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What Is The Difference?

Lady's picture

Submitted by Lady on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 10:29pm

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Adult Stepchildren

My parents was married 53 years when my mom passed away. Its been two years since she has passed . In growing up I had never thought of my dad with another woman but thankfully it doesnt bother me .My dad has met a nice lady and she is 10 years younger than him . As I think about how my Sk'S has treated me until I finally disengaged from them and why I want to be good to this lady my dad has met . I dont feel any garbage towards her like my SK'S have toward me and my DD. I want her to be in our family .All my family wants to get to know her . She is nice to us . So what on earth is wrong with these SK'S that put you through so much hell. I just dont feel the need to cause my dad girlfriend any hell. I can not see me rolling my eyes at her or telling my dad she is not welcome in my house . I just cant and wont put myself in my SK'S shoes.

Ruby55's picture

Submitted by Ruby55 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 10:34pm

Good for you. I am good to my stepmother too, especially since I know what it feels like to be treated like crap from my step kids.

Donemybest's picture

Submitted by Donemybest on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 11:24pm

My dad died a couple of years ago and although I doubt my mom wants another relationship, I also couldn't imagine making her life more difficult if she did. I love my Mom and would do anything to help her be happy.
I certainly wouldn't be demanding that he isn't allowed to visit with her etc etc. I would welcome anyone new into our family just like a tried to do with the sd's.
I don't understand why anyone does this. I think it shows something wasn't right in their upbringing.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Submitted by shes driving me... on Tue, 09/16/2014 - 8:57am

Good for you. Just being nice, civil, accepting like you would any family member or friend will do the trick.

Ughugh's picture

Submitted by Ughugh on Tue, 09/16/2014 - 8:59am

Because your dad is a MAN, not a weak (...fill in the blanks...) and your mother was/is probably kind and compassionate, not a BM (Barf Mother).

This is your chance to show the Barf Clan how a real human treats another human being, not whatever they were taught to do.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Tue, 09/16/2014 - 9:26am

Good for you! It seems so much easier to just be nice instead of hateful, and you've proved the point.