This was asked by SS12 over the weekend. SO was shocked, hurt then angry. He said to SS “you know what, Son? You do what you want to do”. I’m now trying to deal with SO who is now in a depressed funk. SO has raised SS12 and SD13 from the ages of 5 years – 11 years when BM walked out on them all. He had the help of his Mom, but was pretty much a single Dad. He brought them everything they needed, took them everywhere including amusement parks, beaches, skating parks and also made sure they wanted for absolutely nothing. They each had their own TV’s, Playstation 3, IPads, Mobile phones etc. He also paid for their extra curricular activities including Taekwando for 5 years, with no financial assistance from BM, whatsoever (she was busy “finding herself”).

SD13 hasn’t visited for almost a year due to being upset with her Father for putting another woman before her, in his life. She also had a hard time dealing with having her Grandma helping them and resented having her authority in the house. Since SO and I moved in together, SD13, with BM’s encouragement no longer visits. SS12 has always continued to come over and we have a great time with him. He’s always shown respect, gets along with everyone and spends quality time with his Dad when he comes over. They go biking, throw Frisbees, go to the movies or just hang out playing games or guitar.

SO asked me what would I have done if one of my bio Son’s had said that to me. I told him that I would have to give them a lecture about showing gratitude and being thankful for having parents who support them and are always there for them. He agreed and told me he couldn’t understand why his Son would ask him such a question. He feels that his Son is being influenced by either BM, his daughter or both. He explained that he doesn’t want a gift per se, he would be more than happy to have a card hand written by SS. But, he shouldn’t be put in the position of having to ask for it. I agree. Next day, I rang his Mom and had a chat to her about it. She usually picks the kids up on a Thursday and takes them both out for milk shakes and what not. When I told her about it, she was horrified and wanted to know why SS would actually come out and ask something like this? I told her I had no idea, I was shocked too.

Now, I’d planned for us to have a BBQ on the Sat before Father’s Day. I’m a single parent and do this nearly every year. I invited my Dad and my Sis with her family to come along. SO knew and was happy for me to do this.

Yesterday, when he got home from work, he was in a foul mood. So, I sat with him to let him vent. He went on about how he was upset with SS and feels he’s failed as a Father. I tried to cheer him up and let him know that he does the best he can, given his situation. That he can’t help what BM tells SS, but he could help guide SS when he had him. SO refused to be consoled. He worked himself up into an angry state and then, out of left field, I cop this.. “I don’t understand why you’re even having a BBQ for Father’s Day. You’ve invited everyone and it’s gotten out of hand. I don’t even want to celebrate it now and how dare you do this to me”. O.M.G. I nearly fell off the bed. My heart started racing and I thought the top of my head would shoot through the roof. I gritted my teeth and said something along the lines of “are you serious? How the HELL did we get to this? First, I’m sympathising with you and now out of the blue, I get this? You know what..shut up. Stop talking. I refuse to listen to you when you start being irrational. I’m having the BBQ with or without you!!”. Then I stormed downstairs and smoked about 3 cigarettes in a row.

Goddamn!!