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Twit is Sucking Us Back In. Help - Allegedly she is going to have Gallbladder Surgery -

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh the pity she is looking for, YET being secretive at the same time. Makes her father beg for information which she "just doesn't know or have". Naturally, being her father, he is worried.

Seems she went to the ER a week ago Sunday for stomach pains. Supposedly, they did tests, that weren't conclusive, but they didn't keep her in for more tests etc. YET, she was well enough to drive over 1 hour to drop her hubby off...he went overseas for his company...she always drives because she makes money doing so (as I said cheap, cheap, cheap)

So she called Sunday and let her father in on what she says is going on. Still, according to her, no test results.

Now, my dilemma is that I believe in being there for family, even the Twit, but I don't like game playing. Twit is telling DH that she "doesn't want to inconvenience him" by letting him know the details of when (or IF) but she is SO sick.

There is more that happened before the Sunday she had the pains. Seems she called DH and (sit down for this one) invited us over for dinner on Sunday. Her babies were going to be in along with one of the "babies" girlfriends. DH did ask me if I would like to go and I declined but told him I had no problem at all with him going. He, darling that he is, hugged me and said that if I wasn't going he wasn't either. IMHO, it is interesting that this happened on the day we were invited to dinner.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Anyway, DH is very concerned and worried about her.

Supposedly, if she needs surgery she will drive herself to the hospital, etc. This is nothing more than a poor me, no one loves me, etc. because she "doesn't want to inconvenience SDM"! What a piece of work.

DH is a little frustrated and testy at me because he, well, just doesn't know what to do. Twit is once again making me the problem.

Daddy could help out BUT she doesn't want evil SDM to be "inconvenienced".

And honestly, if she is that bad, then why isn't her hubby back home with her? No company would require someone to be away when the spouse is having surgery.

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

Its for attention. Bm will post and say she is having surgery every other week....does it all the time on facebook.

No one comments anymore and we just ignore it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

May be right. Generally when she goes off the deep end she blames her nasty behavior on her hormones, migraines, not having her meds. Anything but her fault that she is so nasty.

They say narcissist's don't like it when people get their number and what they are, how they operate, and their prey (as they see us) doesn't bother with them. They either move on or try more ways to get the prey back into their net of neurosis.

Ughugh's picture

Tell her to drink lemon water for the next two days, she'll be fine. Lay off the junk food.

What should DH do? Nothing. Take the kids until she feels better, charge her extra CS for the weeks she is off- watch her "get better" soon.

Inviting to dinner? Secrets? She is up to something, and unless it's funeral arrangements, it does NOT concern the two of you. Period.

Delilah's picture

I wondered what outrageous stunt she would pull in order to capture her fathers attention again-tada. She is a liar, she doesnt think anything of you but suddenly she is concerned about inconveniencing you hence the refusal to share pertainent info? So dh has fallen for this? Recommend he rings her dh to get this info, are you seeing your counsellor? If not make an appointment asap as your dh needs help to see the holes in this current situation.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yeah, interesting isn't it. This is IMHO part of the ploy to go for attention. The ole "poor is me, I am sooo sick" drama. As I long ago realized, most of Twit's life is drama....all her family, BM, brother, sister, etc. are always asking her for money and she is supporting all of them. This is a crock of carp, but when DH and I first heard it we felt sorry that every one was leaching on her. And, Twit makes it clear they do it because she and her hubby are so successful

And she is so overwhelmed by all their problems that she just has a hard time dealing with it all. When I heard this one I asked her directly why she gets involved in all their stuff, that if she wanted peace and not to be "stressed out by them" to leave them alone and not listen. Once DH agreed with me on this we never heard any more about it. Why? Because it wasn't true and she wasn't getting her narcissistic needs filled with adulation about how great she must be.

Turns out Twit's bleating about this is all BS. Talk to make her look grandiose and get your admiration and give her sympathy for being such a kind person.

I truly believe that one of the reasons she is out to get me is because I don't buy into this type of carp. I have her number and she knows it. I am an obstacle in her getting her neurotic needs fed by DH.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You did note that this "attack" happened on the day we were invited to dinner and declined. She knew we weren't coming in advance of that day. I wonder if the birds are coming home to roost with her and she is starting to feel pain for what she does now that she doesn't have us jumping circles for her.

Also note.....nothing about watching the pooches etc. Guess drunkie is still there, but heck, he was still there all the other times she inconvenienced us. She can't trust a drunk, as we all know.

So far we have not heard back from her on this and DH has not called to check on her, as I am certain she wants. But DH is quite concerned and worried.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Actually, DH is teed off with Twit's hubby for going overseas on business when she is in such pain and facing surgery. I told him that if something happens he would probably get back asap, but DH is peeved that he is gone.

I think that is one thing that Twit wants, us to think bad of her hubby since he stopped her nonsense with me when she wrote that letter.

Yeah, she let DH know on Sunday and we have not heard a word from her since. Nor has DH called.

At the time she called she talked about her pain and how the meds she is taking make her sleepy. Interesting....no request to take care of dogs or drive her for groceries etc. Drunkie is still there, but we all know you can't rely on a drunk AND he can't drive---no license.

I imagine that she is probably getting peeved that DH isn't burning down the phone or driving over (which he hasn't even suggested to me) to check on her. One more interesting thing....do note that even after this happened she didn't let DH know UNTIL her hubby left. Probably because she was getting attention from him. Now she has to try to get attention from DH.

