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unappreciated or did I get in my feelings??

promise2hrt's picture

Hello you guys let me know what you think.
I made spaghetti, pretty basic prego sauce ground beef angel hair pasta. Sometimes I mix them together or I leave it separate, you know sauce and pasta. Here goes my SD asking 101 questions what sauce is this what kind of noodles so on and so forth, ( getting on my nerves) I already felt what was coming she didn't like it, or it was different. Talked to my Hunny about getting her to eat and he said really so when he fixed his plate he's like I see why she don't like it, ( the sauce and pasta were separated, he then said paw paw his father makes it different I said oh what's different, isn't all the same except different pastas and sauce.? All I here is and is thinking is either you do the cooking and grocery shopping or she eats what I cook. I'm getting tired of hearing papa's name. He don't live with us and will not be cooking for us. These kids and my Hunny is very spoiled by gramps, so it kind of makes me feel like what I think and say is ignored. Another example the youngest child early one morning cones and gets in bed to watch TV with a bag of candy I notice and asked have you ate BK? No. Have you brushed your teeth? No. I then say don't you think you need to go do these things before candy and Hunny looks over like let her have it so..... again unappreciated or in my feelings?

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Well, honestly, the spaghetti you made is not one I would enjoy. I also may have questioned what pasta you used (but in a kind interested way...not all boxed pasta is the same not just counting the 'shapes'). Prego jarred sauce wouldn't thrill me either. However I would have willingly ate my meal and appreciated the fact you took the time and effort to make it for me.

I hope the child did indeed eat her dinner after her inquire and thanked you. Bottomline , you're correct. If the kid likes spaghetti, she can eat the style you prepared. It will look different and certainly taste different but it's still pasta and a tomato/meat based sauce.

It'd be your 'Hunny' it'd be more upset with. It should have been 'dinner kiddo, just it's different but that doesn't make it bad' (as he shoved a nice full fork of it into his face). 'Hunny' can cook the evenings SD is there if they both are going to be so picky.

luchay's picture

Oh yeah, same story here. SD14 won't eat what I cook (except roast - she LOVES my roast and can't help herself there Wink )

OH has to cook or she will stay in her room and live on the junk food care package her mumma lovingly prepares for her to bring over here.

I handle it the same way - eat what I cool with manners and no bitching or stay out of my kitchen. OH can cook most of the time when they come now.

Except he broke his collar bone on Sunday, so he won't be cooking for a while. Suck on that SD. Blum 3

Shaman29's picture

Perfect. Smile

I took it a step further. I refused to have skid at my dinner table unless there were guests or we went out to eat. I stopped cooking when she was sharing the meal. If H planned for guests on a skid weekend, then he did all the prep and cooking.

When she lived with us, H cooked her whatever she'd eat before I got home from work. Then I would prepare our meal, we'd eat and we'd clean up. If she ventured into the dining room while we were eating, I promptly shooed her out.

Shaman29's picture

I answered you on your forum post as well.

You didn't mention the age of your skid or skids. I'm not sure if you have more than one.

This is typical of skids, questioning the food.

It sounds like you have an nosy/interfering FIL to be. Not only that, he sounds like a Disney Grandpa.

When I read your post, my first question was.....why is your skid climbing into bed with you?? Your bedroom should be off limits to all children. I would make this a rule as soon as possible. These are not your kids and you have no idea of the amount of problems that can crop up from kids/skids laying claims to the adult bedroom.

And at this point, it sounds like you BF/fiance/"hunny" is a Disney Dad and a Disney Kid. Which can complicate your relationship because guess who he is going to run to every time you two fight or disagree. Guess who is going to undermine your place in your home.

It sounds like your BF doesn't discipline his children or set down any rules. You can't do anything about that except disengage. If your BF wants to pay for dental work because he's not paying attention to his kids, then so be it.

Remember, these are not your kids and you're not responsible for raising them.

promise2hrt's picture

You’re right and we had a hard discussion about it after I post this and I told him how I felt and that was that I can be sweet as pie but when I feel like I’m not being heard….. Oh I will be heard and or disconnect and I mention that. So the following morning I was off from work and was cleaning out the fridge and while everyone was getting ready for school and hunny say the leftovers that I was about to toss out and called the kids in and started fussing it was right up my alley because either they eat what him or I cook or they are going to go hungry meaning no snack you either eat dinner then a snack later or go to bed and wait for BK at school or lunch. So…… that kind of put a little fire under their but including his to see the wastefulness. So he said to not buy anymore snack and I’m fine with that till they learn to eat. Funny you should mention about the dentist, because hunny tooth was hurting the other day and I have a very smart mouth when I have tried to tell you something for your own good and you don’t listen so I said I guess you like the pain you won’t go to the docs office or make an apt so…. You and your daughter will have a rotten mouth and boy if look could kill LOL. Gramps is a Disney gramps how he spoils them and treats them, to me keeps them out of touch with reality. SM and daddy don’t have money to buy EVERYTHING you want or to go to the store daily if not for the necessities. Getting what you want is a treat not a must so it’s a bad habit we have to break. sorry the skids are 6 & 14 girls.