So tired
So tired of trying and DH not being consistent. My DH makes rules and never really enforces them. I enforce them and I'm "picking on him" or "he's only 8." I remind DH that he made some of the rules and he just ignores me.
Recently, the BM quit her job so that she wouldn't have to pay child support, her part of health insurance, a life insurance policy in case she dies (I'm not that lucky), half of school supplies, half of activities, etc. The bitch pays for nothing and told DH she shouldn't have to. She breaks the CO left and right and faces no consequences. The one fucking time I say I need a break from SS, I get reamed.
I'm tired of the list of what is expected of me (DH has sole custody) being pages long, while she's given a pass every fucking time.
When I tell DH how I feel about her, his lack of consistency, or how I feel about the situation - he tells me he feels like I'm attacking SS. He never listens to what I'm actually saying, he just resorts to his special snowflake.
We have a 6 month old son and other than stepparent hell, our marriage is good. But, this is big and I don't want to deal with this, his non supporting role, and the bitch bio for years to come. I told DH that we have to fix this and be on the same page about our life together. He thinks everything will just magically fall into place.
He doesn't seem to care about my feelings and expects me to "just love SS."
I feel very alone, even more so since my son was born. I've been trying to find a counselor, but all counselors who claim to take Saturday appointments really don't take Saturday appointments. I have no outlet except to vent here. It's been months since I've been on here because I've been taking care of my son and just bottling up my feelings and resentment.
Does it ever work out in stepparent situations?
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your response. It's just bullshit that these people expect stepparents to step in, but then pull the rug from under us when we do.
The only reason I even parent SS at all is because the rules should be the same for all the kids in the house.
But, I'm going to try your advice and see what happens.
^^^^^^^^^ Good advise from
^^^^^^^^^ Good advise from 'ditzyblnd' - follow it.
I've placed a link below to a article on disengagement. Keeping 'ditzyblnd' advise in mind read it and get out of the discipline business with this kid. If your did notices that the step kid was treated differently explain it as age differences. Hell with a 8 year old you didn't even have to fix a sandwich. Let Daddy do everything when it comes to the kid and just take care of you and yours.
Personally I don't see your husband as a keeper. He sounds like he's not really into marriage and may very well be more interested in having you around as a cook, maid, sex partner etc. as opposed to a true marriage.
http://steptogether.org/disengaging.html
Thank you for the link. I'll
Thank you for the link. I'll read it.
If you think your marriage
If you think your marriage may not survive, don't get counseling, and if you do, don't let him know about it. Try coming here for counseling and see if it helps. If he wants to get custody of your baby, the first tool will be that you are unstable. I have seen it happen and it's a nightmare. Oddly enough, often the parents who use this as a tool have borderline personality disorder or some other issue preventing them from being effective parents themselves.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your advice. I'm considering all of it.
I really thought this would get easier, but I was niave.