And who even knows if it is true. I don't know about gallbladders so I don't know if surgery is generally necessary.

hereiam's picture

even after this happened she didn't let DH know UNTIL her hubby left

Probably because it didn't happen. I bet if you could get a hold of her husband (ya know, out of concern) he wouldn't know anything about a trip to the ER.

Like catlettuce said, the ER can get immediate test results, it is not like a doctor's office.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, but definitely! He is overseas in an Asian country right now. I hate to bother him but I will just drop him a line telling him we heard the "news".

Honestly, one never knows what this Twit is going to come up with next.

I think DH is just testy because he is worried. And Twit means him to worry and get worked up which is why she doesn't give details, if there are any to give.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

If there is a GB problem, you are right. But meanwhile she is going for all the attention she can get. Drama Queen. She just has to get Dh's attention back and everything and anything goes.

Thankfully he has not been burning down the phone lines or driving down to check on her. I do believe he, while concerned, might be more attuned to what she is doing that I realize.

But by no means does that mean that he isn't concerned or worried.

Nothing, IMHO, beats the Twit's "poor me ---- my husband is overseas and I am in such pain. Look how great I am for suffering so".

sandye21's picture

Sounds more like she needs an octorectomy: they sever the nerve between the eyeball and that rectum to get rid of that crappy outlook on life. This smells like pure B.S. - again.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sandye - I am laughing so hard at that I can hardly type. Funny and I needed that laugh.

Where do I sign Twit up for this? She certainly could use one if not two operations.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, DH just got off the phone with Twit...she just called. Guess she got results this morning that the GB is not functioning. I am no expert on GB's so I don't know what that means at all. Anyway, supposedly the soonest she can see the surgeon for an appointment to set up surgery is at the end of Sept. Some nonsense about them being short a surgeon at the hospital.

Honestly, getting things second hand from DH is tough as I don't think he really understands all this stuff. All I know is that when I said it must not be too bad because they would have her in right away, he said something to the effect that they would but the soonest she could see the surgeon......

I don't know but IMHO, if it was serious and needed to be taken care of asap it would be. But what do I know.

Guess she is in a tizzy because she has a strict diet and pain killers. THAT strict diet is gonna be tough for her....no philly steaks, quarter pounders, etc.

I overheard DH tell her that if something happens to call him to drive her and not to drive herself, which I believe is good sense, which she has none of.

Tell me, friends, am I right in my thinking on if it was really serious they would be taking care of it right away?

And, needless to say, she is in a crying tizzy and DH is very concerned. He said he is furious with her husband for not being here at such a time.

I haven't emailed her husband yet, will think about things.

SugarSpice's picture

agree with cat on this. gb issues are often when someone has poor eating habits.

i believe that it is important to help someone out with medical emergencies, but sometimes enough is enough.

i think family should be involved but if there is any animosity just keep all communications short and to the point. no need to be pleasant. just pass the facts.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thanks for the info. So, if the GB had completely stopped working, which is what she told DH, then, IMHO, that would be an emergency and not something to be waited on?

This is what I mean by game playing and being coy. She so loves the attention one can never really know if this is really serious or just a ploy for attention.

After prodding DH for details, I now understand that she drove herself to the hospital that first week and had that dye injection test. Hmmm, I wonder about that too, but what do I know.

Anyway, she told DH they didn't detect it with an MRI or blood work.

But, if the GB has stopped functioning that seems to me to be very serious and not something to be waited on.

Just trying to put pieces together to make sense of Twit's blabbing.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Okay, I'm no MD by a long shot. But looked at some sites about GB info. Seems to me that if the GB has completely stopped functioning, as Twit claims, and she is having terrible pain, it would be very important to get it out very quickly so as not to develop pancreatic (?) problems.

I don't think there would be any, let's wait until the end of Sept. stuff. And if it is that bad, then Twit is a bigger fool than I think for not having it taken care of a.s.a.p. If it is an emergency, no doctor is going to tell you to come back in a few weeks, they get you in and they get it done.

Now, even I am confused as to what is going on with Twit. I wish no one, even Twit, bad, but at the same time one has to wonder if this is just a bad GB and attention craving, a way to get daddy back into her game, or is really serious.

Think I will e-mail her husband tomorrow to get the real low down.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Good morning friends. I have emailed Twit's better, and I mean better, half. Now waiting for a reply.

hereiam's picture

Can't wait.

Even if she does have GB problems, it's obviously not as bad as she would like everyone to believe.

Rags's picture

I hate that manipultive bullshit. IF she can't behave as an adult then she can rott on the hosptital IMHO. If this is actually a medical issue and not just a bullshit attempt at daddy sympathy.

No action until the hospital calls to say she has been admitted. You can't believe a word she says so don't even listen.

IMHO of course.

My dad had his GB out several months ago. One day he was fine, the next he was in pain and not feeling well at all. A trip to the ER, a CAT scan, and he was admitted and taken straight to the OR for GB removal. Part of his GB was gangrenous. They don't dick around with that crap.

IMHO she is full of shit.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I don't think Twit's hubby puts up with all the Twit carp. As I said, he isn't running down there eventhough she has cried about how she is in such pain and groggy from the meds etc. So I think he is waiting to see what goes on.

Me? I'm not broaching the subject with him as he is grumpy and concerned/preoccupied if you will and I probably would be the same if it was DD, but then I would be on my way to DD's house asap.

Part of Twit's playbook is to cry about how bad things are with her and then at the same time, when help is offered, about how stoic she is and how she can handle things.

