics. I sat with her, I taught her, I mentored her, I gave her advice on how to remember facts, etc. Stupid me. What was I thinking? In one ear and out the other, although she did get good grades. Then I realized this past summer that I was the only one parenting this child, and I didn't mind. SD13 and I were joined at the hip since BM died when she was 11. Then puberty hit. I was done. I told DH he had to step up.

All of the grades are just swirling down the drain. DH has stepped up immensely in the past three weeks because I refuse to. I told him I had the first year and a half of school, and his kid won't listen. So, he's holding her accountable. Tomorrow night should be interesting when DH reviews the grades online with SD13. }:) }:) }:)

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I got home today and SD13 was on the computer which is off-limits. She said she spoke with DH to get permission and told him of her history grade, the 3-part 65% test. She was making a study table which looked like it had been made by a 3rd grader. She is used to doing absolutely nothing. I told her that unless she changed her tune, she would be repeating 8th grade. She didn't like that.

Meanwhile, there is the F on the science test that she didn't mention, English hw due tomorrow, art due tomorrow and a re-do of parts of the history test because "a lot of students didn't understand it." Uh-huh.

Meanwhile, little stink bomb hasn't showered since Tuesday and I'm not reminding her. I think I'll go use all of the hot water myself.

~ Moon }:) }:)

twoviewpoints's picture

Why doesn't her father check the grades online himself instead of having SD check and report to him x amount of times? If the guy is seriously worried about his daughter failing and doing this crappy on her test and daily assignments why isn't he doing more on a nightly basis to be certain the kid is doing her work.

I don't 'buy' the ridiculous excuse of forgetting to turn a paper in. How does one do the work, put it in her folder, go into class the next day watching all the other kids turn in their homework , but forget to turn in their own? It's BS. She didn't do it in the first place.

No name on paper therefore no credit for doing an assignment? Again, BS. The kid needs to be taught to put her name the every first thing onto the paper. One doesn't sit down to a plate of dinner and tackle the food without first picking up the silverware to shove it into the mouth. Putting a name (and first thing) on a piece of paper can become just as automatic if someone takes the time to initially insist on it and reinforce it until it does become habit.

So much of my DD's school work is on the computers (even some of the text books) that I could never totally remove her computer and expect her to be able to do her complete homework. While their school assigned computer remains at school she can log onto it from her home computer and gain access to her work and complete her assignments. I can and do however ban internet surfing and goof off time , She has lost from time to time the fun part of playing around on her computer as a consequence , but not the necessity usage to be able to read/complete her school assigns. This pitching this part out in case your SD really does need limited access to a computer even if grounded from it.

It's not your place to assist your Sd with her school work nor to supervise and fight with her over doing it. Nope. That's Dad's job. If he gets angry enough she's failing her courses, he needs to step up and oversee the work. Not just take her word for it and not just phones away. He's going to have to become proactive and hands on or shut up and let her fail. It's is kid. His choice.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD13 and DH usually look at the grades together now. Yep, so she will probably fail. I was there for her in 6th and 7th grade and this year I let her put her big girl pants on. Disengaged as best I could last July. You see how well she's doing without me sitting there with her. This is only halfway through the first marking period too.

Skid is a moron. I just told her a little while ago that she had it easy. Asked her why she didn't get all of her chores done today? She said she was studying. Bullshit, She studied for maybe 45 minutes until I got home, then goofed off, then ate, then holed herself up in her room. DH isn't home from work yet, so I told her every chore she skipped today needs to be done tomorrow. I'm not going into another fucking weekend of this Skid sitting around the house on her ass.

I have to keep my house neat, you know? }:) }:) }:) Plus it gives me something to hold over her head. Oh you think DH ordered the rest of your Halloween costume?

I offered to do it but I haven't gotten around to it. Oh hell no.

~ Moon