I have been having computer problems so bare with me everybody. I've wanted to write this yesterday but couldn't so here it goes.
We had a small superbowl party Sun. night. Ss was at his mother's house but he knew we were having a party. We told him that it was between him and his mother as to if he could stop by but he was always welcome. So we didn't think anything would come of it. Then around lunch time on Sun. we got a call from Bm asking if ss could come to our party because she wasn't really doing anything. She said that ss did ask her if he could come here and she said no but he acted very sad and she felt guilty and then changed her mind. Which is great for ss. Of course we always want him to be here for things but we are used to it if he can't be and we still try to have fun. That's just how it is. So anyway, ss was happy. We asked one of his friends over after we found out he would be coming and he had fun. End of story....right? Nope.
My husband got a call from Bm Mon. night asking if ss could come to her daughter's birthday dinner/party. Which I could see coming a mile away. Don't get me wrong. He should go. I even got him a gift to take. However, why would she plan it for a school night and not on the weekend. I just don't get it as to why she would plan it on our time and a school night except to get even for letting ss come to our superbowl party. I mean flexible is good to a point but you do have to try and make an effort to work with the schedule as it is.
I guess I could have taped the superbowl and had the party later 
.
Dawn
Same song, same dance
Sounds like a chapter right out of my boyfriends life. Him and his ex do this swap stuff all the time. I finally told him he complains his son does not have a stable life going back and forth, well, he is right. There is a reason for a visition schedule and it is not just so the parent gets time with the kids. It gives the kid a stable schedule / life. I also told him that just like in the adult world, kids have to learn they can't go, have, or do everything they want. It is a good leasson for the kids to learn. This should be learned even in a kids life, even if a kid is raised in one home with biological parents.
Unfortuately, because of the monkey wrench of divorce, people can't seem to get a grip on this and it is "let the games begin!".
How sad for the kids, how sad for all whose lives are touched by this type of thinking.
some people just don't care...
Like a few weeks ago when ss lied to his mother about how much school he would really miss if she would let him take Winter Break early to go to Grandma's. In all truthfulness, bm doesn't really care about how much school he misses, or what his grades will look like. If he does something to really make her look like a bad mom, well then she will let him have it, but she doesn't provide any type of schedule or routine, and doesn't care about baths, brushing teeth, getting ready for school...etc..
I'm with you Dawn, some parents just don't care, if she really wanted to have a bday party, why not a weekend? On her weekend? It's no big deal to share, but why plan something like that on a school night? All the kids are going to be all hoped up on sugar, and how realistic is it to get kids into bed after that?
But some people do work that way, they do one little favor for you..and you owe them big time! Why can't she just let her kids be kids?
Some people are funny about
Some people are funny about celebrating on the actual day. Waiting until every one's schedule is free just isn't practical for everyone. I'm sure she didn't do this maliciously or even intentionally. It's just the day the actual birthday landed on. Don't take it personally....it's nothing to get upset about.
~Cheri~
Unrealistic
I just think that she'd better get used to not having the party on the exact birthday day. We have. Over the years, some times, ss was with her and we didn't get him. As it is now, ss is here every other year on his birthday but if it falls on a weekday there is no way we would plan a party. It would be hard to get anyone to attend. Also, Bm and her ex-boyfriend live together now and don't have a serious boyfriend/girlfriend but in the future he may move out and on. Then Bm will have to share with him and she may not have her on the actual day.
If ss has too much homework that night, then he may not be staying very long. Bm is just going to a pizza place that has video games for the kids. Which considering the party is for a 3 year old, doesn't seem very good for that age. For this little girl's 1st and 2nd birthdays they went to Chuck E Cheese, which is the same kind of thing. It's not like she has these big parties planned and they HAVE to be on the exact day.
That's just my opinion.
Dawn
Post new comment