please someone see what i cannt
im giving this my all....and by this i mean raising four children that arent mine and were emotionally neglected throughout their lives by their cocaine sniffing/cheating/father that turned to suicide....in the home the children lived in no less to add insult to injury, the situation for the last 8 months has been challenging but now i feel im being taken advantage of at every turn.
i bend over backwards for the kids, i drop everything at a moments notice to help watch the kids while shes at work for the summer....but this time its different.
after a stressful weekend in the big city with 4 kids in one hotel room monday morning roles in with her asking me to watch all for kids while she goes to work, 2 1/2 hours away for a couple days,
all would be ok but im in the midst of home renovating the entire house....that means no kitchen!!, no real entertainment for the kids...the house isnt functional...!!
to me it wasnt a fair request for her to ask, i love her to death but i cant see myself taking on the task of co parenting children if im left in a situation that isnt reasonable...i dont think im asking to much.
basically im at my wits end with the little ones that are spoilt beyond belief,actually all 4 are spoilt , the only one that actually repects me and is a huge help is the eldest boy whhom ive become quite fond of since his recent dedication to help out when he sees me getting stressed..
also i feel obligated to stay cause my gf's family are all alcoholics and everytime she needs a break she relies on a drunk to watch her kids.... is this a woman i want to be with? does she really love her childdren properly .... i was raised with moral and a sttrong sense of self, have been married and cheated on and served my country ...i gave up a decade of my life to an entity that took advantage of me, do i want to give the rest of my life to a cause that is already to far evolved in a negative way......pleasee help me...
all this said im just feeling broken like is this really the life i want? or am i just that type of guy that should stay alone.
You're 8 months in and
You're 8 months in and miserable. You're being taken advantage of and used. The fact that you feel obligated to stay is a huge red flag, at least to me.
I think you should find a woman who can better fulfill your needs, instead of you just filling all of her babysitting needs.
The first 8 months of a relationship should not be this challenging and it should not make you feel broken. You're young, you're childless, find someone to be happy with. Even if you have to be happy alone, first.
FOUR? Okay, I think the
FOUR?
Okay, I think the first thing you guys should do, if you want this to work out, is sit down and start setting up a list of rules that both you and their mother will stick to. Also, go to couple's counseling if you can, and family counseling that specializes in step families.
Are you able to talk to her and not have her lash out at you? Is she able to compromise? If so, then you guys do have a chance. If not, i'd say cut your losses and go.
My advice....get out now, you
My advice....get out now, you are being used and you deserve better!
well ive read your comments,
well ive read your comments, thankyou, im in tears right now cause i know in my heart she iss using me after this week...she needs about 24 hours to usually formulate any reply to a question i have...shes careful and submissive to a fault...8 months in and yes im not happy with my situation.
well ladies this is one guy that may never heal his heart, thanks, i think i want to go back to afghanistan.
Being in that situation and
Being in that situation and being alone are not you're only options.
Yes - you can leave her and still be a good guy and have a good life with someone else ---- when the situation is right!
And this ain't the right situation.