Damage control after vacation
My family has a football weekend once a year. We travel to this. My daughter has attended the past 3 years with her husband and has paid her way. My husband invited step daughter and husband this year. He told her he would pay her hotel and game ticket. He did not tell me this. He did buy game tickets for my daughter and husband as I told him he couldn't do for one and not the other. Upon checking into the hotel he checked in and paid for 2 rooms and handed step daughter a key. My daughter witnessed this .. my daughter was very hospitable all weekend to step sis ... When we got home my daughter told me her feelings and how that made her feel. We will never be a family and my daughter will no longer attended "family" events. I have to talk to my husband about this but don't know where to start.. doing this behind my back has really hurt me.
My husband and his daughter
My husband and his daughter have had a very up and down relationship. He says he walks on egg shells around her.. so you can imagine what the trip was like. She has gone for over a year without speaking to him. I have always requested my daughter respect my husband... she never forgets bd, anniversary, fathers day... and she has always loved being around him. His children never remember me for anything...I think with this history he tries to buy his time with her. He meets her for lunch once a week and buys. I think he thinks this a healthy relationship.
I do know this is why this trip has hurt my daughter so much as she is always giving.
If you have separate funds
If you have separate funds this is fine, if not, he screwed up and needs to apologize to her. Otherwise, I am with your daughter and that I would not do this stuff again. Unfortunate for you, but he treated her terribly.
Is there a great disparity
Is there a great disparity between the two girls family income and his daughter could not attend without help? Regardless how wonderful your daughter acted in the face of this.
Maybe next year you should travel with your daughter to the game if she enjoys going. No need for her family outing to be ruined because of this. Different section and seats from your husband.
But my hope is that he'll be apologetic enough, I mean hang face, personal face to face apology, to your girl in hopes this can be put behind.
I don't really agree with
I don't really agree with this but you don't say how your funds are earned or spent. If this was from an account both of you hold and contribute to, it should have been discussed. But if he invited her, it is right for him to pay for tickets and hotel. Why does everyone on here say "disengage" or keep your money separate, but then expect the stepdad to pay for something for a stepdaughter just because he paid for it for his daughter? I also don't see a problem with him paying when he takes her out to eat.
If he used a joint account to
If he used a joint account to cover one daughter and not the other, he was out of line.
DF and I do not combine our finances. I do not mind splurging on DS22. I won't spend one red cent on SS22 or SD17. I will pay for things for SDs9&7 once in a blue moon.
If any of them ever has the nerve to question how/why I spend MY MONEY on my son, I will rip them a new one.
MY MONEY,MY KID, MY CHOICE.
:-) :-)
It is joint money. SD has
It is joint money. SD has been invited for years but didn't want to go or spend the money. She has nothing to do with my family when they come to visit us so why the sudden interest in going ..daddy's payin.
Rising 2 .. thank you . You have given me the words to settle this up.
Definitely talk to DH about
Definitely talk to DH about it, and have him send your daughter a check. My DH and I have separate accounts and he would pay for SD's dinners, hotels, all sorts of stuff all of the time. Very generous with SD even when she was making more than him. The problem is, since he wanted to buy off SD for a long time he was not able to create much of a nest egg. A few months ago he got in a wreck and had to buy a replacement car. He was able to purchase a car the same age as his old one with the insurance money, but I only hope and pray for his sake that this one lasts. Otherwise he will be in trouble.
Ya, it's a little late in the
Ya, it's a little late in the game now. OP should have a talk with her daughter, then possibly do something special for her that has nothing to do with the incident.
You can't fix stupid. Sadly
You can't fix stupid. Sadly your DH qualifies with this bullshit. If he is so clueless as to think it is reasonable to pay for his Spawn's room particularly right in front of your daughter clarity will only be communicated with a 2x4 and bright paint. Clearly paint the message on the board and beat it in to DH's skull. This is the only way he will catch a clue. (Figuratively on the beating in of his skull of course.)