When drunkie first got busted for drunk driving, she cried to Daddie about how she was the only one taking drunkie to AA meetings and how stressed out she was getting with it. How her husband didn't help out, etc. DH suggested Al-Anon meetings for her and oh she couldn't go, because they were at the same time the AA meetings were on the other side of town (not true). DH even offered to drive the drunkie to his AA meetings so she could go to Al-Anon but she always had an excuse not to. That is when DH figured it out that it was just pity she was looking for....oh poor me, look at my plight, I have so much to handle. Aren't I such the martyr.

I'm thinking she is like the boy that cried wolf.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Okay - got brief response from Twit's hubby.

Yes, she went to the ER that day and they did tests which were inconclusive. He took her in for the dye test. The results are that the GB is not functioning fully, as he understands it, but unless there is a major episode she is scheduled to see the doc. at the end of Sept.

She is on meds. And, if she should get worse, etc. he would be coming home asap.

He was surprised that we even knew as she told him she wanted to keep it to herself (secret). She has done that before. She loves the drama, the attention, etc. and doesn't want to give any of it up.

Friends, do note that my DH didn't burn the phone lines up or run down there after he first heard from her. He waited. He didn't have to wait too long because she only lasted what, two days, before calling him with results she evidently already had the first time she called. But giving all the details would curtain her drama.

I bet she is back on the phone with DH tomorrow at the latest and crying for attention by the weekend.

Oh, SIL did ask that we drive her to the hospital if the need be, or go with her until he can get back (he is in an Asian country and it would take time) so she wouldn't be alone, which is fine with both DH and I.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

SIL is scheduled to be gone about 2 weeks. It was interesting that he knew the results of all the tests before he left and that, while she eventually may need surgery, it was not a life and death matter with her being abandoned by him. As I said, she loves drama. And, IMHO, since SIL put the screws down on her with her nasty letter to me, etc., I am certain she wants to discredit him with us.

Trust me, when I sent that letter to her husband she got the message - mess with me and I'll mess right back. This she doesn't like because she likes to pull her viciousness on the QT so she can claim to be the victim if she is confronted.

You know, the sad thing is there is absolutely no way I can have a relationship, even a distant one, with someone who is so vicious, secretive and insecure. Part of a good relationship is talking about various things, letting someone know you, what you are about, feel, etc. Someone like Twit would only use that against me. You can't trust her and you can't have any kind of relationship with someone that you can't trust.

Hey, if DH wants to sit and hold her hand and listen to her whine, he can go ahead. Just leave me out. I have better things to do. I just know that he will listen when she calls, for awhile, and then get rid of her...end the call.

SIL was quite glad to hear that we would step in, if necessary. He is concerned Twit will be stupid enough to try to drive herself. As for calling an ambulance? No way, Twit is too darn cheap unless the insurance covers it 100%, and most have a deductible.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Just dawned on me. SIL says he is going to be back in 2 weeks, Twit claims that she can't get into the surgeon for a pre-surgery consult until the end of Sept! Ummm, THAT friends, was planned by Twit.

All the carp she is feeding DH about how sick she is, the doc. are pushing her aside because, supposedly, they are one surgeon short at the hospital, etc. is just that...carp. That along with the how terrible SIL is for being away on business.

Of course there is always the chance that something could happen, but probably unlikely. Twit is just looking for attention and a way to get back into Daddy's good graces like it use to be before he got counseling and found out what she was and how she operates.

I figure she has no real friends she can talk to about this, or wants to talk to and let any one know she is a mere human like the rest of us. Thus she is going to hang on DH.

At least I have figured out her latest game playing with DH and attention seeking.

Cat - you are probably right, before the week is over we will have at least one "I don't know if I am going to die and need to go to hospital" call. But, if we do, I bet the farm it will stop short of us actually going to the hospital. You just watch. She will get DH all in a tizzy about her, running around, etc. and she will love every minute of it.

Poodle's picture

SDM, I feel that though this situation may calm down after the end of Sept, you have to consider it strategically as a shot across your bows with a new form of ammunition.
Twit is at an age and in a health condition where my guess is there will be health complications minor and major for the rest of her life. Are you and DH going to keep a diary of these and be glued to her storylines about them? Or is he going to set some boundaries so that the pair of you don't have to pander to her in this way. Unless you work out your own strategies, you are going to be her health audience for the duration. And I'm sorry to say this, but my guess is that your DH will fear that he will outlive her.
Therefore, you again need to gird your loins and think 10 years ahead in your mind, how to protect yourself from being sucked into worse dramas. This may be crying wolf, but think about Angel if she gets something more serious in times to come, and (b) you call wolf on her now, or in a future crisis, and then she suddenly really does drop off her perch in a medical emergency. I'm not saying this to scaremonger, simply that you have to prepare your mind for how you will cope with DH's reaction to all this.
Moving house still appears to me to be the best option. You can't undo all the damage this woman has done to her own health and if she is in bad health she will become increasingly dependent on others in any event. Let those others be her DH and drunkie.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Poodle - Great point. This is not her first medical situation and she is a lot younger than me.

The great thing is that DH has not bothered calling her, checking on her, etc. once he found out the truth from Twit's hubby. DH has her number.

The one thing I forgot to post was that Twit's hubby told Twit that she should let us know that she would be going in for surgery in late Sept. You know, the NORMAL things family does. As I did say, he was even surprised she called because she wasn't going to, and even more surprised at what she told us. As he said, it is not life and death and the end of Sept. was planned before he even left and had nothing to do with the hospital being short a surgeon as Twit cries. In fact, it was scheduled for when he would be back.

This woman is a monster.

But as you say Poodle, one of these cries of wolf might just be the one she - and I love how you put it - falls from her perch.

