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Can you smell the butter?

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

The butter that is poured over my popcorn, that is. Okay, I don't like it too buttery, but...

DH is simply having a splendid time dealing with SheSloth with my new schedule! (Can you read the sarcasm in that?) Yesterday after SheSloth got home from school, she unloaded her list of demands...I mean supplies...on DH. Supposedly, the comp book was needed by today (and, okay, I could see this, and there is no way she could have known ahead of time), but she was insisting that school shopping had to happen last night. I know all of SheSloth's teachers because they had my bios (almost feel like I should send them an apology email now, and then they will see what I mean as the school year progresses), and I KNOW that all of them really don't expect supplies until Monday, knowing that many parents get paid this Friday, and won't have the time to shop until this weekend. I was heading out to my dance class, and I pass the grocery store on my way. I left a bit earlier, and offered to grab the comp book to be nice to DH (he had a butt load of work to do), but made it clear that was ALL I was grabbing.

Right before I leave, SheSloth comes out and asks if one of her friends can come over to hang out. DH agrees, but says that the friend has to leave at 8:30 p.m...no ands-ifs-or-buts about it! SheSloth agrees to these terms, and bounces off to her room to let her friend know. I get home at 8:45 p.m. from my dance class...the girl is still in my house! I point this out to DH...oh...he lost track of time. He tells SheSloth that the friend needs to go home. 9:00 p.m...friend still hasn't left. Oh, and SheSloth is in the shower at this point! 9:30 p.m...friend STILL hasn't left! At this point, I'm not happy, and I make it clear to DH! I tell him (exact words), "Don't you just LOVE how she ignores anything YOU tell her?" 10:00 p.m...I'm really not happy...friend FINALLY leaves after DH tells SheSloth a 3rd time!

Then, this morning...the real fun! Wednesdays are the mornings SheSloth has to be up at school extra early for practice! DH was not happy about this. I have a 6:30 a.m. client on Wednesdays (which means I need to be at the gym at least by 6:15 a.m. to prep the training room for the client). SheSloth needs to be at school by 6:45 a.m. Now, you could tell that DH was really hoping that I would just say, "No problem, I'll take her"...but no...not feeling that nice. Not to mention, there is no way in HELL SheSloth is going to wake up on her own at 4:30 a.m. to make sure she is completely ready to leave the house by 6:00 a.m. (when I have to leave). I can get up at 5:30 a.m., and be out the door at 6:00 a.m. So, DH has to get up 30 minutes earlier than he normally does to get SheSloth to school on time. I talk to DH after I'm done training, and he says that SheSloth was throwing a HUGE fit this morning that she was going to be late! See, DH had to check on the stuff he was doing last night for work, and kinda lost track of time a bit without me there to move him along. Attitude all the way to school, only for the guard captain to show up 5 minutes after they did while DH and SheSloth were waiting out in the car for someone to arrive to unlock the door to the school (the guard captain has a key...yes, a student with a key is not a great idea...her parents have connections). DH said SheSloth stomped out of the car all mad at him. Oh well...how much you love your little princess, now?

Chomp chomp chomp on my popcorn. Only the second day of school and the first week of my new schedule, and the world is quickly blowing up! At least I didn't have to worry about the dishes. I mean, I didn't cook last night. There were left overs for DH (which I know he ate), and told him that SheSloth could have a sandwich or canned pasta. It is obvious that she didn't have either, so no dishes. So that means that all she ate yesterday was her "pizza meal" at school that she always buys (though she has been told not to because she needs to eat a variety of food...not just a slice of cheese pizza every day)...no breakfast, and DH didn't make her eat dinner. Really waiting for that call that SheSloth has fallen out during practice...you know, the one I won't answer, but will giggle while listening to the voicemail before I call DH and tell him he needs to go pick his daughter up from school.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

You know they serve cotton candy at the circus as well ~ philosophy is now ~ not my circus not my monkey !!

Sorry your DH seems partial engaged with the sloth. I would have told sloths friend in front of here ~ it's time for you to go home. That message would be clear.
The needing of being to school early today ~ could be getting use to try new school year for DH but that little bitch needs an ass whipping.

Btw ~ you are doing a fantastic job ~ love reading this one. Chomp chomp ~~ ha ha ha.
Keep up the good work. You could actually whistle while you work ~~~

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Cat ~ lol ~ I like to put raisinettes in my popcorn ~ like the chocolate and salt combination.

