Religion/church question
Dh told bm that sd's sunday school class was starting back up for the fall and that he will be taking her his weeks and sd was welcome to go bms weeks if she wanted. She also attends an evening youth group on one of his weeknights.
Bm had not said okay directly, but acknowledged it during discussion of a switch by saying she would pick sd up later than she had requested (it was a schedule change) so that sd wouldn't miss her class (on dh's day).
Also, in the past, bm allowed sd to go on her days.
Well... now bm is saying she not only won't allow sd to go on her days, she does not want sd going HIS days.
She says because he didn't get her consent, he is in contempt of court if he continues to take her. Which is bull, as he informed her and she did not object and she acknowledged that she knows he is taking her and even accomodated the schedule just two weeks ago. (There is NOTHING direct in their court order detailing religious training/extracurriculars)
He knows he can't force bm to allow sd to go during her time, but can she block him from taking her during HIS time? Has anyone dealt with this?
FYI: it is a pretty liberal, mainstream denomination. Also we are very accepting of bm's beliefs (athiest) and are careful to always present our own in a way that will not make her mom look "wrong" or make sd feel like she has to choose sides.
If it doesn't directly
If it doesn't directly discuss religion in the CO, I would treat it like every other extra curricular. If seh wants to make a big deal about it, let her. Its her dime
If there is nothing in the
If there is nothing in the CO, then I think you can do what you want on your days but not force BM on her days. She can take it to court if she wants. We went to court two years ago and church was one of the issues. DH was ordered to take the skids to church on two of the three weekends a month he has the skids. The judge ruled that since the skids went to church when BM and DH were married that it was in their best interest for this to continue. DH vehemently disagreed but his lawyer told him there wasn't anything he could do. DH wasn't opposed to church, just the principal that BM was controlling what he did when he had the skids. In your case, it would be in your favor that SD has went in the past I think. We are in NY. Not sure if that matters.
i agree with others.
i agree with others.
Yeah, if it's not in the CO
Yeah, if it's not in the CO then you can't make her take SD on her days - but she also can't tell DH what to do on HIS days either. I'd just continue to take her on your time and not talk to BM about it. It's not like you need her permission at this point.
Its dad's time. BM and her
Its dad's time. BM and her opinion and attempts to control what SD does on dad's time can fuck off. Unless otherwise outlined in the CO of course.
I agree with what others have
I agree with what others have said. BM can't dictate what activities your husband does with SD on his time.
"I called the lawyer, he is
"I called the lawyer, he is in contempt, if he had paid or allowed it prior, he can not suddenly dis-allow her an activity."
i actually dont agree with this philosophy.
I'm with you. Just because
I'm with you. Just because something happened in the past, does not mean it has to happen in the future. We have been told this by our lawyer and the judge we had and we disagreed with it. Too often, the court system puts the COD in a "plastic bubble" and acts like nothing can change for them. How insane. Things change for everyone all the time. It makes no sense to say it doesn't apply to children of divorce. They use the same argument for child support when saying you have to keep the same standard of living. Why? If something changed in a nuclear family, the child's standard of living would change. But because the child is a COD, it can't. Nonsense.