Trust me, we are not waiting with baited breath to answer any summons from her. Today we went out to an historic town for lunch and shopping, antiquing, enjoying the first day of fall. As DH said, if Twit calls that she is dying, he will just call her an ambulance. He says they can do much more for her than we can in an emergency, and they can drive faster! He sees no reason to put our lives on hold playing her games, though he is concerned. We have a trip planned, with friends, to drive down to Nashville, TN the first week in Oct. DH sees no reason to cancel it at this time. As he said, she is her husband's problem, not ours.

Trust me, this is very interesting on his part. Seems the last Twit fiasco where she had him in a tizzy about me supposedly calling her a liar, did him in. As he told me, she has problems, and she has always gone off the deep end. She has probably just worn him out with all her problems.

I have talked to a real estate agent who has said that the market is slow here, but putting the house up for sale after the holidays, about the end of February might look good. And I am looking at areas I would like to move to. Sad it has to come to this because moving is a real ordeal for us at our age. And we have made friends here, have doctors, church, etc. I can tell you one thing, it is harder to make friends at our age when you move because people tend to have their family, extended family etc. and, well, they just aren't looking for new friends.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You know, I wish I could just sit and have a cup of coffee and some laughs with you folk. What I like is that there are good, honest insights and suggestions. Sometimes I just don't see them with all the stuff that is going on, or just am not thinking clearly. Its called problem solving. And I must say, never, in all my years - and they are many - have I ever run into someone like Twit.

And doing things, like selling a house, moving to another area, etc. takes time. I would move by DD but ah, all the snow and cold, brrrr. That is why we moved here to get away from all that. Florida is definitely out, though. I sure don't want to live on a big peninsula that seems to always be getting hit with hurricanes. Heck, even where I am they have some pretty bad storms and we take tornado warnings very, very seriously.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You think that would be far enough away from Twit?

Ah, but what is Panama, somewhat like Florida with Oceans on both sides. Except then you get hurricanes in the Atlantic and Typhoons on the Pacific side.

sandye21's picture

No hurricanes and very little earthquakes in Panama. We went there last year and loved it. Can't blame a person who would want to move away from Twit but maybe perseverance will pay off in the end. Call her husband every time she pulls a 'drama splurge' and get the facts. Then, if it is all about nothing like usual, ignore her. Good luck.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi there Sandye - Yep, you are right on about my plans to call her husband every time she starts carp with me. Kind of like the Chicago way....you hit one of mine and I take out 2 of yours.

That kind of stuff is really not my nature, but it is self-perseverance.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Two things ~

1) isn't it like the little boy called wolf

2) I think DH's approach should b ~ you are married this is really your husbands duties ~ if she were under 18 things would b so different. Sounds to me like she might not b too happy in her marriage.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I believe you are right on about her marriage. According to Twit, she has the BEST marriage, the BEST house, the Best in everything, even the BEST Drunkie I guess. Okay, a little bad humor there at the end, but, heck, I'm entitled after all she has put me through.

That might be why when she pulls carp, and her hubby gets in on it it seems to stop. Perhaps she is afraid that he will up and leave. According to her, he calls all the shots and she can't do anything without his approval. Um, that is not the way it is. Twit rules the roost, which is why her hubby hides out in his man cave.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, and Easy - that is what DH learned in counseling....Twit is not his problem. She is her husband's problem. DH gets it and is working on it, but he has years of not doing so to overcome. he tries.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

It's a difficult concept to get through to anyone ~ it's your daughter n she's married.

That's what happens in life ~ he can't be her hero anymore. She's old enough n she found her own. If her hubby isn't her hero ~ she can't lean on Dad.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, I was wrong. Seems Twit's hubby isn't going to be back until this weekend.

Meanwhile, the Drama Queen is revived. Now it is not her GB, but she had diviculitis (sp?). Supposedly she saw the surgeon yesterday and he says it is not GB. So she had a colonoscopy today and the diagnosis is diviculitis. BUT, Twit claims the surgeon doesn't know what he is talking about. Guess she is being sent back to the internist - whom Twit says probably flunked med school. AND, the hospital is a slaughter house according to her.

DH and I, well he doesn't know what the heck is going on, but is concerned. I know, Twit needs attention. As was concluded, if her GB was that bad she would have been in the emergency room having it taken out.

According to Twit, doctors don't know what they are doing because she is....different (I'll say). they never get things right with her. IMHO, the only admission she needs is to the psych ward on a one way admittance.

She is just peeved that Daddy has not been burning down her line with concern and running back and forth for her. He did offer to take her to the doc. apt. yesterday, but, after whinning for several days that she couldn't drive and how would she get there, told him she would have one of her babies take her, same with today. DH said, okay. Now he is getting chastised by Twit because Twit thought that he was going to take her today. Ya just can't win with crazy.

Interestingly, the doc didn't give her a refill on the pain medication. Hmmm. Yet Twit claims she is in extreme discomfort and pain, can't eat. DH brought down some ice cream, homemade chicken soup (that cures everything doesn't it Smile ) this evening because she was still groggy. He came back disgusted because she claims she can't tolerate soup, is lactose intolerate (THIS is what teed DH off because he has seen her finish off many a carton of ice cream so he knows first handthat is BS), and doesn't like juices.

He just put the stuff in her frig/freezer and told her to suit herself.

