Hi,

when my ss12 is here (every other weekend) he takes over the TV too and then sprawls across the entire couch, leaving only the reclining chair to sit in. He then proceeds to fall asleep 80% of the time. So if dh is already in the chair, I am completely left out or if it was something I wanted to watch (which it isn't because its just football) I would have to sit on a bar stool. Our kitchen, dining room and living room are also completely open. But you know.....the parrots really don't let you have too much quiet so I don't get any of that ssssssssssss stuff going on! When ss12 passes out on the couch and hogs it all, it makes me feel unwelcome as dh isn't paying attention because he is doing his fantasy league football stuff and doesn't even know that ss12 is asleep. Then I say okay well its probably time for bed as he's asleep......then OH...yea....ss12 time for bed dude its such and such time.

Things have been getting pretty moody around here. I see more eye rolling going on, pouting....and of course the water works. Everything makes this kid cry. I would say it's the hormones but this has been going on for almost 4 years now that I have seen. We kept saying too that ohhh he'll just grow out of it....it won't get any worse ....it has gotten worse unfortunately. I keep telling dh something is wrong but trying to tell the bm (who is a school teacher and SHOULD be concerned) that something is wrong with her perfect and spoiled bratty boy.....that might start WWIII. I guess we just keep waiting this out until he's a completely unruly full blown 16 year old.

Now he doesn't swipe things that I know of yet, but he does repeat everything to his mom, and if he's unsure of any part of the story he's telling, he just fills it in with his own words to what he thinks. Have you had to deal with any of that fun stuff yet? A few years back he told his mom that I lived in a basement (do people in california even have basements??) and that I have rabbits living in my closet.(wth??) Also now that I work 4 jobs (wtf?) [college,starbucks, and two orchestras] oh and that we bought our house. God only knows what he told her about our wedding. I don't even want to know.

Well hang in there, I do hope things get better for you. I can send over a loud bird anytime your ss11 wants to watch TV!

Cut the cord. Literally. Oops. Ran over with the vacuum. Little shit.

My son started having some issues around age 10. It was a little early, but it was puberty. He's 13 now and things have calmed down a bit. Does your ss have any other puberty signs? Not that he can use that as an excuse, but I think it helped my son when I talked to him about that specifically, because it helped him understand what was going on with him. The testosterone made him angry for no reason. They get "stupid" as well. Literally, his math scores went way down.

My Dad cut the cord once. When I ignored the call to dinner he came in, cut the TV power cord, and walked out. I was devastated. Make sure its unplugged before you cut the plug-in end completely off. Make sure its unplugged. Go to any hardware store and ask to buy a wire cutter. Make sure its unplugged from the wall.

It can be repaired easily enough but he probably won't realize that.

That's if you're foolish enough to stay. My advise is to give this up as this mental case is following his mother down the same path, he's half way there already. Why waste a chunk of your life trying fruitlessly to raise another couples problem child?

Honestly, I'm not sure that watching TV is the best activity for a child with ADHD anyway. Unplug and get him doing other things - puzzles, games, sports, whatever. You might find his behavior improves just from NOT watching TV all the time.

I know how you feel.... I truly do I have a step son who is going to be 13 next month and is horrible and his BM is a lying manipulative drama queen!!! two things that have worked for me

1- Therapy
I pushed to get him in and it has helped a bit with his behavior issues. As well as now he has someone to listen to only him.

2- Punishment
This is a long process but I stated grounding him, making him do extra chores and going to bed early when he messed up. At first his dad (my husband) thought I was too strict but I stood my ground and slowly things got better. You have got to not feel bad when he's mad at u, it's his fault he is being punished not yours.

But ladies, what about the husband? Aren't any of you being turned off or developing underlying anger toward the BDs that aren't disciplining their own kids? I'm having the same problem with my fiance's kids, the 13 yo SS having ADHD (but a good heart), and the 11 yo SD being a selfish bitch. I'm almost always doing the disciplining of the rules he and I both agreed on and I can't stand it. I'm so sick of talking to him about things we can do to improve the situation. He agrees with me but let's me be the one with the balls. I'm finding myself hibernating to the bedroom TV or going out with friends when the SK are over.

Aren't any of you feeling the same? Any anger toward the fathers?

Need my man to grow balls.

This is why I have a t.v. in my room.

lintini...I know what you mean about the feeling unwelcome and having no place to sit. It's annoying!

earthsage....I hibernate in my room alot, too.

I am so glad I didn't grow up during the electronic age. Atari was high tech for my family. Lol!
Remember those? We had like 4 or 5 channels on t.v. and read books and magazines. Do kids these days even know about books? The paper ones, not Kindle.

We actually had to GET OFF OF THE COUCH to change the channel and maybe adjust the rabbit ears. I loved growing up in the 70's!