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Sick of SD11 stealing from me!!

NoNameThx's picture

I've had it with SD11. I think she's a sociopath. She does whatever the hell she wants and has NO remorse when caught. I mean none.

We have a rule in the house that she asks for food, not raids the fridge/pantry. Now, we do not starve her by any stretch of means. She eats really nourishing, good meals, and we give her a morning snack and an afternoon snack, and if she's still hungry in the evening she can have one more. We let her portion out something reasonable. So, she's not starving. But she keeps stealing food out of the fridge and pantry. In the last 5 days alone, she's eaten a GIANT bag of chips, an entire GIANT carton of Goldfish crackers, 2 jars of pickles, a whole box of Gogurts, all of the string cheese from the fridge (there were 2 packages!), and she drank all of my sodas. When confronted about it she will lie, but even when she fesses up, there is absolutely NO remorse and NO apology. I had one soda in the fridge; she woke up before I did and drank it, and tried to hide the can in the bottom of the trash can. I called her out on it and reminded her that it was mine and I had intended to drink it. Her response? "You've got tea and coffee, so drink that, you won't die of thirst!" I WAS SO FRIGGIN PISSED.

Last week, under her dresser, I found one of my eyeshadow pallets. I told her she had no business taking it and she said "well I just found it on the counter, so I used it." SERIOUSLY?!

A few days ago, she was wearing one of MY bracelets that she got out of MY jewelry box. I reminded her it was mine and she had no business taking it. Her response? "I just found it, geez." I told her "no, you did not 'find it', you dug through my belongings and stole it!" And she took it off her wrist and threw it at me!

So this morning, I woke up to find her eating another giant bag of chips. Mind you, money's been tight at our house, and she's blowing my grocery budget by gorging herself on the food we have. I told her "you know, hon, you don't go to work. You don't earn a paycheck. So when you take from me--whether it's food, makeup, jewelry, or whatever--that makes you a thief." She got mad and started kicking the wall and throwing things at me screaming "I AM NOT A THIEF!!" I kept reminding her that if she didn't pay for it, and she takes it, it makes her a thief.

I think this kid is a sociopath. She does only what benefits her, and has absolutely no remorse when caught. Last year at school, she got in big trouble because the teacher sent her to run an errand, and on the way, she snuck in the teacher's lounge and stole a soda from the fridge and drank it. Earlier in the same year, she stole 2 chocolate milks from the cafeteria. No remorse for any of that either.

What is y'alls opinion on this? I am at my wits end!!

NoNameThx's picture

But did you read exactly how much food she took and lied about? What about her taking my makeup, taking my jewelry, and stealing sodas and milk at school?

Dizzy's picture

I'd like to follow this up with this: In addition to locking up the goods, I suggest making healthy options readily available...yogurts (not gogurt), raw almonds, carrot sticks and other fresh veggies and fruits washed and ready to eat...that way, you won't be accused of denying food, just denying unhealthy stuff.

coping's picture

Put a lock on your bedroom door. It sucks, but having her snoop and take stuff at will is worse to me. Put the non perishables in your bedroom to an ration them out.

Peaches1973's picture

This is exactly what we do. We hardly buy junk food or soda but if we do its gone as soon as the kids get home from school so we keep it in our room and that door is locked if we aren't home. Plus my SS has sticky fingers.Better to just lock it all up and not have to worry about it.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Where is her father ??? Whst does he say or do to help tye situation ??

The food is good that to me is a none issue. Food is there to be eaten. Maybe she should be out of the house n not bored n eat !!

Hide your soda in the vegetable bin if that's a big issue.

I'd be upset about my belongings but not the food. I don't give my kids soda ever so hide it.

NoNameThx's picture

I CAN'T just not have her in the house. Her mother is dead. She has always lived full time with her dad and me. And I'm going to buy a big locking box and lock our food away.

Orange County Ca's picture

I'm surprised she's not obese. Lock the box and your bedroom. You can't just hide food, they've got all afternoon after school to look for it.

Tcandme's picture

I went through this and still do with my now SD28, she stole from me since she was 9, I look back and think the one mistake I made when my jewelry was stolen etc. and if I found it in her room was I should have left it there and should have called the police. If she ever comes into my home again and does this that will be the first thing I do, no more pleading with DH to do something about it because he doesn't and never has. Good Luck, you've got a long journey ahead of you.

luchay's picture

What is it with SD's and stealing?

Will come back and read properly later - I am really just bumping legit posts to get the troll off the first page Dirol

katielee's picture

Good idea. I've been wondering how we can get rid of the troll.

katielee's picture

Good idea. I've been wondering how we can get rid of the troll.

counseling.advocate's picture

Food is easy... You can lock up the food if you want, but what I do is I only buy what we are going to eat for a few days at a time. We'll have canned stuff on hand and frozen meat and stuff but we don't have a bunch of snacks like bags of chips, and crap like that. Buy fruit and veggies. If she's so hungry then she will have to snack on healthier options and choose to buy things that will fill her up that are cheap like carrots for example. She may choose not to snack so often if she has to eat healthier and if there's less selection.
Also helps me not to eat too. Lol!

DH needs to step in about stealing outside the home and teach her values and give appropriate punishments. It's in his daughters best interest. Doesn't he know that?

And your belongings, you just have to keep them away from her. Ask her how she would feel if you took one of her favorite things away from her without asking? Tell her you might just do that next time it happens.

I got the kids to stop asking me for items at the store while shopping by telling them for every one item you ask me for, I'm going to take one item you already own at home away. (Like a throw pillow, shirt, doll, toy of some sort) different but you get that she needs some sort of incentive to stop doing the things she's doing because it doesn't sound like she's really being punished besides you calling her a thief. Good for you by the way! Lol

peacemaker's picture

Dh needs to sit down with her and clearly make some healthy boundaries...If you don't start now...the attitude of entitlement will just escalate. Lock it all up so she cannot get to it for a while...unril she gets into the habit of asking...He most definitely needs to back you up on this...and let her know it is totally unacceptable in your home to take things without asking permission.

Then if she does it again...let there be heavy consequence so she knows you both mean what you say. If you remove everything so she can't get it without asking...she will have no choice ..make it easy at first, then when she is into the habit of asking restock your shelves....

Shoot even my bio daughter asks to borrow my make up and jewelry...It's just a matter of proper upbringing....good luck