Bm called my husband this morning while he was at work, to have him correct ss because ss wasn't listening to her and doing what she wanted him to do!!
What's the deal with that? Ss is at her house and my husband shouldn't have to do something like that over the phone. She should be able to take care of that. I mean please! I have problems with ss almost every morning with him taking too long to do things and not staying on task. He is ADD and mornings are not good because his medicine from the day before is gone.
Ss told his mother that he wasn't listening to her because he was too excited about going to his friend's house tonight. That's a bunch of bull too. I guess because ss's friend is our neighbor's son, that made it my husband's job to take car or?!
I just can't wait to see how ss's conduct was in school today with the morning that he had!
Dawn
The children's behaviour
is directly related to the parents, it's cause and effect. I know exactly what you mean. BM should be able to control her child's behaviour but all too often one or other parent shys away from the discipline/control issue. My DH often cannot control his children who are both ADD/ADHD but I wouldn't dare have him call BM to read the riot act. I intervene and they know from the consistent approach I have that I'm not messing around. BM often forgets to give SS his medicine - conveniently on the transition day to us. DH will say - he's off the hook cos of his medicine which SS hears and uses it to play up. I'll intervene and tell SS that he will have to control/correct his behaviour, that using the lack of medicine as an excuse for ridiculous behaviour won't fly with me and we can go down the route of discipline if he so chooses, the decision is his, funny how he almost(he's not perfect - dang it) always settles down. I really have a hard time with any parent who is unable to control their kid. That's why society is the way it is today. I agree Dawn - BM needs to step up to the plate. I'd be mortified to call my ex and ask him to speak to my kid cos I wasn't able to handle it.
That's how we feel too
We would never call Bm for something like that.
She also can't handle ss's homework most of the time either. We had to drop a fundraiser booklet off at Bm's house last night. My husband just wanted to drop it off and leave. Bm had to try to get my husband to check ss's homework while he was standing in the doorway trying to leave. If she can't handle checking the homework, then I ask....why is ss going to her house on a school night at all??
Dawn
Is there a happy middle ground where we can all meet?
I wish to God my skids' mom would call my husband JUST ONCE to ask him to help with the kids, to involve him in some way... ANY way. It seems almost like there are two kinds of biological mothers. You have the ones who hoard the kids and refuse to let Dad/SM be involved and you have the ones who expect Dad to do it all and use Dad/SM as a dumping ground for their unwanted children or as band-aids for all their little problems. Why - oh, why! - can't everyone do or be allowed to do their part?! Aaarrrggghhh!
It's either feast or famine, isn't it?!
~ Anne ~
I'm Guilty
I totally agree that each parent needs to be able to handle any situation that is going on in their own house. I got pissed when BM called us in middle of night cause she didn't know what she should do about something with her daughter..long story. My DH is not a counseler!!! She wasted his time cause she really needs professional guidance. IMO she wanted emotional support from her ex hubby and she got it...
But on the other end of spectrum, I lost it with my daughter and did contact her dad to ask him to call her and warn her that she better straighten out now..I figured if I or he and I as her parents didn't nip the behavior in the bud, it would effect her, my new family and his new family in the long run. That tactic was a last resort only.
Sounds like in your case, the biomom needs to be less codependent on daddys help.
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