Have any of you "won" custody of your steps?
I know I've read a few stories on here of people winning custody of their steps. What is your story? Dh has an appt tomorrow with a lawyer and he's going to ask if it's even a possibility to get custody from Bm. There CO only establishes Child Support, that Bm and Dh have Joint legal Custody and that she's the Custodial parent. Other than that, nothing. They never did a parenting plan so there isn't anything in that aspect to ammend. Right now Bm is not working (receiving state assistance/bf supporting her), has been out of work since april-ish, she has on more than one occassion said she cannot handle Ss son financially and wants Dh to do more (right now he pays max support) she's also called Dh on numerous occassions stating all her medical issues and how she needs help. Dh has been keeping documentation but he doesn't have like "proof" so to speak-like he doesn't have videos/recordings or anything like that. He just has dates of calls/interactions. I'm just curious what happened in your situtations and what caused Bm to lose custody?
I should add, this isn't
I should add, this isn't about money for Dh, He is concerned for his son. Ss has been stating recently how sick his mom is and that she sleeps until the nighttime but that her bf takes care of him. Dh feels that Ss would have more consistancy if he lived with us full time.
You need to prove a change in
You need to prove a change in the circumstances of the custodian or child that makes the current parenting arrangement no longer in the best interests of the child. I would start by taking all the extra time you can.... and document the reasons. It might be hard to prove if it is a medical condition, and depending on the condition itself. Do you know what her medical problems are?
Our situation was BM was using drugs, multiple criminal charges, moved while trying to hide it from DH, and eventually SS got caught in the middle of several domestic disputes and got hit during one of them by the boyfriend. DH ended up getting SS through a safety plan by DFS and then the day of court BM showed up without a lawyer begging for a continuance, the judge denied. She settled to change custody to DH primary custodian, her pay 100 a month in child support and she gets every other weekend and they must use OFW for communications. Since court she requested 1 time to change her weekend, he replied and nothing more from BM. She doesnt call SS she doesnt pick him up for her visitations nothing.
I don't know if my experience
I don't know if my experience helps at all. SD had stomach issues related to stress (she was actually hospitalized for it) and ended up in intensive outpatient therapy. The therapist recommended she move in with us, SD wanted that as well, so the therapist made the recommendation to BM. We didn't win in "court" per se, although DH did get the custody agreement legally changed - it was more BM agreed to it. (Although her "agreement" was a freaking nightmare in and of itself!)
Honestly, from what I can see, unless your DH has proof that BM is actively and significantly harming the child in some way, judges like to keep the status quo. Be careful about believing the lawyer blindly too - some will tell you that you've got a "good chance" because it means they get a lot more work from you ($$$).
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^ Any
^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^
Any lawyer is going to tell you that it sounds like you have a great chance of winning, now please provide a $10,000 retainer and this might cost up to $15,000, is that ok? Then you end up spending $25,000 and the lawyer says, "Well, judges don't like removing kids from their mothers" after you lose.
we tried for joint a year ago
we tried for joint a year ago and failed.
SD13 was doing poorly in school, bad sleep habits, bad food/nutrition habits.
but again she wasnt being abused or neglected in the court's eyes.
we also didnt fight to the bitter end as the writing on the wall was pretty clear.
given what a twatwaffle my SD has turned into im forever grateful we dont have her 50%.
Hubby is going for full right
Hubby is going for full right now. I can tell you how it goes in December.
Reasons he is going
*DUI twice (did 30 days in jail cuz of it)
*homeless
*jobless
*in drug rehab
*carless
*stabbed someone for not giving her a ride home (a stranger no less) - might serve jail time for this one, will know in December as well.
We have all the documentation for proving everything. 35 pages worth. Fun times. :sick:
My Dh has residential
My Dh has residential custody, joint legal. He got this in the beginning due to BMs violence and neglect. Over time she has lost more rights/visitation due to this continuing with her new guy.
Document everything, take all the extra time with SS you can and document it. If you can prove that BM is either a danger, or that DH is doing majority of the parenting anyway then a judge may consider. If his worry for his mother is stressing him out, get him in therapy. The therapists notes are evidence as well. They can even testify.
My husband always had custody
My husband always had custody of his kids. He was the better, more stable parent at the time of divorce.
My good friend (male) just got custody of his son and his son is 12. The boy moved in with him 6 months ago, and right at the 6 month mark ( establishing a status quo) he filed for custody and got it. She couldn't even fight it as the boy was living with him for 6 months.
Going that route may be better for your husband. He will still have to pay support but the boy will be living with him. You will have to weigh legal cost vs child support and the child will be living with him.
It is HIGHLY unlikely that
It is HIGHLY unlikely that your dh will get custody based on bm being ill and having no job/asking for money.
Is there food in the house? Does ss get to school, have clothes, medical care as needed while with bm?
It makes no difference that she is mom, what matters is that courts don't like to make a change unless there is something significant that has changed and makes the other parent unfit/harms the child. And they want to see proof.
How long has mom been sick? How long may her illness continue?
A judge is not likely to see any of the things you listed as harmful or as significant changes AND you don't even have proof of any of it.
You likely are just going to waste a lot of time and money in court.
If dh is just worried about ss, he can offer to take ss as often as needed until bm is feeling better.