Honestly, Twit is the only person in the world that seems to never get the medical care she needs because all the docs are quacks etc. I know that even in the past her husband has wondered why she has such problems. He sees the same internist and has no problem at all getting the help he needs for things.

sandye21's picture

Diverticulitis is very common, and is treatable in most cases without surgery. The main thing is not eating small seeds or certain foods that may cause pain later on but most times diverticulitis can be managed with adjustments to the diet. Unless there is a bowel block or something similar, Twit will not need surgery. So THAT is why she is so peeved. She gave everyone the impression she was at death's door and surgery was a certainty. Now, it's just eating the right things. Of course the doctors are all quacks! And even more amusing - I thought ice cream was made from milk. I learn something new every day! LOL

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi Sandye - Thanks for the inf. DH was up several times last night, concerned because he doesn't understand. I told him that if Twit's GB needed to come out the surgeon would have taken it out....that is what he does. In fact, I told DH that it is a good surgeon that will not do unnecessary surgery. He would be opening himself up to a malpractice suit. Same thing if there was a GB problem and he didn't take it out.

Neither the surgeon or Twit's internist have given Twit a list of foods, dietary plan etc. That says volumes to me. For either problem that is certainly what would have been done. The term hypochondriac seems to be one more mental illness to add to Twit's long list.

I think you are right, Twit is upset that she isn't having surgery.

About the ice cream - made from milk and lactose intolerant Twit. Yeah, that goes right along with the lattes she loves, etc. Twit lies so much about things she can't keep things straight. And this is a woman who calls every one else liars and talks about how she never does. Delusional to say the least.

Honestly, I don't think DH would be this worried if Twit's hubby were home. I know that if he were Twit wouldn't be pulling this stuff. Because a lot of what Twit has been telling DH isn't making sense if she is as sick as she claims.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Fighting - very inclined to agree with you about the docs. having her number. That is why she claims she is now looking for a doc away from the hospital in the area....fresh blood so to speak.

The whole thing didn't smell right from the beginning. Didn't make sense. And it is fools like Twit that have procedures, probably unnecessary, that raise the healthcare rates for the rest of us.

I'm wondering if maybe Twit's hubby is making noises about leaving and this is all a pity ploy to keep him tied to her....health problems. As I said, if it were serious her hubby would be flying back very quickly.

As for DH, well, he gets upset because he doesn't understand all the carp she tells him. It doesn't make sense. And as he says, when he tries to pin her down she makes even less sense....how the docs are all incompetent, no one knows what they are doing, etc. Heck, for awhile here she suckered me into the pity trap until I started asking DH to ask certain questions and never got answers other than Twit doesn't know, no one has told her, etc. THAT IMHO is BS. And as I said, when DH brought some food down to her yesterday and she started giving him carp about how she couldn't eat this or that, BUT she has no dietary restrictions or advice from the docs., DH just put it in the frig/freezer and left. As he said, you can't help someone that doesn't want help.

I have had my share of surgeries and I can tell you I never went through all the problems Twit does. Do I ask questions of my medical providers? You bet because I believe one of the best ways to good healthcare is to be proactive. But I have never thought all the doctors taking care of me must have flunked out of med school as Twit does. Believe me, if she could sell these docs her pots and pans they would be great. That is just how she thinks. Losers are any one and every one that isn't buying her pots and pans on a regular basis.

Amber Miller's picture

She finally gets a proper diagnosis and better believe she is mad as hell that it's not something more serious. So, now she is going to go doctor shopping until she finds someone to diagnose her with some god awful disease. Problem is that it won't happen. They will request her records and the doctor will see that she is a histrionic nut job who has diverticulitis. Poor twit! My husband is a physician and let me tell you, you don't get a license by flunking out of medical school. It's 4 years of undergraduate, 4 years of med school followed by 3 years of residency. They don't let people who flunk out practice medicine. They also have to participate in continuing education and take their boards to keep their license. Board exams are taken every so often, I forget how many years apart but it is frequent enough. Twit is selling pots and pans and she's crazy. Sounds like she's the flunkie. I resent doctor bashing. My husband works his ass off saving lives and helps people live healthier lives. Any competent physician will sniff her out. Also, it's probably written in her medical record that she is a complete whack-a-doodle. Can't wait to hear about what happens next.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

I agree with you about Docs., Amber. They train and study a lot. And I respect them. Though once in a while, at my age, I am tempted to ask one that looks real young to see his license Smile . You know you are getting old when that starts to happen.

Yep, just amazing with Twit isn't it. She is totally convinced the doctors are wrong and she needs surgery, and to quote Sid fro Ice Age, she is gonna die if she doesn't get it. After all SHE knows better than any one else because SHE is perfect.

Even DH is backing off. He hasn't called her, she calls him. He brought some food down there because we knew she would be groggy from the colonoscopy, and to be nice. Do note that I went no where near the toxic Twit, I let DH go (though I made the soup). Outside of that DH has been leaving her alone since her toxic outburst against me in early July. No doubt she is getting desperate.

I know DH was peeved, very peeved, at her hubby for going overseas on business when all this health stuff started. As I was able to let him read from Twit's hubby, if something happened he would be back right away, and the impression was that it was not as serious as Twit was making it out to be.