It seems like DH is attempting to disengage trying to make OP the bad guy ~ but she's holding her ground !!! Kudos to her

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh, I'm not allowed to be the bad guy, either! I say anything to the SheSloth that isn't "hey, let's go shopping", and next think I know, I have BM texting/calling and cussing at me! When I've tried to give my input to DH, I get told I'm too harsh. Oh well...his problem now! Girl has practically been allowed to raise herself her whole life. DH doesn't want to be the bad guy, because he doesn't want her running back to BM's. I say, let her go, and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Shesloth = Veruca Salt

Seems like your DH is letting her believe she is the ring master

Calypso1977's picture

"I left a bit earlier, and offered to grab the comp book to be nice to DH (he had a butt load of work to do), but made it clear that was ALL I was grabbing."

i know you love your DH but this stuff has to stop. He wont interpret it as help, but she will definitely interpret it as another enabling act.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

In this case, DH was up to his ears on a call trying to do an upgrade for one of his clients that he has been working on for a week now. I also knew he would not find the correct comp book. Our usual grocery store close to the house does not carry the plain, back and white marble-looking comp books that our school requires. All they carry are comp books that have fancy designs, which the teachers at the high school specifically say they don't want. Having gone through this with bios for the last 8 years, I know which store about 10 miles further down the road actually carries the ones the school requires. I seriously never understand why our usual store doesn't carry the other, generic, cheaper comp book the teachers at our high school requires. I know I've mentioned it to customer service many times, as I'm sure other people have (as the times I would be there getting supplies, and someone was looking for the same thing, I've had to tip them off as to which store to find them).

Calypso1977's picture

what would he do if you were not in the picture? He'd have to find a way or get the wrong book. you have to proceed as if you are not in the picture. You are a constant safety net. Poeple will keep falling if they know there is a net. And at this point, given how bleak this girls' future is, no matter how many things you do for her she will never change. the end result will still be the same.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I've had my number for 15 years now, so really don't want to change it. I have discovered a way to block numbers on my phone, however. Never rings on my end, never sends them to my voicemail. Thinking I'm going to put the school on the block list. Wink

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

No guarantee there, depending on who is calling. If they cannot get hold of DH, and no other numbers are listed, they will see that SheSloth had two siblings in the system, and they will see if there are any numbers listed under them that work, especially if it is a medical thing like SheSloth passing out during guard because she doesn't eat enough. And because both my bios are graduated, those records are locked from edits. Not to mention, small town...I know lots of teachers, my bios were in the school for 8 straight years basically...so many already know my number, and would be, "Oh, well maybe we can get hold of _______. That's her step-mom." If I put the school on block, the number will just ring and ring on their end, and then they will be forced to start hitting up grandparents!

Calypso1977's picture

change it to the grandparents. Seriously.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I have that set up on my phone. Any calls regarding the skids and school or anything from BioMonster are blocked. And if BM thinks she can use the skid phones to call me, than I will block them, too.

mixedemotionsaboutstepdaughter's picture

I LOVE this! Especially the SheSloth label! I have a SS17 who could just as easily be labelled a HeSloth. He's a Junior in High School and works at a local grocery store. It's great that he has a J O B (which, by the way, is NOT hard)...but, he does NOTHING at the house to help out at all! Trash can be overflowing, dishes can be piled up in the sink, etc. He thinks that because he goes to school, and works a few evenings a week, he doesn't have to do anything at home. When he's asked, or told, to do something it's as though we're killing him! AND, we drive him around because he doesn't comply with our expectations and can't get his driver's license yet.

I, too, get attitude constantly and inundated with last minute "I need this" or "I have to be here at such and such time" THAT MORNING! These kids have no CLUE what planning, communication, effort, etc. mean. It drives me BONKERS!

I don't know how old your SheSloth is, but it sounds like she's at least in High School. I can completely empathize with you! And, my DH isn't fully engaged with his son either. I end up being the one who picks him up from work 99.9% of the time, and does stupid little things for him. All DH will say to SS17 is, "You'd better start talking to her nicer and treating her better, or she's not going to do anything for you at all!" But, I still end up doing it.

Calypso1977's picture

i wonder if the last minute requests and lack of planning all stem from the generation of kids whose parents had to "find them things to do" and scheduled all of their activities.

as a kid i had to plan my free time because my parents sure didnt do it for me. i was also expected to do my own homework. they never sat with me while i did it. we also couldnt make "instant plans" via texting, etc. if i wanted to do a sleep over i talked to my friend a few days ahead and she asked her parents and we worked it out.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh, I don't deny it! Mom didn't want to hear from me without all the details, and I had better come to her with the plan at least a couple of days in advance, or I knew the answer would be NO and be final! Going to a friend's house for a sleep over? Oh, I better come to mom with the itinerary of the entire night or weekend, AND the phone number my friend's mom could be reached at to verify it all! Homework? I was in advanced classes, so my mom couldn't even touch my homework (I took after my dad more, but lived with mom, who would admit she wasn't ever very good in school).

We also didn't live in a time of "play dates" and that kind of crap. We lived in a time of "Go outside, and I better not see you back at this door unless I call you, or you have to go to the bathroom!" LOL So, we played in our yard and waited for some kid to come by, or we went out wandering within our allowed boundaries and found kids ourselves...because about everyone was booted outside! We made our own play dates!

Calypso1977's picture

exactly. Free play and unscheduled time is how kids learn early on things like time management, conflict resolution and the like.

now all these "experts" are coming out and saying kids need free play and creative time. Duh! Same "experts" who tell us that kids are fat today because they need more exercise, better food, and less digital time. Gee, ya think?