Well, today we got the letter from the Mediator from last Friday meetings. It was totally vague, and judging from what she wrote, she didn't put in any effort into DH's case what so ever, and she didn't make any references to the judge. Plus not to mention that their mediation was on Friday, and here it's Wednesday, takes a couple of days in the mail, so she had to put it in the mail on Monday... So, we suspect that all she did was make a couple of phone calls, nope, BM not there, and left it at that.
My DH is now disgruntled further and has a very very negative outlook for this case. He's now swearing up and down that because of this, the judge will be sure to give him 0 custody time and he's his cs will be tripled... something we can't afford.
I don't know what to say to him, because if I dare speak up, he is so determined to prove me wrong, rebuttal my point, make an argument, so all I do is just look at him. I don't even know why he bothers to ask me questions, when he won't let me answer or give my opinion. So, I just looked at him.
To make matters worse, SS's BM moved into her new home this past weekend and all out of the blue, 'they', SS and BM, decided that they would go back to the week on/week off and well the notice we got was a phone call from SS on Sunday saying that we don't need to pick him up this Monday... next Monday. Ummm.... thanks for the update and warning. Honestly, it's really nice going back to this schedule, but the delivery could have been better. Although, because of this, it's now created some issues for me if we do get stuck with a horrendous cs payment for SD, because I was originally planning to go back to part time work on the weekends when we don't have SS... now... I can't even do that! (DH works weekends.)
ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
And there's more...
My aunt passed away last Tues. My mom was already flying back home to visit with family and see my cousin who was on leave from Iraq, so it was good timing. I couldn't go. But, I do miss my family and lately, I've been getting very emotional. It's been awhile since I've been back home myself, and no one is getting any younger, if you know what I mean. With all the stress here lately, I just wish I could just go away for a week on my own.
Go visit your family!
If you miss them and feel the need to see them, then do it! You do your part as SM, and you sound like a darned good one. You have no kids of your own, so there is no reason why you can't pack up for a few days and go see your family. Talk to your DH, tell him that you're going and pick a good time. Well, there may never be a "perfect" time, but you owe it to yourself to do something you want to do for a change.
Hang in there!
I agree. Go
Go and let your DH and BM figure it out.
Take a little R&R for yourself.
You have been thru a lot.. Take some much needed time for you..
It will only help you and your husband..
Happy
Yes, I agree as well!!
You have gone above and beyond...go see your family, you are entitled!!!!! HUGS!!
Yes, Yes.
Take the time out. Sorry for the circumstance, but enjoy seeing your family.
Jo
So sorry
for this disappointment. I had high hopes for you and your dh. Keep your chin up, keep trying. I wish I could literally give you a hug. I remember the days of being faced with this disappointment. Our guardian ed litem looked my dh in the face and said.."the only reason bm wants ss is b/c of the money. Your a good dad...but you just aren't going to get custody..."
When my dh came home and told me that...I just cried. I was so mad that the courts just refused to acknowledge how bad of a mother bm was, and how horrible of a childhood ss was having, all b/c bm didn't want to pull her act together, and the courts didn't seem to care. We were told "bm is a bad mom...but she just isn't bad enough."
I really feel your pain, and I wish there was something I could say to make it all better for you. I really wish I could take away the disapointment.
I like the other suggestions, and go see your family. You really need to, and it might be theraputic for you...
Hugs,
Candice
I wish it were that easy everyone... but thanks.
Unfortunately, we simply just can't afford it, and by the time I would be able to go, SS would be here. Both DH and SS rely on me to get SS to and from school due to DH's work schedule. He doesn't have a normal 8-5 m-f job, so it makes it harder on us.
But I so appreciate all your encouragement.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
Can your dh
work different hours for the short time you would be visiting family? I understand if you can't afford it...but, I know you are making such sacrifices to help manage your home I think your dh should talk to his boss to see about flexing his schedule so you can go to a funeral.
Just a thought...
How far is your family? If not too far, Amtrak has reasonable fairs at times...
Candice
No, he's schedule doesn't work like that...
He's a cop, works in a prison. His work schedule is completely different than the normal masses or corporate world. It doesn't work the same way for him. Besides, he has to save his time for his surgery.
The funeral already happened the following Saturday anyway, so it doesn't matter. Thanks though. Someday.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
damnation!
sorry
If I was your neighbor...I would take your ss to school for a week! I wish I could help you...
Post new comment