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Damned If I do or don't

stephag's picture

After a recent convo were my Dh says the last two visits I eyeballed sd looking for negatives and of course I am going to see or "catch" bad behavior if I am looking for it. Yep he said that. He hinted that I back off and maybe we would have less issues. Him and I and possibly Her and I. Hhmmm these two occasions SD was dirty, not kid dirty but somebody call CPS dirty and had the normal issues we always see behavior wise.

I replied, I am not looking for any bad behavior as it is not hard to find or see, I am usually looking to see if I need to clean, change clothes, wash or sanitize sd or reminding her to use the toilet.Also because I can believe some of the things that come out of this kids mouth. Normally we are headed out somewhere and I do not want people assuming she is my kid and giving me that Just Why? look. Why does the rest of the crew look presentable and sd looks like she just walked out Pre-K strip-club/insane asylum/crackhouse. So I decide next visit ok no more inspections no engaging (as in new outfits,cleaning of the nasty off or medicating whatever new bacteria, fungus she may have acquired or pissy panties watch.)

I'm just going with the flow. Sd comes I go into D-drive (disengagement). Well this made sd go into attention seeking overload. DH had already got on to her about running, needing to calm down and wetting herself twice in 4 hours. She decides to tell DS that he is in her spot and he needs to get up Now!! .He sits and shows her a place to sit next to him. She adamantly says for him to get out of her spot again pushing him now (I hear him telling her to stop).DH is in another room , I am in kitchen and hear everything .I go in and tell her there are no spots at this house we all share together and guide her to sit were my DS was telling her to sit and to stop being a little bully. DH enters I hear her all of a sudden sobbing and telling him Hag put me here and made me sit here boohoo oh woe is me . Dadddda alarm goes off and all hell breaks loose.
I marched in there and explained again about the No spot rule. I asked DH to come into the bedroom with me (he was sitting there sapping up the drama about to make my DS move) She tries to get up and follow us :O lol. I tell him nicely calmly see you have made her think she has adult status , even over me (he has said in a past blowup that I have an issue with her and me the adult is in competition with her) Umm no she is in competition to be an adult because you fail to act like one and parent her ass. He says well you have not engaged with her she is probably trying to get some attention from you?? You have barely talked to her since she came to visit??? WTH..Did you not just say to back the heck off. :? I asked him you ever wonder why our relationship was pretty good before the PAS with BM . Well its not her fault.

No its not her fault her mom is a scallywag , Its your fault for not addressing the behavior and demanding that she respect me no matter what evil BM was brewing. Its not her fault you guys are not parenting her .. So she is pissed now she is ramping the evil eye up. We all our sitting and she is on his lap opposite of me she takes his leg pulls them together so none of his body would touch mine. (he ignores it) I ignore it as well and smiled sweetly at the smirk we all know and love and stood my ground.. Right at that moment she announced she wanted to go home and he took her. I really thought Disney Dad was going to weep. :sick: Dead silence upon his return Wink

Next night we are kid free just relaxing and sitting he is inching in very close I'm like, Well whataya know we may be able to enjoy this downtime with no interference .. DH ,whataya mean? You did not see when SD moved your leg away from me the other night. Oh yeah she was just doing that because I stay after her about keeping her legs closed. So she was just doing it to me ..this asshat

fuckitall's picture

:sick:
when this kinda shit happened at my house I literally blew up on my FDH the very first time it started happening. I went to our room and didn't come out until the brat had left. And then he heard about the way it made me feel for about a week. Until he understood that I won't be bullied by a six year old little girl.
It was pathetic how rosy tinted his vision of her was, I just continued to point out the bad behaviour until it was impossible for him to ignore. Example : SD pushes her dad's legs away from you. Look him in the eye and say, "Did you notice your daughter just physically moving you away from me? That is not okay." If he doesn't acknowledge you, in effect telling her that behaviour is okay, then get up and leave BOTH of them, don't engage with him either if he isn't going to be a real parent.
That's just my advice. Sounds like you a have mini-wife in the making on your hands. The more dad allows and feeds into it, the worse it becomes. Nip it in the bud.