Amber Miller's picture

I can understand why your DH is upset that her husband left town but to be honest with you, diverticulitis isn't serious enough to warrant him staying home. The problem is that she's acting like she's dying thus causing your DH to feel this way. Seriously, I have a serious chronic disease and I don't need my husband by my side. I wouldn't have him postpone a trip just because I don't feel good but I guess that's just me. I'm very independently minded and I don't like all the attention I get due to my illness. My DH is my caretaker and to be honest with myself, I do need a lot of help but I don't like to admit it. I bet twit would be thrilled if she had something like I do as she would be able to complain, whine and cry on a daily basis.
Ok, enough about me. I know what you mean about young doctors. I'm in my early 40's and it's amazing how these young individuals get through school so quickly. My DH was around 30 when he went into practice. I think doing the residency program teaches them a lot. Yet still, even at my age, they look so darn young!
Well, I hope you have a peaceful, twit free weekend. Twit is never going to find someone to operate on her unless it gets so bad that she's in danger of perforating her bowels. This can lead to peritonitis and sepsis but that would've been found and immediately addressed when she went to the ER. the fact that this didn't happen leads me to believe that her case is mild. She will be fine without her DH. sounds like she just needs to modify her diet.

sandye21's picture

Agree with you, Amber. According to a trusted health information site on the Internet, "As many as one American in 10 over the age of 40 has diverticulosis; about half of all people over 60. Ten to 25 percent of people with diverticulosis get diverticulitis." That's a LOT of people! Many of us have deduced that Twit is a narcissist. Many narcissists use their health to manipulate others. Twit seems to fall in this category.

Amber Miller's picture

I agree with you 100%. You're statistics are very helpful and accurate. Diverticulitis is typically no big deal but there is the occasional case that is serious. We know twits isn't serious as she is a nut job. I read your post to my husband who is a family physician. He said you are right on and cited correct stats. Good job sandye!

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Folks, let me explains something about DH that might help many understand why he gets so upset and confused about the Twit health emergencies. DH is up in his years, as am I, but he has me by about 7 years. In the last year he has, well, he is not as sharp, as quick to catch on to things, to understand things, and gets confused. Case in point, I was talking to him about getting something at JC's, the nearby grocery store and he started arguing with me that he couldn't do it. Finally figured out he was talking about J.C. Penney, which of course would not have the food items we need. Yes, I am keeping an eye on him...is dementia setting in, early alzheimers? only time will tell. Personally, I think it is only old age and he just doesn't always think as quick.

So, when Twit starts with him, he easily gets into a tizzy at times, not all times as sometimes he is as sharp as a tack, and gets all worried and confused, which she plays on....especially when it involves me. THIS can make things at times feel gawd awful, but with the help of this board I muddle through it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Cat - there is absolutely no reason Twit should pull the stuff she does on him. The last time I July we had problems because of her, she had him believing I had called her a liar (though I know she is, I would never start trouble like that).

Twit's hubby once told me that Twit never, ever forgets, or forgives what she sees as a slight or a wrong. How sad. But regardless, that doesn't matter with me because I won't go near the crazy loon with a 10 foot designer barge pole.

It is very tough to deal with a step-adult that is a total loon, narcissist, etc. That is why she sells pots and pans....she doesn't have to let people know what she really is. She is there, does a party, and is gone until next time.

Amber Miller's picture

Twit sells pots and pans because she's a wack-a-doodle (my new favorite word). She can't get along with others and exist in a normal, day to day work situation. From what I recall she pressures people and chases them down to participate in her little pot and pan parties. I'm sure after that type of harassment that most people can tell that she's nucking futs. Didn't you mention that her business is not doing well? There are only so many people one can chase down to purchase overpriced mixing bowls and measuring spoons. Her DH knows how she is and probably left on his business trip so he doesn't have to be exposed to her daily nonsense. She needs to take her Vicodin and shut the hell up! Sorry, I know I sound mean but this woman is crazy.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Agree with you on the wack-a-doodle and the pots and pans business. I guess people like Twit make their money by recruiting people to sell (Twit gets a percentage of what they sell) as well as having parties of her own. It seems to me that sooner or later a community gets tapped out.

Amber, I think Twit is really getting desperate because of the things she is pulling.

And I notice that since she and I had our blow-out in early July, in which DH witnessed first hand (since counseling) some of the things she says to me and to him, he isn't as quick to get involved with her.

Wonder how long before she gets back to the RV, or for us to watch her dogs because she just has to get away. THAT isn't going to happen.

Amber Miller's picture

I just asked my DH about diverticulitis. He said most patients he sees with diverticulitis get better in 3 days. He said he recommends a high fiber diet and puts them on antibiotics if necessary. I guess twit would accuse him of flunking out of medical school too. I told him about twit. He said he agrees that she is manipulative.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You know, I agree with you about the docs getting her number for the nut she is. Heck, the vet, when we first met him and told him who recommended him, slipped and called her the "crazy lady with the dogs".

Oh, I just have to tell you this one. Twit has an elderly, older than us, single neighbor who lives kitty-cornor from her. He is a lonely old soul. Twit was telling DH that this old man, in his mid 80's, is always talking to her about how she should leave her hubby and get together with him! Claims he scares her, etc., but she is always inviting him over for all kinds of things and he takes care of her outside dog when she is gone I guess. Point being, why on earth would someone encourage someone they claim to be scared of and don't like the way they talk? Doesn't make sense.
But you have to realize that Twit makes this stuff up because it, IMHO, is in her mind that every one is after her because she is so great, etc. But, she is just so pure as the driven snow that she is offended, offended I tell you by the old man.

I have talked to and been around the old guy. There is nothing wrong with him. He is just another nice old senior citizen making his way through Medicare and life.

