As you said....he wants to back again!!! (Broke up with my fiance over clingy adult FSD - Part II)
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Please check my previous topic "Broke up with my fiance over clingy adult FSD.
As many of you mentioned, he will be back again. Yes he is, wants to continue the relationship..wants to find a way. I read all comments and really appreciate the inputs. I still think I am better without him.
However, did anybody ever had a case when DH/F/BF actually realized their fault, got help/discussed and all went okay?
Would really appreciate your comments in this matter.
My DH has made a lot of
My DH has made a lot of changes and embraced them. It was a difficult road for both of us and still a ways to go, but he really has realized it is best for her as well as the rest of us. He also announced, without my ever asking, that he will not allow her to live us when she gets past 18.
We split up over SD18 - she
We split up over SD18 - she was 14 at the time and it was a special sort of hell at that age. We got back together and because I love my husband, i do not regret it. I have regrets every second week over the lifestyle I have inherited and the consequences of his parenting that visits my home and my life.
My advice is to be very clear in your discussions and setting boundaries. Don't do what I did which is just go back without getting some stuff clear. Cannot tell you how jealous I am of ChiefGrownup for having an undertaking that she will move out at 18. Wow! I would be so happy. Doubt SD nearly 19 would even consider an overseas trip or full time holiday job.
Isn't this the guy your
Isn't this the guy your daughters said was "creepy"? Yuk.
Thanks all for the comments,
Thanks all for the comments, Really appreciate it. He has boundary issues with his adult daughters and maybe enmenshment issues as well. Without professional help I will not attempt to do anything an inch further.
Did anybody try family therapy in situation like this? did it help?
I finally threw my DH out of
I finally threw my DH out of the house over the problems with his adult daughter. I was always the bad guy, he would feel sorry for her AFTER she started trouble with me! Lousy, Goodwill/garage sale Christmas gifts wrapped beautifully and with the disclaimer from her that it was the "thought that counts".
He had to live with her and had his eyes opened wide. Also counseling did lots for him.
He is back home and doing well. The ASD still tries, very hard, to get us back into her tangled world. None of us being perfect and only being human, we have our back and forths about her but counseling helped greatly.
I realize that until the end of our days she is always going to be a burr under the saddle and will never give up.
You have to trust your gut
You have to trust your gut feelings. You wrote that you still think you are better off without him. If you feel that way now, and you go back with him, you will be kicking yourself in the butt for the rest of your life. You also wrote that he has boundary issues with his daughters. What does he propose to improve the situation? You ask about counseling. I went to counseling when I was contemplating a divorce from DH. He wouldn't go so I went by myself. It was one of the best things I ever did. I began to believe I deserved mutual respect from ALL people - including SD and DH. They say if you believe it others will follow. DH did and has more respect for me. SD didn't, it's her loss.