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Hubby called the police and had them come out on a lie

Smellissa's picture

Yep! You read that ish right. HUBBY CALLED THE COPS ON ME!

Today in therapy, the girls told their case manager that they felt like they spent too much time with their dad lately. They were hurt over the things that he said last night. I took it to heart, so we made a game plan.

Hubby was NOT supposed to come over tonight, but he called me from a few minutes down the road. He was on his way here to get some more of his things (he only has 1 outfit at Mom's), so I told the girls they could put on their shoes and go to a friend's house. When Hubby got here, he asked me if they were gone because he was coming, and I lied.

I lied like a rug! I told him no, they were at a friend's playing. I offered to call them home, if he wanted me to.

Hubby said no, he wanted to talk about us. I just sat here, and let him blow steam. He told me that he felt like I was trying to keep the kids away from him (by letting him come here EVERY DAY?) and that I was turning them against him. I just kept it noncommittal and non-confrontational.

Then, Hubby said that he was going to force my hand, if I didn't let him move back in. He said he didn't want to hurt me, but that he would take the kids away from me, if I didn't let him move back in. I told him that he had to do what he had to do.

So, Hubby called the cops! I listened to him tell them that I was threatening him, and that I had a knife! OMG! I was SO SCARED!

When Hubby got off the phone, I went out to the porch to wait. I texted SD15 aand told her that her dad had called the cops, and she may have to come home and tell them the truth. (Hindsight is 20/20! I should NOT of told SD15 ANYTHING until I knew that I needed her to talk to them. If there is ever a next time, I hope that I remember this!)

So, the cops got here, and Hubby was laughing! He didn't act scared for his life, at all! I'll bet the cop thought he was an idiot.

Anyways, she (the cop was a woman) asked Hubby his story, first. Suddenly, Hubby was telling half-truths. He said that I had kicked him out a week ago, and that he was sleeping in his car (Hubby is sleeping at Mom's). The cop caught that, and said "So, you no longer live here?"

Finally, the cop asked me my side of the story. I told her the truth. She asked Hubby if I had told the truth, and he said not really. I asked Hubby to tell the cop what lies I had told, but he couldn't come up with any.

In the end, the cop told Hubby to leave. I came inside and got my ID and when I came back outside, Hubby was asking her about a restraining order. :jawdrop: (Honestly, it took me longer to find my ID, because I sat down and bawled for a minute, first. I really really didn't expect my life to ever be like this!)

I asked the cop if she would be filing a report. She said that she would, and that the report would say that Hubby called them, but that I was keeping him away because the kids are scared.

I called SD15 to let her know that it was all over, and she could come home if she wanted. SD15, SD12 and Friend20 came into the house together. The three of them told me that it is time to file a restraining order.

I don't know if I can get a RO or CPO since I've never filed a report on Hubby. My cousin is going to take me to the courthouse on Wednesday, though, so I can try. Wish me luck, guys!

Comments

bi's picture

He's a childish POS. My ex filed for a restraining order against me a few weeks after I left him. I hadn't seen him, didn't know where he was and didn't have a way to contact him. HE knew where I was and how to get ahold of ME, as usual. I have roots, he wanders and mooches everywhere he can. This RO he filed claimed that I pulled a knife on him in front of DD (4 at the time) and told him that if I couldn't kill him, I would kill myself. Among many other lies. I started bawling in rage when I read all that. We went to court and apparently the judge figured out real quick what a liar he is because his request for a needless RO was denied. When the judge told him as much, he spit and sputtered and said "Well....But....She called me a prison bitch!" I couldn't help it, I started laughing! }:) The judge was smiling and said he's not going to grant a restraining order over name calling. It was hilarious! Yes, I did call him a prison bitch. He's spent a number of years in prison, and he is indeed a bitch. I stand by that!

That answered the question of why he tried to get a RO against me when he didn't need one and why he told such outrageous lies. He was butt hurt at being called a prison bitch. Must be he really was someone's bitch while he was in there. He used to call me all kinds of stupid names when he was pissed and I laughed because they didn't even make sense. He was furious, so I have to believe there was a lot of truth in what I called him.

Bottom line is, only immature fucking assholes try to involve the law unnecessarily and based on lies. He can't get what he wants out of you, so he's trying to legally force you to do what he wants. It will bite him in the ass. What a moron.

Smellissa's picture

Bi, I was SO shocked that Hubby called the cops on me! I mean, I didn't call them on him, even though I had good reason to, more than once!

With your ex, did you spend a lot of time HURTING?

Smellissa's picture

Ripley, I didn't feel cool! I was shaking, and like I said, when I came inside I went ahead and cried it out. Sad Today, I feel alone and afraid. My girls are here, though, so I am spending my time cleaning and keeping busy.

Smellissa's picture

I agree! I was surprised that she didn't arrest him, but I think it was more because of my demeanor then anything else. I wasn't angry and belligerent, and when I cried, I came inside to do it. I wasn't emotional at all. I wonder, if I had been, if she would of arrested him.

I didn't want him arrested, and I still don't.

kathc's picture

You do not need prior incidents to file for a RO. Go get it with all of your names on it,

Smellissa's picture

Cookies, he is still at the point where, after he does these stupid and cruel things, he calls me and says how sorry he is. He begs me to forgive him. For him, once an attack (emotional, verbal, calling the police) is over, it's over. I'M the one who sits here with the girls, and myself, feeling like it isn't over. We're the ones who sit here still hurting

misSTEP's picture

Time for you, the girls AND your mother to quit enabling this guy's shitty behavior. He needs to find his own place to live. Living at your mother's just gives him the idea that this is all temporary and he will be able to move back in. You enable him by having him come over and eat etc etc etc. Cut it ALL off.

Your mother needs to kick him out as well because once he realizes that you are done playing, he will target her next.

Smellissa's picture

I'm not sure that I don't want him back, eventually. I have loved this man for 27 years, and I don't know how NOT to love him.

For now, the plan is for him to get therapy. Once his therapist feels like he is safe to come home, and the girls feel like it is safe, I don't know if he'll come home or not. I know that that makes me weak, but right now, all I can do is be strong in the moment, FOR THE KIDS.