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I don't know where to begin!

summertimelove's picture

First, to start off. My boyfriend and I have been together over four years now, and has two children, a son 15 and a daughter 13, with this awful, horrible creature of a mother. Not saying she's a bad mother. Just a horrid person. She just got married and divorced within a few year, and is now living with his cousins husband. More or less he's living with her. Needless to say I'm having a tough go of things, his baby's mom will sit at the dining room table and tell his daughter that he wants nothing to do with her. And he calls and asks to see the kids but surprise she always has plans with them. My bf just wants to give up, their mother brainwashing them is taking its toll on them, him and our relationship. I'm at a loss for words, and frankly to fed up to even continue all of my stories. Where do I even start, begin or try to help..

Orange County Ca's picture

He needs a court order of visitation so he can have specific times to be with the children. At the boys age he should have custody and the boy living with him full time.

Perhaps if he threatens his ex-wife with a court hearing he can suggest a alternative with the boy living with him and the girl with her. No child support either direction and normal every other weekend visitation in both directions. Schedule it so the siblings can be together on the weekends.

If the ex refuses to cooperate then he'll probably need a attorney although people have done this without the help of one if they're good at reading and following what's written in court procedures manuals.

summertimelove's picture

No, living with me. And his son was living with us until two months ago. She tells his daughter at her dinner table he wants nothing to do with her. Which is lies, and when she asks and he tells her the truth, she says mommy wouldnt lie to me. I'm 27 and an only child. I'm soblost. I have stories on stories that would run even a sane person in circles.

summertimelove's picture

And its like he's given up.. He says why bother if they don't want to be here anyway. Which is a good result of their mother and her brainwashing them.

summertimelove's picture

I guess I do get that, I just couldn't imagine having kids and 13 years down the line walk away

summertimelove's picture

I guess that's where he is at now with the daughter. His son is not the one that worrys me. I'm just lost, how do I help a man who feels like his own kin are abandoning him.

Orange County Ca's picture

Making a conscious decision to "give up" is a valid choice. At age 14 my "Mama's boy" eldest who was turned against me I told them he didn't need to visit any more. I made no effort to contact him or his mother about him. Ten years later or so he reached out and I accepted him back in my circle. But I don't like him. Like his step-father he's manipulative and greedy to the point of bullying and grasping.

He seems to care about me but its more like "gotta make sure I'm in the will". Bad news coming kid.

But back to your husband if he seems determined to back away then just support him making sure he understands that the best way to handle it is to break off all communication. Don't go pleading and begging back. Wait for them to come forward which will happen when they realize the personality of their mother.