Amber Miller's picture

This makes me so sad. He's just lonely. Most senior citizens that I've come across (I was a waitress for 12 years and a medical assistant for 6 before I fell ill) are just gentle loving souls who need companionship and love to interact with others as they are lonely. I met so many elderly people in my line of work and all they want is a caring person to talk to. Of course she goes out of line and makes these crazy accusations. If she's so scared of the elderly neighbor than she shouldn't engage with him. This woman is pathetic. But of course, he's good enough to watch her dog. She's a pathological liar. I can't wait to hear the next chapter in this story.
The vet calling her a crazy lady is classic! That elderly gentleman never said she should leave her husband and be with him. Elderly people in my experience are extremely respectful and would never make a bold move like that. I'm sure he would be horrified if he knew what she was saying about him. My god this makes me sick. How dare she speak this nonsense.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

You can't make this stuff up, friends. DH just got a call from Twit earlier this afternoon and she....is having GB surgery on Wednesday. It was strange though, DH said something about they were going to call her on Wednesday on what time to come in???? I asked DH if he meant, perhaps, Tuesday they would call her. He said no, Twit said that they will call her Wednesday with the time she should come in on Wednesday! THAT just doesn't make sense to me. Of course Twit has made absolutely NO SENSE since she started this stuff. Heck, even outpatient surgery is not "drive-through" so to speak. Oh, an now she has colitis. Go figure.

Oh, and evidently, the Doc. is not the quack she complained about last week. He got the impression she knew this was coming up but was just trying to grab as much sympathy as she could about her condition. Suddenly she doesn't know how we ever got the impression otherwise! Umm, because she told us/DH. Even went so far as to call the hospital a slaughter house!

Confused? You Betcha! As DH said,....what the heck is going on? I told him it wasn't the medical people, it was Twit. She either can't get anything straight (or IMHO and I kept my mouth shut on this, just wants to play things out as long as she can). This has been the most confusing prelude to a possible surgery/surgery I have ever heard of.

Me, I am utterly confused and disgusted with this. Not that I don't hope all goes well for Twit IF she has surgery. I wish no one ill. But there is no sense in going through what she just put DH through for the past few weeks.

Twit's hubby is back and he is going to take off Wed. and Thurs. to be with her in her dire need. My translation----I (Twit) was going to die before, no one knows anything, docs are quacks, hospital is a slaughter house, I need new doctors and a better hospital, etc.....Now that her husband is back it is like this is routine and she doesn't know what DH is talking about.

I am going to have a very stiff drink before dinner, maybe one after because this carp is just becoming way too much for me. I've also contacted a realator in New Mexico about houses in an area out there. I may be waiting for spring to get this place on the market, but I can start to look and dream of peace, quiet, beautiful night skies, and NO TWIT!

sandye21's picture

When a person is having 'same-day' surgery they will be told the surgery is scheduled for a certain day but the exact hour of the surgery is not known right away. I think this has something to do with the scheduling process. Never-the-less, Twit will not be admitted to a hospital room unless there are complications. Usually minor GB surgery is performed laporoscopically and is considered 'band aid' surgery. There is little down time for the patient. But I'll bet Twit 'milks' it. LOL Just hope for your sake the confusion TWIT seems to create for attention is minimal.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thanks Sandye. When I have surgery that I have to be put under for, it usually requires a hospital stay. The anestheseogic (sp?) is very hard on me. But what do I know.

Also, Twit now claims to have Colitis not diverculitis as she early told us. The former must be a much more fashionable disease that she can brag about than the latter.

Poor DH, his head is spinning right now. And I can understand why, it is only natural that he be concerned about surgery, even "drive through" surgery so to speak. Any time a person is put under there is always a risk. Just look what happened with Joan Rivers.

We were suppose to be going to Nashville Wednesday, but DH wants to stay around now, JIC. I'm disappointed, but if it were my daughter I would feel the same way. Man, Twit always throws a wrench in our travel plans.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Now we will have to wait to see if Twit really does have surgery or if it is just more Twit delusion.

Many, Twit makes Chicken Little look rational by a long shot.

Amber Miller's picture

None of this is serious. I wish you could go on your trip. I hate to be rude but even if there is a complication, there's nothing you and DH can do about it. Twit just wants everyone gathered around her surgery bed, holding vigil, holding hands while crying and praying that she will make it through this dangerous/serious major surgery (not). This nonsense about 3 different diagnosis strikes me as odd. I mean, what is it? Wouldn't they have seen the colitis during the colonoscopy? I guess it is possible to have 2 or 3 things going at the same time but c'mon--none of this is earth shattering. Maybe I'm just a hard ass because I've been through so much medically. When I go to get chemo and infusions (I do not have cancer) I am subjected to other patients who act like they are dying when they are getting IV medications. It's no big deal. You just lay there and watch TV. Once I saw a patient demand to be spoon fed by the nurse. Another lady was crying when they put in her IV. I was so embarrassed watching this display. They acted like they were the only sick person in the room. This drives me crazy as all of us in the room are sick. God. This is what twit is reminding me of. I can't wait for my DH to come home so I can ask about colitis. It means inflammation of the colon. Could this be a result of diverticulitis? Is it common that they go hand in hand? These are my questions for DH. I do think it's possible to have gallbladder problems and diverticulitis at the same time. I mean most people as they age have more than one diagnosis of issues (for example: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc) I think you know what I mean. This twit is just looking for more sympathy. What a nut or (my favorite word--wack-a-doodle) Smile

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Thanks Amber - Look forward to what you find out.

This medical Twit stuff is so confusing. Twit never says anything unless it becomes overblown and confusing. As I said, just last week the doc was a jerk, the hospital a slaughter house, and today, well she is having surgery Wed. Whatever happened to all her talk about getting another doctor because the ones she saw were all quacks? Supposedly she called her ob/gyn to see if she could get a referral BUT, according to the Twit, they called her back when she was not home. So you see, it is always something or some reason that she makes up for things.

