i stay because i love my fiance, i dont want kids of my own, and despite my grumbles and annoyances i consider myself lucky in that my fiance doesnt spend a dime on my SD beyond his monthly CS. lastly, give that she blows off visitation a fair amount of time at age 13 stb 14, i know its only a matter of time before we see her very little. her mother will be content to have her live at home forever, so i highly doubt ill have an adult SD living with us at some point.

I love my husband very much. He can make me laugh like no one else. I also have a DD who is 16 months and I would hate to put her in the same position my SD6 is in. We have a very nice life and rarely fight outside of anything to do with SD and BM. My husband has been working on not being such a guilty parent and as long as he continues doing that I think we will be able to cope. He has also agreed that if BM causes us too many problems that DD is affected in any way, then we will change SD's visitation.

I know a lot of people aren't in a position where they can leave and so they stay because they don't have a lot of options. I guess knowing that I could leave at any time gives me comfort. I don't need my husband for anything other than companionship. I was independent before I met him and it wouldn't be hard to be on my own again if I wanted to.

Love, baby on the way, he's a good man - and it seems those are rare!

I don't know...today I'm having one of those "days" where it's really at the point where, I don't know. I love my husband, don't get me wrong - but I'm tired of the alienation I feel - of being made to feel like "the bad guy" because I don't connect to SD. Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid - but a lot of the time it's like she ignores me, or talks in front of me but only to "Daddy" and I guess after so many weeks, it hurts...so many years...it hurts. So I disengage. I didn't raise her. I didn't care for her as a baby. I came into her life when she was 10 and now she's 13. It hasn't gotten easier. I'm still painted by my husband to be the one with the "problem." If he doesn't come around, if he doesn't TRY to start seeing things my way, I WILL LEAVE. I will not keep on feeling miserable. I will not keep on suffering like this. I will not keep abusing myself by staying. I want my husband to understand. He says he wants to understand. But he doesn't. I also don't see him making any effort to understand what it's like for me - a childless stepmom. It's hard, it's difficult, it's painful...and I'm tired of it...all. I don't want to waste my life over this. If he can't make any effort for me - then I won't make any more effort for him. It's only been an effort for me. I've tried, and I won't try any longer. If I don't see him try to embrace what I feel - mark my words, I will move on. Then he'll know just how many women will be willing to take my place. Then he'll see just how many women will be caring, kind, (albeit a little distant) "stepmoms." He'll see just how good he had it with me. But I'll be loooong gone.

Love makes our challenges worth while, just pure amazing love beyond belief. We are also best friends. There are great financial rewards and security that comes from long term commitment.

The skids are mostly a non-issue, the older one hardly ever comes over since we are not buying her anything or allowing her to skank around, the little one is mostly fine, she has her moments but she is a good kid- the things that I hate about the skids are things that BM has created in them and that is what I resent.

Plain and simple, I love my DH. He and I have been through so many storms and have always come through more in love and better friends than before. SD is just another storm to weather! Disengaging has helped alot! He is getting the point a little, still needs more time!

I love my DH SO much and I'm so attached to him. And he's the same with me. We had fucked up step challenges that could have been mostly avoided if he had created and enforced strict boundaries with BM, his adult daughter and my FIL. DH has made the changes necessary to make things right. The hurt is still there and I'm very, very slowly re-building trust. Very slowly. I told him last night that I don't want to be happy with him, because of all the times I have been hurt by the things he either allowed or that happened because of his lack of boundaries--it's easier to stay upset most of the time than to let down my guard and be blindsided yet again. He gets it. He no longer tells me to "get over it", and is willing to put in the work and patience. My DH is a good man who is not afraid to admit his fault or mistakes and take the necessary steps to correct them. That's why I stay.

Pros:
Love and best friends
Creating stability for the kids, not wanting to put them through another divorce
Not wanting to give up on another marriage over issues that will disappear one day
Want a baby with him

Cons:
SD's are disappointing people to me and don't listen
DH tries, now, to back me up, but it just isn't good enough
No financial security. He makes crap money.
BM is drama. Caused major anxiety in the past
Not really any passion in the bedroom because...
I'm pissed that DH is fucking rude to me.
He also doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. Fun guy.

So I stay for love and keep remembering why we fell in love in the first place and try to work toward that. Hopefully it's just a bump in the road.

Love and my son. When its just us its great but I almost left recently only because I didn't feel like a priority

Love! DH is the love of my life. Our relationship is one of trust, openess, honesty, many of the same likes, mutual goals, and (blush) amazing sex.

The skids are realizing more and more that BioMonster is a lying, cheating, moneygrubbing ho who did their daddy wrong. Doesn't mean they aren't little buttheads and BioMonster still causes plenty of problems, but things are improving little by little.

Bottome line is: I don't give a flying fart in space about crappy skids and a psycho ho BM. I love my DH very deeply. This kind of love is worth fighting for and I'll be damned if I'll leave the love of my life.

I know that my boyfriend's patience and kindness are a direct result of being a dad. The things I love most about him are mostly likely due to the fact that his marriage was awful and he's a dad. It sucks to love someone so much and know that they're the person they are due to a situation you can't stand.