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Can't Take Anymore

lily11's picture

After our last issue, DH himself actually went to talk to a counselor. This marriage is in bad shape. DH and his son's needs come first and I am not valued.

We were going to follow up with the counselor and then I ended up in the hospital with major surgery. And now DH is away for the next two months due to work.

I am stuck in the house, unable to drive anywhere, with a lazy 18 year old step son who stays in his pajamas all day and plays video games.

He signed up for college classes but the books stay on the floor. DH makes him pay for everything he needs... car insurance, clothes, his own food since he will only eat fast food.... Everything. So he has been going to grandparents and BM for money when he can or even goes without.

This kid would rather stop eating than work more than about 20 hours a week.

It is obvious he will fail college. Why do we have to sit here and watch him lay around and wait for it to happen?

I have been more active post-surgery than he has. He was even too lazy to go get himself contact solution and started using DH's.

He will not get out of bed unless someone gets him up. DH or I have been getting him out of bed every day for over four months. We have to text or call from work.

I couldn't take it anymore. I just now told him he is unbelievably lazy and he has got to get out of the house and go do something. I told him the least he can do is get off his lazy butt and get some contact solution.

I can't take living with a grown man who acts like a child. I told him this and told him he is the laziest person I know. I told him that I am asking to see a counselor with his dad but because I cannot take living with this anymore.

I don't know how to deal with this. And I always end up being the bad guy.

How does life get so miserable like this? I made better decisions when I lived alone.

Comments

Sports Fan's picture

Does your DH have custody? Does it even apply if he is 18?

I would kick him out and make him go live with BM or his grandparents. You have no responsibility to this "kid" and shouldn't have to deal with it, surgery or no surgery.

Jsmom's picture

If he is not full time working or going to school, he needs to be kicked to the curb. Easy enough.

lily11's picture

He is taking 12 hours of school course load and working about 20 hours a week. DH told him he will pay back school tuition to DH if he fails this semester.

So far, all he does is play video games, go to class a few hours in the evening and then try to sneak out and stay out all night unless DH intervenes.

I haven't seen him open a book... He says class just started and there is "nothing to do". He says his mind wanders during class.

He says the gym is boring. He says he can't work more due to school...

He lays around all day Monday - Friday in his pajamas! Goes to school at night and daydreams through class. Works weekends only.

It is just a matter of days and he will start skipping classes and he will fail.

I do want him out of here. DH wants him to make an effort at college. This is not effort and I am disgusted.

DaizyDuke's picture

dup