I think DH just wants to stick around because he doesn't have a clue as to what is really going on with Twit. She has him all confused. Especially when she told him today that she never told him all the docs were quacks. She just doesn't know where he came up with all that. Grrrr. Trying to gaslight her father is how I see that. She is probably scared I will go ask her hubby what the h*ll is going on, but she is just not worth the effort or attention of me doing so. And I know she told her father diverculitis because he wrote it down. Far different from the colitis she says now. Go figure.

The one good thing about being retired is that we can go to Nashville next week with our friends. I want to go to the civil war battlefield at Franklin TN, not far from Nashville.

Amber Miller's picture

Oh that sounds like so much fun; to visit the battlefield. I love historic stuff. Well, I talked to DH and he said colitis is a broad term. You can have ulcerative colitis and it can also be used for irritable bowel syndrome. He said some people get confused and think it's crohns disease (which I think is an auto-immune disease). The terms can be synonymous. Diverticulitis can be colitis is you have diverticulosis in the colon. Hahaha, she's adding diagnosis when it can be the same darn thing! Yet, it can be irritable bowel syndrome; geez, what an emergency. Maybe she does have IBS and that's why she's claiming lactose intolerance. Whatever the case, its NOT a death sentence and certainly doesn't require the world at her bedside. What a cry-baby. I guess we will have to wait and see what type of theatrics she pulls on her way to out- patient surgery where she will be sent home the same day. This could be the medical crisis of the century!!!!!'

Rags's picture

My 72yo father had his gangrenous gall bladder removed a few months ago. If he had waited another day it very well could have killed him. He was back to hiking his usual 7-12miles a day, ... less than a week later.

The only thing he could not do for a month was his usual weight lifting, crunches, etc...

But, he was hiking his ass off again within a week of the surgery.

Amber Miller's picture

It's Wednesday; twits big day!!!!!! I can't wait to hear about it. I hope we get an update.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Well, Twit had her DAY, and gratefully, all went well. DH was a nervous wreck until Twit's hubby called around 4:30 to say all was well. Also found out today that the surgery for the GB was, oh what is the term, elective for her. It was no blown out emergency where she was gonna DIE etc., it was a choice she made. She could have kept it and worked more on the diet end, but IMHO, that would have required Twit being responsible for something, her diet. As SSIL says, she will still be on a diet, but probably not as severe one. Poor guy, he sounded exhausted.

DH, I guess, is going to call her today. He wants me to go with him down to see her, but I declined....nothing for me down there except problems and grief (of course I didn't say that to him).

I am glad all went well. I never wish evil or bad on anyone. My Mother use to always say that if you did that it would come right back to you (her version of the Karma bus Smile

sandye21's picture

Glad to hear all went well for her ELECTIVE surgery. Also glad you decided not to accompany DH. Sure hope she doesn't try to milk this. Many a narcissist will. Can you still go on your vacation now?

Amber Miller's picture

Of course, given the choice, twit would elect for surgery. She got exactly what she wanted. I'm sorry your DH had to go through the stress of being a nervous wreck; poor guy. All because lazy ass doesn't want to modify her diet. Lazy, lazy, lazy. But of course we all know that modifying ones diet won't get as much sympathy as going through a life or death elective, outpatient, gall bladder surgery. Now twit is gallbladder- less. I can't wait to hear how long she drags this out. I know, I sound mean and of course I never wish harm on anyone, no matter how annoying they are. Your mom was right SDM.....I believe "harm none" and that whatever you put out will come back three times. Well, I wish you and your DH luck. Good for you for not visiting the twit. It would probably be a very annoying visit. It just gives her a larger audience for her next Emmy-award winning performance.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Hi - FWIW Mom use to tell me not to wish ill on others because if you do it comes back at you two-fold. An off shoot of the golden rule, I guess.

Amber Miller's picture

I just looked up gallbladder surgery or cholecystectomy on webMD. Twit will be sore for a few days and should be able to resume normal activity between 7-10 days. I guess this means that she will be incapacitated for 6 months }:)
I'm in a real spicy mood today. I'm typically a nice person; have no idea what my deal is today. Forgive me if I sound cruel in my posts today. Wink

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

No, you are not being mean.

I can tell you DH is glad its over and I am as well....I have had stomach problems the last week because of Twit nonsense.

Interesting....DH wanted me to go down there with him, and I nicely declined. So far he hasn't left the house. NOR, has he called her that I am aware of. Hmmm.

I know he tried to get me to go and we had this "discussion", err, are still having it and it hasn't turned into an argument yet (cross your fingers) on the difference between holding a grudge against Twit or my seeing a pattern in Twit actions and not wanting anything to do with her.

I think he is peeved, but heck if I am going to go and walk on eggs around the Drama Twit for fear I might say something that she will use to get DH all upset about.

As to how long twit will take it easy? Well, the last time she had surgery (hysterectomy) and was suppose to take it easy, the fool didn't and they had to go in and fix the stitches she pulled loose. Hey, what can I say.....a Twit.

Amber Miller's picture

Oh no. I'm sorry. Sounds like DH's stressed. All thanks to his lovely hot mess of a daughter. Maybe you should get a headache and say you don't feel well so you can get out of this and not have to go with him. It's not that you're holding a grudge, you are protecting yourself from her toxic nonsense. There is nothing wrong with that. He knows she is a troublemaker. Maybe it's time to leave on your trip. Twit has her alcoholic baby to keep her company.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sandye - On that trip to Nashville...we are going next Tuesday. Being retired we like to travel mid-week because we miss all the weekend traffic etc.